Puppy survival thread. Oct/Nov fireworks!

[sandwiches77]

New thread...

Since it wasn’t a playful nip and your pup is a bit older, I would be extra vigilant for a while and separate DD and pup as needed. But there is no way I would consider rehoming a puppy based on the incident you described.

(My puppy is currently still in the “nipping as invitation to play” stage, though I hope he grows out of it soon.)

I hope your DH will realise that he is overreacting @Aria20.

Aria20 a horrible situation for you.
Hopefully, given a bit of time, it will all calm down.
Hope you're ok.

He said he hasn't changed his opinion. I feel so shit. I feel like I've failed at everything. Ive always tried so hard to be a good mum, wife and now a good puppy owner, I felt like I'd done everything right with the puppy and she's so sweet and lovely she doesn't deserve to be sent away. he's such a prick

@Aria20 I have PM’d you

@Aria20 it doesn't sound to me as though you have failed at anything. I'm sorry your DH is being so unreasonable. But (in my opinion) he doesn't have the right to make a unilateral decision about a puppy that you as a family have made a lifelong commitment to. It's unfair to the pup and to you and your DC. So sorry you're dealing with this situation.

@Aria20 take some time to think things through. Don't lose your confiidence in the pup. I think the consequences of getting rid of a loved animal will ripple through the family longer than a warning nip.

Yep, absolutely agree with @MakeMeCleanTheHouse. The consequences for me of being railroaded like that would completely undermine my respect for my husband. I've supported his hobby based dreams for years, and if he can't do the same for me with the dog then it tells me a lot about the give/take balance in the relationship.

At the very least DH needs to be going to puppy classes or behaviourist with you and the dog to work this through before you make such a big decision.

How are the pups managing with the trick or treaters? Billy thinks everyone is coming to visit him 😂.

Mine's been out with us in his dinosaur outfit!!

@Aria20 sorry your DH isn’t seeing sense. Mine is still a reluctant owner and blamed the dog for me being ill the last 6 weeks. Nothing to do with his poor mental health, my full on job, COVID pandemic, or horrible kids development phases over the last 18 months… just the dog 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

@GuyFawkesDay that is adorable. I took pup out with her flashing collar and the kids tonight, she was a bit confused seeing so many people out and about and all the spooky decorations! She's fast asleep now. Shame DH is still being a dickhead and I don't see it changing...

@Aria20 maybe an honest conversation needs to be had, you will consider it but only when behaviourist has been called in etc.

But also make it clear what effect his actions are having. I had to do it with DH and he's far better now. Acknowledged that I'd supported his dreams and he is doing the same for me now

You are all making me really value my dog loving tolerant husband.

@LadyCatStark we’ve just reached peak barking and getting spooked again by stuff so I sent the kids out with friends and we turned the lights off and closed the curtains and it was bliss 🤣

This is the dog who was never coming on the sofa

haha!
Bit like mine who was never sleeping in our bedroom!
Lovely dog training class tonight, only one left and only 3 of us there. I've really like the classes.

Hi, I have not been on for a while so just checking in. Aria20 I am so sorry to hear what’s going on. I think unfortunately with it being on the face this makes it seem worse. Did she snarl at all or bare teeth? Turquoisepup can sometimes look uncomfortable with my youngest and does the occasional air snap she did it the other day when he was basically following her around kitchen wanting to stroke her. I have had to make a rule that if the kids want to speak to or stroke dog they need to sit on a chair and call her to them. This way the dog has more choice. It has really helped. But then mine are a bit older so not sure how easy this is for 4 year old.

I also keep her only in kitchen. We do have a small sofa there. I don’t like having her in lounge where I can’t always closely supervise.

Hi Aria20 how are things this morning?

@Turquoisesol that's a good idea of calling the dog over so she has the choice. There was no warning that I noticed eg lip licking yawning etc and no growl. She has growled before but not on this occasion. It was my fault for not stopping the play sooner though. Dd tried to cover her with the blanket and she obv felt threatened or trapped.

I don't think keeping her in the kitchen all the time would be an option here as she is very much a people dog and would hate to be left out there alone and would prob bark or howl in distress. Our kitchen has no space for a sofa and is cold tiled floor so not exactly comfortable for me to sit out there to spend long periods of time in. I do separate them by a gate across the kitchen at times though if dd is playing with something in one of the rooms that dog can't have etc but it's only for short periods.

It’s a really difficult situation you are in. I am not sure what it means if there is no growl or any kind of warning first. Perhaps it was less aggressive, and more a warning nip went wrong? But kind of hard for you to see that coming.

It’s really made a big difference to us to say the dog has to be called to you not the other way around. Sometimes the kids would come in and insist they wanted to say hello and stroke the dog. I could tell she wasn’t in the mood and say “not just now” and my youngest would get moody with me and say I wasn’t letting him stroke dog and older ds had just played with her why couldnt I etc. So now it’s no longer my decision but the dogs decision and he can’t argue with that. If he sits down and calls her over and she doesn’t want to come say hello he has to accept that. It’s not completely fool proof as the interaction can still go wrong, but it helps a lot because she starts off in the right mood at least.

@BaconAndAvocado were not really talking so tense and miserable!

Aria20
So sorry to hear that. Awful for you.

Apologies if it's already been mentioned, but have you considered getting a behaviourist in to make some suggestions?
Then you're doing something proactive to try and improve your situation.
When I say "situation", it sounds like it was a one off ?
Maybe a behaviourist would assess your dog's general behaviour and be able to confirm that the j cider was very out of character?

I know very little about pups and dogs but maybe it's an avenue to explore.

Sending you lots of support and understanding

@Aria20 oh no, that sounds awful - your DH I mean, not the dog nip. Sounds totally predictable to me, she is in season, and had something put over her head. Completely understandable she nipped. Not nice and I'm sure a behaviourist could give you some reassurance and tips but it sounds to me that you're absolutely on it. Definitely not a rehoming offence, to me.
It does sound as if your DH is just looking for any excuse to punish you, and to get rid of the dog :( I'm on my own now - and it is sooooooo much easier - but I can absolutely see that my ex would have reacted exactly like this.