Is there any way to mute my dog?

[UnderTheSkyInsideTheSea]

She’s always been very a very vocal dog - she needs to tell you exactly how she’s feeling at all times, which is basically unsettled/annoyed if you’e doing anything other than sitting still, all together, and only moving to fuss her or get her more food. Now that she’s elderly, a bit senile, and completely deaf, the barking has gone off the scale. It really affects our quality of life.

I was wonit possible to paralyse vocal cords with botox injections?

If it's an anxiety type bark, it may be worth asking about medication, though.

@Timmymagical

I completely get your frustration, our old girl had dementia and constantly licked a wart on her foot. That noise drove me mad, I suffer from misophonia too.

Thanks @Timmymagical. Don’t get me started on the frequent arse/bits slurping (often saved for when we’re eating). 🙄

You won't find a vet who'll put a geriatric dog through unnecessary surgery.

Would anti-anxiety medication be a better option? What is her quality of life like if she is barking persistently through the day - is she distressed by it at all?

It’s illegal to debark a dog in the UK.

“Debarking is specifically prohibited in the UK, along with ear cropping, tail docking, and declawing of cats.”

It comes under the category of cosmetic surgical mutilation.

@fairylightsandwaxmelts that’s kind of my point, though… to make us (including the neighbours) feel better, because there’s nothing we can do about the deafness or dementia.

Anxiety barking/whining is only really when one of us goes out (she’s never left alone at all any more, but if DH goes out during the day (ie not at the ‘leaving for work’ time in the morning), she’ll often bark or whine at the door. She also does this when it’s approaching the time when DH usually arrives home from work (to feed her!).

She’s always been hysterical if one of us goes out of sight for any reason - as soon as we’re back she stops - but that’s not really such a problem because she’s always done it and we’re used to that.

The things that have changed is that

1. she’s realised that she can’t hear, so she goes and checks at the door much more often to see if he’s back (because she can’t listen for him).
2. she can’t hear us tell her to shush, or call her away from the door/in from the garden.
3. her short term memory isn’t great, so you tell her something and she’s forgotten it 5 secs later.
4. she’s disinhibited (or maybe just more entitled with age), so she wants to tell you loudly and constantly what she wants (which is always more food and more attention).

Debarking is an operation - I looked it up. I’m not proposing surgery!

I’m wondering about botox injections, like they give for excessive sweating, or cosmetic procedures.

It doesn’t sound like anyone here knows if it’s possible anyway, though.

If she's that distressed that she barks and cries constantly, I would be thinking about whether it would be kinder to have her put to sleep.

@ChuckBerrysBoots the majority of her barking is because she wants something, she’s excited, or she’s cross. She does lots of hard staring and whining or growling in the hour before her meal is due (she’s fed four times a day) and barks excitedly whenever she thinks it’s time for her meal/while you’re prepping and serving it. She barks whenever she thinks she deserves a treat, which is A LOT - also, for a supposedly senile dog, she is very good at generalising when it comes to food, so things that she used to get a treat for when she was younger, eg if we went out and came back, she now expects/tries it on even if we’ve just stepped out of the front door to grab a parcel, or when we come back with her (ie she’s been out too), or even if I go into the utility room. We trained her (with rewards) to pee in a certain place, so she barks hysterically after she’s done that until you give her the treat, and will often bark expectantly even if she didn’t pee in the place she’s meant to.

She barks madly whenever she’s allowed down the garden, because she can smell the fox. Or the many, many neighbourhood cats. Once the weather warms up and the patio door is open all the time again, I’m worried it’ll be constant, which is very unfair on the neighbours.

She barks madly when a geriatric cat comes to visit at the window for his daily meals (I understand her outrage, but hoped she’d have got used to it by now). She barks when we take the plates to the kitchen after eating (fuck knows why, as she’s never been fed leftovers or from our plates). If she’s not barking or sleeping, she’s whining (which also drives me mad) or growling (which I don’t mind). Luckily she does spend a lot of time sleeping.

Have you tried any anti anxiety meds? Vet recommended our dpuppy some. Or Rescue Remedy for health food shop? Apparently they sell more for animals than humans!

Just say, hypothetically, that you found a vet willing to risk his/her registration to perform an unethical procedure. Have you considered the practicalities of it?
Thinking about where you're hoping to have the injections: to intentionally paralyse her throat would be very dangerous to her breathing. She needs that control to stop her inhaling food, or to stop paralysed tissues obstructing her airway.
To actually administer the injection would be nowhere near as simple as the ones uou mentioned in humans for sweating either. She isn't going to sit there and let it be done, so it would involve a general anaesthetic. Even hypothetically, it's a bad idea

Ingnoring the Botox question, have you tried anxiety or other medication? Our dog became very vocal after an op, especially at night and very panicked. He has anxiety medication (zyklene) a diffuser and a sedative for if he gets extremely panicked.

@fairylightsandwaxmelts as I said, she’s always been very, very vocal. She’ll sit and growl at you because she wants you to fuss her or play with her, she barks because she wants you to do something. The majority of the noise is not due to distress, it’s because she’s telling what you do. She used to come in when I whistled, and tone it down when I gave her commands, but the deafness means we can only use hand signals (when she’s looking at us) now, and the disinhibition /goldfish memory seems to make her less inclined to take any notice.

Op you're getting a hard time here! I've a barker too and at least once a week tell him "you're getting your voice box out"!

My gorgeous dog lived until she was 17. She did become very vocal as she reached very old age, yes it could be irritating but no , I honestly never once dreamt of what you are suggesting. Muting your dog is absolutely disgusting.

@cheeseislife8 well asking about the practicalities of it was exactly why I posted (rather than for all the knee jerk responses about how it’s cruel to take away a deaf dog’s voice 🙄). They seem to do it very precisely in humans, so no I wasn’t expecting that it would affect swallowing or breathing (if it does, then of course I wouldn’t want it, not that any vet would do it anyway, in that case).

I was hoping someone might know whether it’s a safe and relatively uninvasive procedure. I think I was hoping for too much, though.

God what an awful post!

This type of procedure is prohibited in the UK (if that's where you are) and in other countries where it is permitted is usually down by the removal of the voice box. It is actually classed as a form of surgical mutilation in the UK.

*done

@PermanentlyDizzy

It’s illegal to debark a dog in the UK.

“Debarking is specifically prohibited in the UK, along with ear cropping, tail docking, and declawing of cats.”

It comes under the category of cosmetic surgical mutilation.

Well thank Fuck for that

@Hoppinggreen I know. I am shocked it is permitted in any country. It is disgusting.

What a horrible suggestion to debark a dog. I would do anything to hear my long gone girl again.

@tealandteal

Ingnoring the Botox question, have you tried anxiety or other medication? Our dog became very vocal after an op, especially at night and very panicked. He has anxiety medication (zyklene) a diffuser and a sedative for if he gets extremely panicked.

We have, @tealandteal - zylkene and diffuser stuff; neither made any difference.

@Pebble3

This type of procedure is prohibited in the UK (if that's where you are) and in other countries where it is permitted is usually down by the removal of the voice box. It is actually classed as a form of surgical mutilation in the UK.

But I'm not suggesting anything surgical.

@curlymom

What a horrible suggestion to debark a dog. I would do anything to hear my long gone girl again.

Maybe your dog's bark wasn't as shrill as insistent as this then, @curlymom. There are lots of things I'll miss about my dog when she's gone, but her bark won't be one of them.