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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

My dog died in my arms unexpectedly and I’m not doing too good

109 replies

Nikki037297 · 25/10/2021 09:10

Over the weekend we went out for a walk. When we got home my dog was very tired, she was 11, she settled on the rug in the living room but tried to get up and her back legs wouldn’t work, I assumed she was very tired and just needed a rest, I put her on the sofa and had a blanket down for her to lay on, she settled and seamed ok, I looked over a few minuets later and her breathing seamed very fast but faint, I went immediately over to her and spoke to her but she couldn’t look at me, her eyes were open but not focusing, I tried to move her to see if that got her attention maybe she was falling asleep, her head flopped right back and she didn’t response, I panicked and picked her up, her head was flopping all over, I held her like a baby and I could feel her chest with one hand and her heart was beating, I shouted of my partner to cal the vet, she started to take gasps of breath every 30 seconds or so and no breathing inbetween, her heart just stopped beating and the gasps stopped before my partner had even managed to get through to the vet they have a long message you have to listen to about the covid, but I don’t suppose it would have made any difference if he had of spoken to a vet, after this her pupils just went huge to the size of her eyes and there was nothing she was just gone. I’m not sleeping very well, I feel very down. Wondering why I didn’t spot the signs earlier if there was any, which now I look back there was things that day that were off like her not barking at the postman or greeting the other dogs on our walk. I don’t know how to get
Myself out of this mood or when it wills pass. Iv had my dog since she was a tiny puppy and have spent every day of 11 years with her except when we have went abroad and left her with family. She was such a huge part of our family and she’s just gone so quickly. Iv never lost a pet before I did when I was a young child but I don’t really remember much about it as I was young and I do remember my mum being heart broken saying she would never have another dog. Is what I’m feeling normal?

OP posts:

ineedaholidayandwine · 25/10/2021 09:15

No advice but i'm so sorry about your dog, i hope you find some comfort that she was in a place she was happy, comfortable and held by the person who loved her.
It's completely normal what your feeling and it does get easier, i've lost a lot of pets over the years from gerbils and hamsters to dogs and cats. You'll always have those fond memories of her

Nopetryagain · 25/10/2021 09:15

I am so sorry for your loss, it is totally normal to feel grief for your dog and to be in shock. Take comfort that she was in your arms when she passed away, she would have felt comforted and loved by you.

Lawlawlawlaw · 25/10/2021 09:16

I'm so sorry OP.

Youcancallmeval · 25/10/2021 09:18

I'm so sorry.

Guineapiggiesmalls · 25/10/2021 09:18

I’m so sorry, that sounds so upsetting for you. No wonder you’re struggling right now. Don’t beat yourself up about missing any signs, it certainly doesn’t sound like there were any. What you’re feeling is definitely normal, you’ve lost someone you loved.

Try and think of it this way - your dog had a lovely autumn walk with her beloved owner, then lay down on the sofa, snuggled under a blanket and fell asleep in your arms.

ImJustNotMeAnymore · 25/10/2021 09:19

That's so sad 😢 try to take some comfort that she was safe and loved when she passed. Be kind to yourself.

YesIDoLoveCrisps · 25/10/2021 09:20

That’s so sad and I am so sorry. Just take some comfort in the fact that she was the best place for her when she passed (as hard as it was for you)

AutumnWreath · 25/10/2021 09:20

Your dog had just had a walk which is favourite pastime for them. She came home to be put on the sofa with a warm cuddly blanket , and she was being fussed by one of her favourite humans. She knew she was loved.
Sorry for your loss .

Chocaholic9 · 25/10/2021 09:22

I'm so sorry this has happened, OP. It is devastating to lose your dog so suddenly like this.

What you're feeling is totally normal.

I had a cat that I loved several years ago. Only had him a few years but absolutely loved him to bits. I lived alone at the time (and rurally) and worked from home so we were together all the time. One day he dropped dead on the living room floor in front of me. It was all over in about 20 seconds, sounds very similar to what you describe with your dog.

I blamed myself, because I'd been busy working from home that day and he'd been trying to get my attention for pats but I'd been ignoring him a bit (I didn't normally do that.) I beat myself up mentally for weeks over that, that the last day we spent together was not what I wished it had been. If I had known he was going to pass I would have given him pats.

Now it's been several years since he died, I realise it was not my fault. There was nothing I could have done. There weren't really any obvious signs it was going to happen. It was just his time to pass. It took me a while before I stopped blaming myself.

I hope you won't blame yourself for your dog's death. The small signs that you noticed that he wasn't himself weren't that obvious - they're not the sort of thing you would go to the vet over.

I started to feel better after several weeks, but I loved that cat so much I can still tear up over what happened, 7 years later.

Just10moreminutesplease · 25/10/2021 09:24

I’m so sorry OP .

That sounds like such a shock but from your dog’s perspective it was the very kindest death possible. She passed in the most comforting place possible, your arms.

It will be hard at first but soon happy memories will take over from the pain. Hang in there.

clopper · 25/10/2021 09:24

What a shock for you. At least she died quickly and without pain in the arms of her favourite person, maybe after you are over the immediate shock you could focus on this to bring you some comfort.

Chocaholic9 · 25/10/2021 09:25

@Chocaholic9

I'm so sorry this has happened, OP. It is devastating to lose your dog so suddenly like this.

What you're feeling is totally normal.

I hope you won't blame yourself for your dog's death. The small signs that you noticed that he wasn't himself weren't that obvious - they're not the sort of thing you would go to the vet over.

I started to feel better after several weeks, but I loved that cat so much I can still tear up over what happened, 7 years later.

Sorry, she (not he.)

Newfluff · 25/10/2021 09:26

@AutumnWreath

This, horrendous for you but what a lovely way to leave this earth for her, happy, warm, in familiar surroundings and loved. The best we can hope for those we love is a good death. I am very sorry for your loss.

Wbeezer · 25/10/2021 09:26

We had the exact same thing happen to our cat a week ago, it was very shocking which makes it harder than an expected death. DS1 won't go back in the room where it happened yet.
After doing a bit of reading we think it was probably a blood clot, horrible for us but we are trying to concentrate on how it wasn't the worst death for her as it was fairly quick and we were with her.
It is very tough though, they leave a big hole when they go don't they?

Snugglemuffin · 25/10/2021 09:26

I'm so sorry! This same thing happened with my dog when I still lived at home with my parents. Just out for a walk and jumped up, then fell and she died in my mum's arms.

It is so devastating, but in a way, the nicest way for a dog to go as not much suffering and with the human they love

Daisy4569 · 25/10/2021 09:27

Oh how heartbreaking.

This will hurt for a long time i’m sure but take comfort in the fact that this really is the nicest possible way for her to pass on. She clearly wasn’t in pain, she was with her favourite person being loved and not alone, she was comfortable and in familiar surroundings. If you could plan a final day for her it would probably be quite similar. When you think of the alternatives it really is a nice way to go and the fact it was unexpected meant you got to really enjoy your last walk together and she didn’t see you sad.

Take care x

Motorina · 25/10/2021 09:31

I'm so sorry.

The grief and shock you're feeling is utterly normal.

Noone who has not been through it can understand it. It's brutal and is the worst part of loving and being loved by a dog.

From your dog's perspective, she had a lovely walk, a nap on the sofa under a blanket, then slipped away quickly and peacefully in the arms of the person she loved most. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but this is a good ending for a good life. Your dog was very lucky, to have been owned and loved by you.

It will get better. It will never entirely fade, but it will get better.

AnnieJ1985 · 25/10/2021 09:31

So sorry to hear this. You have had a big shock and it is so sad. You will miss her and grieve for her, she was in your life for a long time.

I hope you will take some comfort that she was with you, felt safe and loved. She might not have been able to see you, but she would have smelled you and felt your love and your pulse and all those many things that keep them safe. She died peacefully, it doesn't sound like she was in a state of distress or pain. You kept her safe until the end.

Be gentle with yourself and your feelings. It is tough 💐

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 25/10/2021 09:33

I’m so sorry about your dog OP.

I know it’s a cliche but she did have a quick way out, she was with you when she died and you could comfort her at the end. It’s devastating then it happens and you didn’t have time to prepare, and it hurts, but for her it was the best. The alternative is a long decline and loss of quality of life in the end and you wouldn’t want that for your dog.

HeartsAndClubs · 25/10/2021 09:34

Am so sorry that it was so hard for you.

AnotherName456 · 25/10/2021 09:35

I'm so sorry for your loss

Original poster

Nikki037297 · 25/10/2021 09:48

Thank you everyone. I feel so down and still so shocked it still doesn’t seam real. My children are all heartbroken too Iv had my dog since my children were babies so they know no life without her. I’m so sorry to everyone who has also been through such an awful loss

OP posts:

BitterTits · 25/10/2021 09:51

I'm sorry your dog has gone OP, but what a blessing for her to die at home in your arms and not at the vet.

FiveShelties · 25/10/2021 09:58

I am so very sorry, but she died in your arms. knowing she was loved and in her own home, so much better than being rushed to the Vets.

Look after yourself and your family, it is so terribly hard to lose a much loved pet.

MrsEricBana · 25/10/2021 10:03

Oh I am so very sorry, i understand this only too well. Time is a great healer, and in the meantime take some comfort from how lucky you were to have each other

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