I don't like my puppy

[Cait73]

And I hate myself - she's taken over my life I know puppies do (okay I forgot it's been 12 years) and she's a dear little thing but the biting, chewing, training, eating schedule and endless trips to the garden just to come in and find a poo on the rug

I'm exhausted all the time - I don't feel like I love her is this normal? I'm really hoping someone will tell me it's too soon I've only had her 5 weeks and the love will grow?

All I remember is I loved my last dog from the second he arrived and I didn't even care how much work he was, I loved every inch of him every second of the day

Why don't I feel like that??

@dustofneptune thank you for (another) very helpful response yes I already have a few people in mind who I think would love puppy if it doesn't work out

No one in this house has a routine and therein lies the problem. Things have been highly chaotic the last year or so but settled down now so something I need to address, for toddler, puppy not to mention my sanity.

I basically need to decide if I'm going to do this and if so pull my big girl pants up and DO IT nothing is impossible I'm just tired, stressed out and ache in places I didn't know I had

Thank you again for your thoughts I really appreciate it

Definitely worth persevering , the toddler won’t be a toddler for long and the dog will calm down and probably be very good for him in the longer term .

@Floralnomad as if you're reading my mind; I'm trying to focus on the end game; a happy healthy child and a bouncing well adjusted dog who will also be my companion

I don't go out (not just coz of toddler I like being on my own) but I love walking and being outdoors, so does the small person in my life

I want this to work very much, it's been a rough couple of weeks with the sickness bug but I'm going to try to pull it back now

@Cait73 What size is she supposed to be when fully formed? Do you give her nature's menu wet food/dry food or their raw food brand? What breed of dog is she? I tried to look but couldn't see if you had stated that anywhere from the looks of it she's a Cockapoo, is that right? With the nature's menu and cheese treats I'd say that these were high rewards so have you got basic treats just so that she isn't getting used to high rewards for basic things?

When you walk her is it on a lead? I'd say do the 15 minutes in the morning and then for your longer walk if you could incorporate some training while doing it or get a ball and use that to throw around a little bit with her for 10 minutes or so. Have you started to work on recall with her? Now would probably be a good time to do that in a secure area or get a long lead.

Have you got an area where you could put a small play pen? This might help when you are cooking just so that your able to separate from her when she's doing that. I wouldn't leave the 2 year old with her while she's still in that nipping stage or have you got something else that you'd be able to give her? Honestly, I couldn't recommend a Kong toy enough, I've been given mine them since they were very small and that really occupies them and then again it's giving them mental stimulation as well. Start of with putting small treats in it, eventually you can start giving her peanut butter which might help with the biting because to me it sounds like she's just teething more than anything.

Ahh this is a hard one when it comes to the toddler because from experience kids can become way too hyper around dogs and that just sets the dog off, it's not anyone's fault necessarily but I think you need to be firm with the kid - if he's doing something that's winding the dog up then he needs to be told to stop, your putting the dog in a time out for something that's out of her control and she's getting punished for something that she wouldn't do if it wasn't for the toddler. I know it's hard because a child is a child and a puppy is a puppy, obviously but the puppy doesn't know any better and it's unfair to discipline it because the toddler is the one who's winding it up. You say when she goes into the crate she knows that she needs to calm down until she can get back out again but paces around a couple of times, this is probably due to her being agitated that she's been put in the crate to calm down but she wouldn't be like that if she hadn't got irritated my the toddler. She's also seeing this crate as where she goes when she's 'bad' and that's probably why she isn't wanting to sleep in there. They say that you need to make the crate like a haven for them, a safe space to go when things get too much for them or if they just want a rest so try and reintroduce the crate as being a positive thing and not negative, that's probably why she's liking sleeping with you so much which I can understand it does get annoying when you want your own space.

Try the toilet training again - you've got this! Honestly once she get's the hang of it that she needs to do it outside then it'll go swimmingly. Try and start from basics again, if you feed her then expect her to need a toilet within the first hour I'd say since she's so small her digestive system will be quicker. Have you just went outside and walked around the garden? Don't go back in the house until she's had a toilet, I know that it can take a long time 😂 but as soon as you see her having a toilet, click and reward. Honestly I can't recommend a clicker enough so do get one. When your outside with her just act disinterested in what she's doing, if she knows your waiting for her to have a toilet then she probably won't go, it's weird dog's sense these kinds of things and it can sometimes make you pull your hair out but you just need to walk around the garden or sit on a chair and just let her do her own thing, she'll get there eventually.

This is why I never have kittens any more, I know we're talking about dogs but any baby animal is bloody hard work. I always prefer to adopt adult animals.

@conall NO idea predicted adult weight (bloody cross breeds!) Mum is 10kg shihtzu x bischon Dad is 12kg shihtzu

She's the smallest of the litter but at 12 weeks she's a decent 3kgs

Natures Menu wet (pouch) because she was on Asda's finest I thought this (wet) would be an easy transition, do you think she'd do better on dry? She's hungry all the time polishes off all her food I don't anticipate a problem changing her

@conall tried a Kong when she first arrived zero interest will reintroduce

The morning walk is with toddler and she's always on a lead, walks well afternoon walk is just me and training line in nearby field, only used line twice so in progress

@conall YES she's not actually biting it's teething and mouthing there's very little actual biting going on, she's caught me a few times but it's rare

@conall finally (I promise) I know what I've done putting her in the crate at completely the wrong time poor love and I have considered putting the little man in but I've just got rid of social services hahahahahahahaha

I've only done it twice because I felt things had become dangerous and quick thinking isn't my forte but I 100% accept it sent all the wrong signals to puppy AND small person

I did have a talk with small person tonight I explained as best I could that I know he loves the puppy but he's hurting her by getting her excited because it gets her into trouble, he really loves her - hopefully he'll get it?

@conall I lied, LAST THING; I found a clicker!!!

For the biting try to have a long toy to hand you can shove in her mouth to play tug with. If you have some old towels you can cut them into long strips and plait them, then keep it on hand so when she starts, get her to grab the middle of the toy and you hold either end and play. She’s tiny so probably would get a couple of good size toys out of an old bath towel.

Carrots are a handy distraction for teething! Especially if very cold

I'd maybe do a mix of wet and dry if I'm honest. That's when you'll need to do some maths on how much the dog should be eating a day. I've just done a quick Google search and it says that at her current weight she should be on is

(4kg)
2-3 months (110 – 220g)
4-5 months(90 – 160g)
6-8 months (60 – 110g)

I couldn't find one that was specifically for 3kg but I think if you done it by the 2kg option then she wouldn't be getting fed enough. So you want to feed her 2-3 times a day so 1/3 or 1/2 it depending on how many times so say you get a wet pouch and you decide you want to feed her the max then that's 220g a day she's allowed, if you feed her 3 times a day that's 73g per meal so you could do 30g of biscuits and 43g of wet food per meal time or mix it however you want that's up to you.

Try put something in a Kong like cheese, you just need to give her something that's going to keep her occupied and interested in it. I'd say give her peanut butter frozen in a Kong purely because it's cold and that'll help with teething because it's help teeth not be so sore.

@Cait73 Ah I know it's difficult honestly but when he starts doing it again, break up the situation and get him to stop it instead of punishing her. I know it's hard because a quick reaction is oh no I don't want the dog to nip the toddler which I know is obviously the main priority you don't want him getting hurt but I think if there is boundaries in place for both of them then they'll eventually get into the way of how things are needing to be done. Whenever he does it from now on, step in immediately because that's teaching him that's it not OK but it's also teaching the dog the same thing.

Glad you found a clicker! Use this constantly. Every single thing she does from now on you click and reward. Have treats on you at all times. Start training her to do sit, lie down, etc. like I said I think another problem is she isn't getting enough stimulation that she needs something to make her tired and teaching these early is a good thing as well. Command done right, click, reward and that's it. If she doesn't do it right then don't reward her or click and make her do it again. You've got this honestly! She'll be a different puppy in a couple of weeks if you stick to a schedule with her. I can honestly just imagine how hard all this must be for you and I totally understand that but hey, she might be the thing that your needing once she gets into a routine and starts getting all her energy out, I'm sure then she'll be a great dog!

Having just got a puppy with a toddler even younger than yours, I would agree with those suggesting a playpen. I blocked off a section of the room with an old playpen and put (open) crate, toys etc there, so toddler couldn’t reach puppy when she was sleeping. Don’t think I could have done it without it.

@Cait73 if you are not already on one have a look at the puppy survival thread on here as everyone is in the same boat and it’s a good place to have a good vent without people like me interfering !

What a cutie!

@Puppalicious my toddler will scale any pen or gate in his way, even 6 months younger I'd have been better off 2.5 is lethal

@Floralnomad you are not interfering I asked

Clicker training isn't going well; I have to take the puppy out on a lead to stop her eating slugs, so I've got lead, poo bag, torch, clicker and treats

All impossible to co ordinate

Inside isn't much easier, she's attacking my trousers while I'm washing up I say DOWN which she does but clicker and treats are nowhere in sight (hands in washing up bowl)

I’m not co-ordinated enough to use just a clicker - I do use them, but for specific things... I use a word instead, primed exactly the same way as you would the clicker, some people use yes... I use good just because I find it comes out quicker.

Once you’ve associated the word or clicker or whatever marker you’re using, you don’t need the treat in hand, you can go get it, they know it’s coming

You sound like you are doing amazingly, with a 2 year old and a puppy.

The thing with a clicker (and I could never get on with one either!) is you have to “charge” it first so the puppy associates the click with an “oh, right, I did a good thing!” You can do this just as easily with a trigger word as above “yes! Good!” So have her in front of you, say “yes!/good!/right!” and give her a treat. She should quickly start to associate the two.

One thing that is often recommended is to fill a pot with 30 treats (could be some of her dry food allowance, but something she definitely likes) and try to catch her doing good things. Have a pot in each room (could you have one over the sink so you can grab a treat to reward when she gets down?) and try to end the day with it empty. The more rewards she gets for good stuff the more likely she will hopefully be to repeat it.

There’s a great, great resource on Facebook if you’re on there - read the units on puppies and you’ll be off to a flying start. www.facebook.com/groups/374160792599484/?ref=share

If you prefer videos, Kikopup on YouTube has lots and lots about clicker training (but it doesn’t have to be the clicker, it can be your trigger word) and also on “positive interruptions” and “capturing calm”

@GingerAndTheBiscuits the 2 year old helps himself to treats if I leave them around

God my life's SO complicated lol

We kept them up on mantelpieces and cupboards (as ours was a big lanky dog who could reach everywhere low down)

Another option is something that clips to your waistband? Like these but there’s probably cheaper ones available www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B07C4V2GG3?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Or you can get ones with straps that clip around your waist.