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The doghouse

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Original poster

My dog died in my arms unexpectedly and I’m not doing too good

109 replies

Nikki037297 · 25/10/2021 09:10

Over the weekend we went out for a walk. When we got home my dog was very tired, she was 11, she settled on the rug in the living room but tried to get up and her back legs wouldn’t work, I assumed she was very tired and just needed a rest, I put her on the sofa and had a blanket down for her to lay on, she settled and seamed ok, I looked over a few minuets later and her breathing seamed very fast but faint, I went immediately over to her and spoke to her but she couldn’t look at me, her eyes were open but not focusing, I tried to move her to see if that got her attention maybe she was falling asleep, her head flopped right back and she didn’t response, I panicked and picked her up, her head was flopping all over, I held her like a baby and I could feel her chest with one hand and her heart was beating, I shouted of my partner to cal the vet, she started to take gasps of breath every 30 seconds or so and no breathing inbetween, her heart just stopped beating and the gasps stopped before my partner had even managed to get through to the vet they have a long message you have to listen to about the covid, but I don’t suppose it would have made any difference if he had of spoken to a vet, after this her pupils just went huge to the size of her eyes and there was nothing she was just gone. I’m not sleeping very well, I feel very down. Wondering why I didn’t spot the signs earlier if there was any, which now I look back there was things that day that were off like her not barking at the postman or greeting the other dogs on our walk. I don’t know how to get
Myself out of this mood or when it wills pass. Iv had my dog since she was a tiny puppy and have spent every day of 11 years with her except when we have went abroad and left her with family. She was such a huge part of our family and she’s just gone so quickly. Iv never lost a pet before I did when I was a young child but I don’t really remember much about it as I was young and I do remember my mum being heart broken saying she would never have another dog. Is what I’m feeling normal?

OP posts:
ChocolateDeficitDisorder · 26/10/2021 09:53

She would absolutely have known that you were there. She would have been aware of your scent and of being held. Don't worry about that.

Motorina · 26/10/2021 10:04

She knew. She would have smelled you and been able to hear your presence and your breathing. She knew she was loved and that the person she loved most was holding her.

PermanentlyDizzy · 26/10/2021 13:47

She knew you were there and your presence will have given her comfort. x

Original poster
Nikki037297 · 26/10/2021 18:10

Thank you everyone I really hope she did as that would make me feel so much better to know she wasn’t alone even though I was 3ft away from her. My children are deeply upset and we have all been looking at pictures of her and videos, they haven’t spoken of her as much today and I haven’t cried today where as yesterday it just kept happening and I just wanted to be alone to let it all out most of the day. Iv never felt such heartache before and never imagined I would.

OP posts:
ineedaholidayandwine · 26/10/2021 19:14

I'm back in your position OP, my cat passed away today, thankfully i was with her rather than her be at the vet, it was peaceful, unlike you i was expecting it, doesn't make it easier to process 😭
I hope your all doing a little better today.

FFSFFSFFS · 26/10/2021 19:20

Oh I’m so sorry.

But if it helps it really was a lovely way for her Tom pass - no long suffering and safe and cosy at home xxxx

ineedaholidayandwine · 26/10/2021 19:40

@FFSFFSFFS

Oh I’m so sorry.

But if it helps it really was a lovely way for her Tom pass - no long suffering and safe and cosy at home xxxx

Thank you, it was the nicest way for her to go.
Toastytoads · 26/10/2021 19:42

Ou 11yr old Lab passed away today OP. I'm in absolute peices and feel bereft. Sorry you going through this x

Skyla2005 · 26/10/2021 19:59

It really is the hardest thing about having a dog. We love them so much it's unbearable when they go. But the love can not be described it's somethings only us can understand. They are here for a short time. We love them we give the best life possible then we have to let them go. Our first girl was only seven and it broke our hearts. We rescued a stray to heal the pain and gradually fell in love with him too. Now he has a life limiting condition so probably we will have to say goodbye to him before another year But we have given him a new life full of love and he will go knowing he is loved. We will all be broken again but the love and joy he has given us is immeasurable. It does get easier take each day at a time and know your lovely dog had the best life with you x

YesIDoLoveCrisps · 26/10/2021 20:05

@Toastytoads

Ou 11yr old Lab passed away today OP. I'm in absolute peices and feel bereft. Sorry you going through this x
Hugs @Toastytoads Flowers
Craftycorvid · 26/10/2021 20:12

So sorry, OP. It’s so tough losing a cherished friend and so unexpectedly. It sounds like there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome for your dog. I don’t know for sure, but if dogs are similar to humans, when close to the end of life breathing patterns change; it doesn’t imply your dear dog was in any pain. As others have said, what a lovely death to have just enjoyed an autumn walk and then to be held by a loved person. I realise that’s not going to necessarily console you right now but it will. Look after yourself. Flowers

ivfbabymomma1 · 26/10/2021 20:16

I'm so so sorry OP! I understand your pain, I lost my beautiful chihuahua a few months back and I still have teary moments.

Whats her name? I'll tell my dog Minnie to keep an eye on her x

moveblues · 27/10/2021 08:31

@Nikki037297

Thank you again everyone. I do hope in time I can overcome this. I don’t know what was happening with the gasps of breath but it scared me as did all the rest of it and I keep going over it all in my head
This is painful, I know. The world feels bleaker now, and your brain is trying its best to help you process this, so it will replay these moments. It's important that your brain does this for you even though it hurts like hell. Your mind will go over the things you could have (but couldn't have..) spotted. That's normal in this situation. It hurts like hell but your brain is doing what it was built to.

It's a lot of effort and hurt so try to give yourself kindness and time (if you can), using things you find enriching (warm baths, nice food, whatever relaxes you). This may not take the feelings away, and that's normal.

With time the feelings and thoughts will be consolidated and you'll have a different view. I promise this. You'll remember it but it won't hurt like it does now, because your brain is doing the work on that just now. Later on there'll be a more rounded view of how lovely your dogs life was with you. But right now isn't then. It hurts now. Take your time.

moveblues · 27/10/2021 08:34

Just some helpful things I've collected over the years

My dog died in my arms unexpectedly and I’m not doing too good
My dog died in my arms unexpectedly and I’m not doing too good
Original poster
Nikki037297 · 27/10/2021 08:35

Thank you everyone. I’m so sorry for the people who have mentioned they are going through this too, it’s such a hard time and I feel for you all. I dreamt of her Last night, of her being young and playful, I woke up at 1am thinking the last few days had all been a bad dream, but I soon realised they hadn’t and they were true. Her name was Lola, I have added some pictures of her, one from when I first got her all those years ago and two from very recently, she was such a beautiful animal

OP posts:
pumpkinpie01 · 27/10/2021 09:42

@Nikki037297 this is so sad to read , I have a massive lump in my throat . What an awful awful shock for you and your family . I know how you feel and it breaks your heart. Our lovely dog who was also 11 had to be pts in the first lock down , we had no warning she wasn't well at all until one morning she seemed to be breathing in her back and not her chest , turned out to be incurable cancer . We found out at 1pm and she was pts at 4 , we all raced to the vets to say goodbye. We had a few hours warning but you had none ,and that will take some time to process . Big hugs x

Skyla2005 · 27/10/2021 11:56

Have you thought about having her ashes at home. It brings us comfort as we put our dogs ashes in a ceramic pot and planted a small rose in there with her. She's on the decking so we can see her from the lounge and we have a little plaque with her name on She looks beautiful by the way hope you are ok it will get easier

Original poster
Nikki037297 · 27/10/2021 13:53

I was so terribly worried they would send me the wrong ashes and I’d never know, I worry about stupid things all of the time and always have. We already have buried her in our back garden and made it nice so we know we can always be near to her

OP posts:
FFSFFSFFS · 27/10/2021 14:09

Oh what a beautiful doggo - and she is radiating happiness and content in those pics. What a lucky pup to have had such a lovely life and to have been so loved xxxxx

WhiskyXray · 27/10/2021 14:14

I'm so sorry. There's no pain like it. Your heartbreak is normal and a tribute to your lovely, lovely dog.

As PP said, she died at home in your arms after a lovely day. In time, you will be able to take comfort in the manner of her passing.

My condolences.Flowers

WhiskyXray · 27/10/2021 14:14

P.S. Lola was beautiful.

bunnybuggs · 27/10/2021 14:45

I am so sorry this happened to you. I lost my 10 year old dog last October - almost exactly a year ago. She had been a bit off for a few days and I had arranged an appointment at the vets for the Friday. She went very quiet and wanted me to sit and stroke her that day -so I did that . For the appointment I loaded her in the back of the car and drove the 5 minutes down the road to the vets. She died in the car while I was not holding her or helping her.
I was so shocked and felt guilty I had not left 5 minutes sooner then she would have known I was there -( she hated being in the car) and I could have said goodbye.
Because of Covid I could not even sit with her in the vets - they just took her away
It is heartrending and I have so much sympathy for you - there is no easy way to forget what happened. I am sure your dog knew she was loved throughout her life. Flowers Sad

PermanentlyDizzy · 27/10/2021 14:50

She was beautiful. Such a sweet face and so contented in those photos.

I dreamed of my boy a lot in the days/weeks afterwards, always him being young, healthy and happy again. I also heard the jingle of his collar/tags at different times and put it down to being overwrought and exhausted. I’m not sure if this will help you at all but, while struggling to sleep, I happened across Danielle MacKinnon on YouTube. She has lots of videos on pet loss, processing and ‘signs’. She might be a bit ‘woo’ for some people, although she’s very down to earth for someone in her field, but I found her videos really comforting and they did help me process and find some peace.

Forestcantrun · 27/10/2021 14:54

I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved dog. I cannot even bear to think of life without my dog, they are such important family members.
I agree with PP though. From a dogs perspective she had such a lovely walk then died in the arms of the person she loved Flowers

santabetterwashhishands · 27/10/2021 15:07

Sorry for your loss but it sounds as though it was just her time to go and she was with you at the end x it would have been much more stressful for her rushing to the vets and being examined so try take a little comfort knowing she was in her family home with her favourite people x