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The doghouse

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Original poster

Husband wants a dog, need help choosing

121 replies

StarsShineBrightly · 11/12/2022 22:11

So husband wants a dog as he thinks this will help him get fit. He needs to get fit so I'm certainly agreeable. I like dogs, but would have preferred to wait a bit due to my work, but DH works from home so can do the walks and be available and do most of the training.

We've been researching, but are a bit stuck on breed, so thought wise mners might be able to advise!

We need it to be able to be home alone sometimes, good with kids and resident cats (2, one is elderly).

Kids are pre-teen/ early teen, both very bouncy and can be loud.

We thought of a lab, but i think they're a bit too big, I'd prefer a medium size

Labradoodle, but apparently they're also quite big.

Beagle, difficult to train and bark a lot.

DH will mainly be training it, but he has adhd so a difficult to train dog will just see everyone miserable including the dog.

DH wants a dog that can manage a 10 mile walk, but not need a walk that long every day. I don't want loads of extra work, so low-ish maintenance is ideal, but most of the recommended ones are too small for what DH wants.

I'm wondering if we're looking for an impossible dog?!

We aren't looking for a rescue as kids and cats seem to rule us out.

Any ideas greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Claudia84 · 11/12/2022 23:07

Spaniels are very high energy but need a lot of 'work' so won't be good for days when husband is working from home and doggo doesn't have a job.
Labradors are the most family friendly dogs - most suited to family life and flexibility.
I'd steer clear of cockapoos, beagles, collies.

Orangesare · 11/12/2022 23:09

I’d go for a lab as they are bomb proof and love children especially early teens. Yes they need a good walk every day but they are easy going and adaptable. They’ll go camping, sea swimming, travel well in the car, easy to train, take them in pubs and cafes and obviously will happily walk miles. We’ve had a few and they are great dogs.
I like spaniels but they are not as easy going

sueelleker · 11/12/2022 23:11

Kaylisa · 11/12/2022 22:14

I have two springers and they’re fab. Great with kids. Love a long walk but equally happy with a quick walk and some play time.
they haven’t been destructive. Not noisy. Easy to train.
they are very mouthy when puppies but we would just redirect to a toy.

I'd second springers, or cockers. They're both lively breeds, but usually quite happy to chill in the house.

PauliString · 11/12/2022 23:12

Dogs are very tying in a way that may come as a shock to a cat-family. Is your DH likely to be working from home for the next 12 to 15 years, not just while the dog is a puppy?

Mariposista · 11/12/2022 23:13

My mum got a labrador as her retirement project. He was hard hard work in his early puppy days, and we still had the odd 'tearing your hair out' moment until about 18 months and we got him neutered.
He is a wonderful companion now. Yes he is big, but intelligent, well trained, doesn't bark, gentle. And she walks up to 10k a day with him - he is an energetic lad who needs plenty of exercise.

thelobsterquadrille · 11/12/2022 23:13

If you have an elderly cat, please don't get a puppy. It's not fair.

Hairyfairy01 · 11/12/2022 23:17

Take a look at show cocker spaniels. Ignore the various show cuts (beautiful as they are), you can clip them if the long show coat isn't for you.

Sunflowers765 · 11/12/2022 23:21

Also working from home and looking after a puppy are not compatible things! A puppy needs pretty constant attention for the first few months you have it. It won't just lie quietly while your DH is still on the phone/computer or whatever. It will whine, chew stuff, and wee on the floor.

Original poster
StarsShineBrightly · 11/12/2022 23:29

@PixelatedLunchbox i have to say this is my main concern and what I'm most worried about.

However we have often talked about getting a dog, I've just wanted to wait until I've got more free time so if dh didn't pull his weight with it, it wasn't so much of a problem.

@PauliString good point about the wfh, which i have raised, but he's not so concerned about this. In his line of work most positions are hybrid or wfh.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarsShineBrightly · 11/12/2022 23:32

@Sunflowers765 then he'll be very busy because I'm not here at all!

In all seriousness though that is helpful because I don't think he's fully aware of how demanding a puppy will be.

OP posts:
BoxerMam · 11/12/2022 23:34

Boxer?
Excellent family dogs. They are high energy, but if they get regular exercise/ mind stimulation they're absolutely love bugs who just want to cuddle.

Itsoktogiveup · 11/12/2022 23:38

My friend has elderly cats. Got a young dog. Assumed it would be fine as the cats had lived with a dog some years before.

The cats then got a series of life-threatening stress-related diseases. The vet said it was all definitely caused by the introduction of the puppy.

I hope your house is big enough to keep the dog very far from the cats, like country mansion big. Otherwise it’s just cruel.

WetBandits · 11/12/2022 23:40

Whippet? Couch potato and walking/running buddy all rolled into one. Sooo many lurcher rescues around and most will cat test upon request.

SybilThePup · 11/12/2022 23:42

I'd also vote for a springer.

We have a 5 month springer. We've built up slowly and she's gets one 45 minute off lead walk a day through woods and one 20 minute street walk. What I love about her walks is that she pretty much exercises herself when off lead...if I do 2 miles, she does 10 easily, nose down, in and out of the bushes, constantly sniffing. She's exhausted for hours when we get home and just naps.

She's such a fabulous, easy dog. So intelligent I swear she understands every word I say at times. She just wants to please us in everything she does and training has been a breeze, she picks things up within minutes. Totally bombproof recall, she whistle trained with ease (although I appreciate this may change as she enters teenage years!). She sleeps all night, she's fairly calm at home, has never chewed anything she shouldn't. Fabulous with the kids, polite with other dogs and humans. The only problem we've had is with food as she has a sensitive stomach so we're currently trialling new foods that won't give her loose stools.

Personally I would never get a cocker...it always blows my mind that they're so much more popular than springers and that it's springers that have the rep of being nutty and bouncy. I know lots of spaniel owners and see plenty more when out. Every springer has seemed more or less like ours whereas the cockers I know/see are bonkers, tend to be destructive indoors and as a rule seem to have very poor recall. Our local shelters are full to bursting with cockers and I think they prove far too much for many families.

Polkadotties · 11/12/2022 23:43

failedmydog · 11/12/2022 23:04

A working lab? Fox red lab? retriever? Maybe look at the traditional hunting retrieving working breeds if he is going to genuinely get those miles in when the dog is older.

I think a Cocker Spaniel size wise, energy wise and training wise might suit you? And you could get a rescue?

If you can work up the exercise and it's a case of getting out of the house to start with?

My user name isn't a great one for dog advice but the amazing people on here have helped me with some muzzle advice!

And I forgot to change my name!

Definitely not a working lab! My fox red is from strong working lines. She is still a puppy so cannot be exercised much and we spend hours mentally stimulating her and she’s still on the go all the time

Polkadotties · 11/12/2022 23:46

SybilThePup · 11/12/2022 23:42

I'd also vote for a springer.

We have a 5 month springer. We've built up slowly and she's gets one 45 minute off lead walk a day through woods and one 20 minute street walk. What I love about her walks is that she pretty much exercises herself when off lead...if I do 2 miles, she does 10 easily, nose down, in and out of the bushes, constantly sniffing. She's exhausted for hours when we get home and just naps.

She's such a fabulous, easy dog. So intelligent I swear she understands every word I say at times. She just wants to please us in everything she does and training has been a breeze, she picks things up within minutes. Totally bombproof recall, she whistle trained with ease (although I appreciate this may change as she enters teenage years!). She sleeps all night, she's fairly calm at home, has never chewed anything she shouldn't. Fabulous with the kids, polite with other dogs and humans. The only problem we've had is with food as she has a sensitive stomach so we're currently trialling new foods that won't give her loose stools.

Personally I would never get a cocker...it always blows my mind that they're so much more popular than springers and that it's springers that have the rep of being nutty and bouncy. I know lots of spaniel owners and see plenty more when out. Every springer has seemed more or less like ours whereas the cockers I know/see are bonkers, tend to be destructive indoors and as a rule seem to have very poor recall. Our local shelters are full to bursting with cockers and I think they prove far too much for many families.

No wonder she is exhausted, you are doing far too much for a 5 month old!

WondrousWinger · 11/12/2022 23:53

No wonder she is exhausted, you are doing far too much for a 5 month old

Why? If you mean the 45 minute walk, the '5 minutes per month of age' advice is aimed at traipsing them round on a lead, not off lead. She's from working lines and the off lead pace is led by her...45 minutes of nose down sniffing and chasing at her own pace is totally fine.

Polkadotties · 12/12/2022 00:01

WondrousWinger · 11/12/2022 23:53

No wonder she is exhausted, you are doing far too much for a 5 month old

Why? If you mean the 45 minute walk, the '5 minutes per month of age' advice is aimed at traipsing them round on a lead, not off lead. She's from working lines and the off lead pace is led by her...45 minutes of nose down sniffing and chasing at her own pace is totally fine.

You’ve said she does 10 miles to your 2. Regardless of it being on or off lead that is far too many miles. Yoir puppy is 5 months old. If you want many happy years of long walks protect her joints at this age.

tabulahrasa · 12/12/2022 07:38

I wouldn’t get a dog if you’ve an elderly cat that’s not used to dogs tbh, that’s a hell of a lot of stress to put it under.

Also... puppies aren’t low maintenance, it’s a bit like getting a toddler in terms of work to start with.

I don’t know that you’re looking for an impossible dog so much as that your feeling that it’s not the right time yet might be correct.

bjjgirl · 12/12/2022 07:39

Best way to ensure your dog is good with cats and kids is get a rescue which has experience with both

Staffies are amazing with kids

Roselilly36 · 12/12/2022 07:46

Good luck OP, I hope it all works out ok.

OldWivesTale · 12/12/2022 07:46

My dog is 18 months and it still feels like we've got a toddler in the house. It's not easy to work from home with a puppy. I suppose it depends on what he's actually doing work wise.

FallingsHowIFeel · 12/12/2022 07:49

Getting a dog to get fit? 🤦🏻‍♀️ tell him to join the gym or start running on the roads.

Wolfiefan · 12/12/2022 07:49

I think the fact he wants a dog that will walk 10 miles but you want low maintenance is not compatible. Plus a dog that wants that amount of exercise would want it daily. Not when he can be bothered.
Puppies are bloody hard work. You can’t toilet train unless you are able to take the dog out very very frequently. So after eating, drinking, playing, sleeping and about every half an hour. Puppies chew. Lots. So need supervision.
And an elderly cat may not be able to cope with a bouncy addition.

Lcb123 · 12/12/2022 07:53

Sorry but I really don’t think you should be getting a dog. Esp if only your husband is fully committed. If he wants to go for a walk he doesn’t need a dog to do this. They are a massive commitment and not fair to the dog if you are not fully ready