Tell me about the time your dog was a knob

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I need cheering up I've just had my second molar pregnancy and now I need chemo so

I'll go first...

Dog 1.. ate 37p, a Lego action man and a child's hulk sock on a walk with a new dog Walker after I said he wore a muzzle because he eats shit constantly, she thought she knew better and took it off him and let him
Off the lead, told me his recall was recall was perfect and he played really nicely with her other dog charges..: yes I know he's good with other dogs and his recall is perfect.. he wore a muzzle because he's not to be trusted around litter!! He needed an operation to remove the items (that the dog Walker paid for) and then he refused to walk up 1 flight of stairs on our holiday we rearranged and paid £120+ extra to make sure he could come so my lovely DH carried him up stairs and then he jumped on the bed happy as Larry!

Then when we went to get his stitches out he chewed off the vets shoe lace whilst he was talking to DH about Star Wars (the vet not the dog)

Another time he ate a whole bowl of bread dough that was proofing nicely, he then puked it up on the only bit of carpet we had at the time. 8 hour later I get a call the dog is acting 'odd' so we went to the vet after I finished work. He was walking funny and banging into things. The vet said he was drunk on the yeast from the Bread dough and he made the wall of shame at the vet for the second time🤦‍♀️

Dog 2 ate a whole bottle of loxicom whilst dog 1 was at the vet... 4 days at the vet on iv fluids plus induced vomiting and £300 later she was pronounced fine 🤦‍♀️

Photo attached is my dog on 'my dog is a twat''s Facebook page

Hi @unravellingfast - I’m sorry I can’t help you as my dogs are of the non-shedding poodley variety! I’m sure there must be lots of people on here with room as and shedding dogs, maybe start a thread?

He will stand in the doorway, when she needs to go out for a wee, and she daren’t walk past him - or he waits until she’s outside, and then stops her getting back in, from the rain.

Mine does this too 🤣 just stands there with door open staring at the dog who's soaking wet and miserable but doesn't dare try and come inside!

@UnRavellingFast - I have a robot vacuum cleaner - not a Roomba (and I can't remember the make - sorry), and it is absolutely bob-useless. It gets stuck under things, and whines until you go and free it. Then it gets caught up on the edge of a rug, and whines some more. It can't get into corners, so you have to do those yourself, and then it can't find its way back to its charging station (which it is supposed to be able to do), so just dies in some far distant corner.

When I was a young teenager my, then, dog used to get so excited when my friends came over he would pee on their feet. It was mortifying.

We were asked to leave training classes because he would not do as asked and the trainer said he was beyond hope and needed to go out so he didn't ruin it for the rest of the (good) dogs.

Later on he came to uni with me. He once climbed up several bits of furniture to reach some chocolate placed on a high shelf. Ate it all then puked all over my house mate's new shoes.

Let me tell you: THAT was the best dog I've ever owned. It's been downhill ever since.

All dogs are arseholes in one way or another (ime) and it's some twisted sense of deep self loathing that means I love them (all) quite as much as I do.

Our 1yo Labradoodle steals things from the kitchen counter
He used to pull my 4yo's socks off and run away with them but thankfully has stopped that now!!!

Ohhh ddog also licked baby ds Willy when I was changing his nappy. I was horrified and haven't told anyone in real life 🙈

@Delphigirl

The day the dog crapped in the bedroom of my son (who had just gone to university) in the path of the oncoming roomba. The roomba spread dogshit all over his room. Apart from having to clean the carpets I had to take the roomba to pieces to clean it of about half a pound of dogshit

Poomageddon!!!

We've had that here too. Sometimes I still wake at night, screaming at the memory

We lived very very rurally when I was growing up and we had a mad yellow labrador. She was a saint in the house but very bad out.
Some walkers stopped to picnic in our garden, (they had no right to), Dog dashed out and hoovered up the entire picnic. They were not happy.
Another occasion she pinched a walkers hat and ran off with it. Thankfully they were very good about it (it wasn't in the garden) as it reminded them of their dog that had recently died.
She ate things rather than give them back, a sock, fabric, cast off snake skin, onion, a fruit cake, the living room floor. She had a cast iron digestive system.
We got a rescue dog to keep her company, little jack russell cross. She could fit through the cat flap and on the first night she nipped out, caught a pheasant and brought it back through two cat flaps. We didnt have the picnicking in the garden problem once we got the terrier as she would nip out through the cat flaps and bark at people.
One night we got home late and found a window open with blood on it, the would be burglar hadn't succeeded the dogs had kept them out.

My dog is seemingly angelic after reading these!!

@Delphigirl and @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius thank you for the feedback! Sounds like I need to stick to plug in bastard hoovers for a while yet.