Tell me about the time your dog was a knob

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I need cheering up I've just had my second molar pregnancy and now I need chemo so

I'll go first...

Dog 1.. ate 37p, a Lego action man and a child's hulk sock on a walk with a new dog Walker after I said he wore a muzzle because he eats shit constantly, she thought she knew better and took it off him and let him
Off the lead, told me his recall was recall was perfect and he played really nicely with her other dog charges..: yes I know he's good with other dogs and his recall is perfect.. he wore a muzzle because he's not to be trusted around litter!! He needed an operation to remove the items (that the dog Walker paid for) and then he refused to walk up 1 flight of stairs on our holiday we rearranged and paid £120+ extra to make sure he could come so my lovely DH carried him up stairs and then he jumped on the bed happy as Larry!

Then when we went to get his stitches out he chewed off the vets shoe lace whilst he was talking to DH about Star Wars (the vet not the dog)

Another time he ate a whole bowl of bread dough that was proofing nicely, he then puked it up on the only bit of carpet we had at the time. 8 hour later I get a call the dog is acting 'odd' so we went to the vet after I finished work. He was walking funny and banging into things. The vet said he was drunk on the yeast from the Bread dough and he made the wall of shame at the vet for the second time🤦‍♀️

Dog 2 ate a whole bottle of loxicom whilst dog 1 was at the vet... 4 days at the vet on iv fluids plus induced vomiting and £300 later she was pronounced fine 🤦‍♀️

Photo attached is my dog on 'my dog is a twat''s Facebook page

Oh my dog ate:

A dozen mince pies
A whole rotisserie chicken
Numerous boxes of milk tray
The bin as often as she could
And inhaled a polystyrene bean bag ball which cost £700 to remove a week after her insurance expired.....
And one of the first times I walked her without my OH, the dog did a runner and it took ages to get her back...

We had her PTS 18 months ago and I do miss her sometimes!

Your dog is hilarious.

Mine is also a twat, who has also appeared on that FB page, however yours takes the (dog) biscuit!

Here she is, the little shit darling...

@Blueuggboots aww I love beagles! I thought Hugo was beagle but we had his dna checked and he was corgi x Lab x border terrier complete mongrel basically, his mum was apparently lab x whippet.. Hugo did not inherit any whippet and maybe only the appetite of a lab ..

He was my dog before I met DH.. We moved in together and Hugo came with me as a package deal (lucky DH) the week after I moved in with DH I went out on a night out with my friends leaving The two of them together and he ate 3 packages of dentastix because DH left them in his ruck sack and went for a shower and Hugo thought they were fair game. Then he puked them up and DH text me to say he'd been sick..

Whelp! You were in charge you deal with it! He's your dog too now!

Have a young dog and 2 indoor cats. Doggo likes to chase the cats because she thinks shes playing. Cats dont mind all the time and occasionally play back. Stupid cat did the blind panic run of terror because DP knocked the chair, cat smashed across my face and moved my nose to the other side of my head. Dog thought cat was playing so chased her, which caused cat to run across my face again, tearing it up. So i had blood pouring out one side and a very very bruised nose. My dog and cats are knobs.

Precious dog (Bear, aka Stupid) ate an entire tube of petroleum based post tattoo cream. I called the manufacturers helpline to ask what I should do (did he need the vet etc) and after they established he was 55kgs of stupid they burst out laughing. Eventually they managed to wheeze out that I needed to get him outside ASAP, get the hose ready and call the vet if he started getting dehydrated. OMG - he covered the patio in explosive shits for hours! He was of course fine.

Same dog one Easter Sunday got bitten on his penis (while it was out of the sheath) by a green ant. He had to be sedated by the vet and have the foreskin snipped so the penis would retract again. Massive vet bill and a very stoned dog. He was an amazing dog and we really miss him, cancer is a bitch.

Our bitch is really sneaky - she’ll run up the front door barking and get the boys to follow then run back quick and steal their food. There’s never s as nylons st the door but the boys aren’t that bright and fall for it every time.

Pretending she just found the trampoline like that.......

Photo won't load- are all the netting off the trampoline and then slept in the wreckage....

Ate the kitchen floor, then when that was replaced he chewed that. Chewed the side of the work top. Ripped open the sawdust bag sawdust every where. Dug holes in the garden. Ripped some if the grass up, ate half a bag of his food.

My old Foster dog once gnawed my kitchen wall, right into the brick.
He also stole a bag of mixed Berry smoothie mix and ate/rolled around it them, before falling asleep in the middle of the kitchen floor. When I walked in and found him, he looked like a horror movie victim!

Labs will eat anything

My generally amenable and impeccably behaved St. Bernard was not happy with her injections and decided not to get in the car after a visit to the vets. Fell flat to the floor in the car park and refused to move.
Said dog weighs 75 kg.
Various vets and nurses had the pleasure of admiring the dog and practicing their special techniques on her as different methods of cajoling were applied.
I learnt that a lot of traffic goes in and out of a vets practice over the course of 25 minutes.

The reason I’m up now is that we thought we heard burglar. I went down with baseball bat and 999 ready to dial on phone. All quiet, dog curled up quietly in bed. Then I noticed study door had been pushed open. Dog had tiptoed in (no claw clacking or we would have known sounds were not burglar!) and eaten a large xmas choc kitten. It was wrapped in hard shell plastic and must have been hell to rip open. Luckily choc was hollow. He been planning too bc he waited till we were all asleep. He has in the past eaten boxes of after eights wrapped under tree, two advent calendars inc wrapping and loads of dog shit when out on walks- his own, anyone else’s etc. Grrrr. But he’s adorable.

I’ve got a lab and I let him off lead as no one seemed to be around. Then we came across two teens completely oblivious, getting a little amorous and my dog decided to join in with the kissing luckily they found it hilarious. We made a swift and apologetic exit!

My lab once did the raw pizza dough thing. Only it was from a black bin liner full of dough that my daughter had bought home from the pizza restaurant she worked at that was closing down. No idea what she was going to do with it.
I kept an eye on him overnight and he was ok, so I went to bed.
Got up to explosive diarrhoea all through our open plan lounge, dining, kitchen, down the stairs and in the hall. Smelled like yeast.
His abdomen was so distended from the dough fermenting, he could barely move.
Took him to the vet and he was ok after some antiemetic and antu diarrhoea tablets. Luckily he wasn’t drunk from the fermentation. Hi
Whenever i smell yeast or fresh dough now, I have a flashback.

suzi88 my dog does similar, I live near a private woodland where the local teens like to sneak into on a weekend afternoon. I've lost count of the amount of couples my dog has disturbed by bounding over and sticking his head between them. Myself and the land owner joke he is single handedly halving teen pregnancy, although thankfully we've never discovered them up to anymore than kissing.

@Foresttheout lol!

My eejit collie interrupted a proposal once after rolling in a dead seagull. I didn't have my glasses on so didn't twig what was happening until he popped up between their outstretched hands waiting to be fussed.

Decided to eat a pack of blue biros on my MIL’s couch. The couch (beige) and his face ,which is white, were both stained blue. He also chewed a hole in the same couch and removed a large amount of the stuffing. Chewed a hole in her wall too... This all happened before I knew DH. He eventually crate trained the dog for his own safety as he couldn’t be trusted. He’s 9 now and finds other ways to be a twat. Hovering out of sight and barking loudly when I am carrying a large tray of oven chips so hat I jump and drop them all whereupon he quickly gobbles them up. Can’t have him come up on the furniture because he uses it as a vantage point to bark at nothing in the quiet street outside and wake up the baby etc.

Hugo has run over to a couple having sec behind a tree and completely ruined their fun. Had to drag him off

Too many stories of ridiculous food and scavenging to mention (plus some of her classics are insanely outing). But her current most knob-like behaviour is....

If the bedroom door (where I work, full time, from home) is open, she will happily snooze on the bed keeping me company. If I close the door because of the endless calls and/or because DH and DC are making too much noise, she will immediately want to go out. 15 seconds later, she will scratch to come back in. Basically, she thinks it's completely unacceptable to close the door and will do whatever she has to in order to ensure I leave it open.

Knob.

My knob dog is currently in the garden collating and building a pyramid out of her own shit!😱 She ain’t coming in for a while!🤣

@MrsElijahMikaelson1 oh no! 😂 I had to wash our other dog off at 3am when she rolled in a rotting fish head 🤮 she had maggots in her ear

These are so funny!! Ddog (RIP) once stole a whole slice of Victoria sponge, it was so funny cos she was usually such a good girl and she liked a good old roll in fox shit.

Dpup is so funny, nicks anything he can get his gob on, shows you and then trots off proud as punch and hides behind the sofa.
His newest one is doing a very good impression of the andrex puppy with toilet roll, I have to remember not to put it on the holder to stop him and i think the funniest was when he stole my bright green feather duster and clearly couldn't fit behind the couch and just stood there with it in his gob. I love him so much!

My labradoodle is a bellend. She's definitely got lab in her. She has eaten the contents of two chocolate advent calendars on 1st December, stolen and eaten 3/4 of an apple and blackberry cake, chewed the windowsill, chewed the sofa.

She will literally eat anything. Everything in my house now has to be kept above 5ft.

I've had to get a bin that goes in a cupboard because she worked out how to open the push button bin.