My dog died in my arms unexpectedly and I’m not doing too good

[Nikki037297]

Over the weekend we went out for a walk. When we got home my dog was very tired, she was 11, she settled on the rug in the living room but tried to get up and her back legs wouldn’t work, I assumed she was very tired and just needed a rest, I put her on the sofa and had a blanket down for her to lay on, she settled and seamed ok, I looked over a few minuets later and her breathing seamed very fast but faint, I went immediately over to her and spoke to her but she couldn’t look at me, her eyes were open but not focusing, I tried to move her to see if that got her attention maybe she was falling asleep, her head flopped right back and she didn’t response, I panicked and picked her up, her head was flopping all over, I held her like a baby and I could feel her chest with one hand and her heart was beating, I shouted of my partner to cal the vet, she started to take gasps of breath every 30 seconds or so and no breathing inbetween, her heart just stopped beating and the gasps stopped before my partner had even managed to get through to the vet they have a long message you have to listen to about the covid, but I don’t suppose it would have made any difference if he had of spoken to a vet, after this her pupils just went huge to the size of her eyes and there was nothing she was just gone. I’m not sleeping very well, I feel very down. Wondering why I didn’t spot the signs earlier if there was any, which now I look back there was things that day that were off like her not barking at the postman or greeting the other dogs on our walk. I don’t know how to get
Myself out of this mood or when it wills pass. Iv had my dog since she was a tiny puppy and have spent every day of 11 years with her except when we have went abroad and left her with family. She was such a huge part of our family and she’s just gone so quickly. Iv never lost a pet before I did when I was a young child but I don’t really remember much about it as I was young and I do remember my mum being heart broken saying she would never have another dog. Is what I’m feeling normal?

How heart-breaking and what a shock for you. She was with you when she went though - a dignified way to go. I'm so sorry for your loss. x

I’m so sorry- that’s so awful and such a shock as you weren’t expecting it.
If it’s any comfort,you were there cuddling her and caring for her in her last moments.
Honestly if you could choose how your beloved pet would go,it is how you described.It might not feel like it now but maybe in time you will see it was the best for your dog. Better than being ill or suffering or having to choose to pts.
Big hugs xx

I started crying reading this op. I feel so very sorry for you, it’s comforting for you to know that your doggo passed away peacefully in your arms. It’s a cliche but time really does ease the pain. Be kind to yourself in the meantime xx 💐

@Nikki037297 I'm so sorry to hear this. I had exactly the same experience with my old boy, c14 years old. He had some roast chicken at 3pm and went to sleep, had a massive seizure at 4pm and died before we got him to the vet. It was terribly shocking for us but actually the most wonderful end for him. Vet said he wouldn't have known a thing about it. Try and take some comfort in the fact your girl would have been exactly the same xx

I’m so sorry sweetheart, it sounds like she went quickly and surrounded by love. That is all we can hope for. You did the absolute best for her

I'm sorry for your loss. I have lost many dogs and I promise you, your dog had the very best end any older dog could hope for. No pain, no slow terminal illness; no horrible treatments or stressful visits to the vet. A happy day, then falling asleep at home on the sofa held by their beloved person. We should all be so lucky to end our lives like that.

     It is desperately hard  for dog owners to adjust to the  empty space, the silence,  the gaps in daily routine  left by their companion of many years.   It's the price we pay  for our lifespans being so much longer than theirs. 
  It will get easier in time and we never forget them.

@Nikki037297

Thank you again everyone for all your kind words at this awful time they really mean a lot to me and I’m pleased to know what I’m feeling is normal I hope it passes very soon, she was extremely loved by us all and was like one of my children, she slept upstairs with us all and would sleep with the children in their beds, she would come for days out with us in the car, we went camping in the summer and she came and she loved that. We have thousands of pictures of her and videos of her, even a video of her on the walk less than an hour before she suddenly passed.

So much love to you and your family. She sounds like a wonderful companion and passed away after a lovely walk and in the company of her favourite humans ❤ I hope as the unbearable grief settles, you will think of her with joy.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Ah, so sorry OP. The same thing happened to my dog. She was 11 too.

We'd just come back from a walk, I was taking my shoes off and and I heard a thud in the kitchen. Rushed in to see Ddog collapsed on the floor, breathing like you describe. I knew it wasn't looking good but I panicked, bundled her into the car and drove to the vet. Unfortunately she died on the way there. I kind of knew she would, tbh.

With hindsight, I wish I'd done what you did and just sat with her til the end. It would have been a calmer thing to do for sure, but I think you always question what you could have/should have done. You did exactly the right thing, upsetting though it was.

Aww I’m so sorry, what a nasty shock. Yes- it’s completely normal to feel utterly heartbroken and devastated they are a huge part of our lives.

In time, when you’ve healed, perhaps you can open your heart to another furry friend.

I'm so sorry what a terrible shock for you all.
Your DDog died in the arms of someone who loved her which isn't a bad way to go

I'm so, so sorry Nikki. What you are feeling is entirely normal after losing a beloved companion so suddenly and traumatically.

Grief is the price we pay for love, and few things on this earth equal the love of a good dog.

Take care of yourself. Write on here if it helps.

I was at the vets today collecting DCAT'S ashes and saw a couple standing holding umbrellas over a spaniel in a dog bed on the tailgate of their truck, the vet and nurse came out and carried him in to the surgery in his bed and the couple broke down, i cant be sure of course but it looked to me as though he was about to be put down without his owners being able to be with him. At least you and your lovely dog were together until the very end.

I'm so sorry for you. Your lovely dog was a much loved member of your family. She knew she was loved, she spent a lovely day with you, had a walk and was warm and with the person she loved best. I know you feel sad, but you will remember how sweet she was and how much joy she brought to your life.

Maybe you could give a small gift to an animal shelter in her memory, it might alleviate the loss somewhat. It's what I did when my 22-year-old cat died in her sleep, it just helped me to cope better.

💐💐
I'm so sorry about your dog

Losing a dog is one of the worst feelings it tears your heart out as they are such beautiful souls and it feels too brief a life. What you are feeling is completely normal and shows how much you loved her. I’m so sorry 💕

So sorry @Nikki037297 it hurts so badly

I'm so very very sorry for your loss.
It's the worst kind of loss - having list family and our dog, the dog actually hurt more than the close loved one.
Our dog had to be suddenly put to sleep when I was heavily pregnant due to a serious, untreatable injury and it nearly broke me.
I've never known pain like it and I genuinely didn't think the heaviness in my chest would ever lift.
It did lift. It took time and lots of mindfulness and support but I did get through it
I cried for days and just survived for a few weeks before the fog lifted but it did get better, and it will get better fit you.

Things that helped:

• I made an album on my phone off all the pictures I had of him and shared it with my partner. It helped knowing his memory was still alive along with all the wonderful memories. It also kept me busy.
• family support and talking.
• lots of eagle walks - which was difficult without him at first but the more I did it, the more I got used to it.
• being honest with people about how I felt and showing how I felt, not trying to force a smile.

It's not easy and it will take time but it will get better. You did everything you could and there's no way you couldn't seen it coming. None of us analyse every bark or lack thereof so please be kind to yourself.
You're grieving and need support right now.

My dog died in a very similar way - at home, just after a walk. He whined and collapsed; we rushed to him and he died in my husband's arms. We were terribly shocked. Previous pets had been PTS which brings its own trauma, but at least you are mentally prepared for the loss.

Like you, I wondered if there was anything we could have done but there were no signs - he'd had his annual health check about 6 weeks previously and nothing was raised. He was just old and his heart gave up.

There isn't an easy way to get over it - you have to do what feels right for you. It helped me to talk about it - to my husband, family, trusted work colleagues. I also found some photographs to frame and display in the living room. Gradually, you stop thinking about it all the time and start to remember your long and happy time with your dog.

The usual times of his walks were difficult at first because we'd move to walk him and then realise he wasn't there. It helped to do other things at those specific times.

The pain will ease, but in the meantime allow yourself to grieve and take things day by day.

I am so, so sorry. We lost my boy last year in a very similar way and it is such a trauma and shock that it takes time to get over.

My boy was only 7, but had been ill for a couple of years. He had already had a TIA a few weeks earlier, but made a full recovery, although we were warned he could go on to have a full ischemic stroke at some point. It still came as a terrible shock, as he had been doing so much better over the previous weeks and it presented very differently. He had had a good day, sleeping in the sun in the garden while dh worked out there. Dh was sleeping downstairs with him, because he’d had some digestive issues and often needed to go out at short notice, so he was sleeping on dh’s legs on the sofa when at 6.00 am he suddenly started breathing strangely and his eyes became sort of fixed, dh called me, I shot downstairs and sat holding his head and talking gently to him with dh next to us, but it was clear he had already gone, his heart carried on for a short while, with the gasps as you describe, then it all stopped. I was told afterwards the gasps are involuntary and sadly normal in this sort of situation. On speaking to the specialist vets afterwards they were certain it was a massive stroke and reassured me that he won’t have known a thing about it. All he will have known is snoozing with dh, nothing after that.

I was an absolute mess and didn’t sleep much for weeks, but after a while was able to appreciate that the last thing he remembered was snuggling on a blanket with dh and was thankful that he didn’t have to go through the trauma of being pts at the vets without us there (this was during the first lockdown and it was something we had had to consider a few weeks earlier, but decided against). At first I was angry with myself that we hadn’t let him go sooner, but over time I realised his last few weeks were spent being safe, comfortable and happy with his family and his last minutes were actually peaceful and surrounded by love, so in actual fact it was probably the best thing for him, as after lots of treatment over the preceding year, he hated the vets by that point.

We are now in the final days of our 16 year old lad and to be honest, much as I don’t want to lose him, on balance I think I would prefer him to go like our other dog did, rather than in a clinical way at the vets (although we are planning a home visit, as his is a slow decline). I am absolutely dreading it and my heart, which still hasn’t healed, will break all over again.

Please be kind to yourself, you were there with her at the end and she will have felt loved and safe, you couldn’t give her any more than that. Give yourself time to grieve, talk about her when you are ready and gradually the sadness will start to give way to happy memories. It never leaves you, but it does get easier. We are a year and 4 months on now and can talk about our boy and smile and laugh at memories of his antics again. The dc and I often look through his photo album and videos, so his memory is well and truly alive in our household.

Take it at your own pace and you will find your a way through it that feels right for you.

Sending much love and light to you and your family. xx

OP this is heartbreaking, I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been there and the pain takes a long time to heal. God bless you both

I'm so sorry lovely, your beautiful pooch was loved, it sounds like she had THE best life with you up until the end.
For all the joy in having a pet sadly one day it will be that we have to say goodbye to them
Just take one day at a time
Remember her funny little quirks, because they all have their own personalities
Talk about her with your children
Sending you love & hugs

Thank you everyone, it’s so sad reading all of your stories and how a lot of you have had such a similar experience. I went for a walk last night that same way we walked the night she passed, I was dreading seeing any other dog owners and them ask where my dog was but thankfully I didn’t see anyone at all. I am glad, in a way, that she went as quickly as she did and it wasn’t at the vets, i do think that would have broken me even more by doing it that way. I just really hope that when I noticed her breathing had changed and she couldn’t look at me, I really hope that when I picked her up that she knew I was holding her in those final moments, her head was flopping I so worry she was already gone but her heart was still beating at that point and I’d really have liked it better if she knew I was holding her, I was less than 3ft away the whole time before this so I’m sure she knew I was very nearby but I wish really wish she knew I had picked her up and held her in my arms while she slipped away.

I'm so sorry that you're suffering such grief right now, it will pass in time and you'll have happier memories of your lovely dog.

Also, I'm sitting here with my 12 and 8yr old dogs and I really hope I have the same experience with them that you just did with yours - it's awful for you when you lose them, wherever or however, but the way your girl just died was the best way for her.