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Furious.. Please tell me if I am in the wrong here

132 replies

HolyMolyMeOhMy · 06/09/2020 13:41

Just been to the park with our 2 dogs who are always kept on their leads. They are well behaved dogs but one of them has always been very nervous and he doesn’t like being approached by other dogs or people, especially if they get right in his face, and reacts by barking and chewing on his lead. The other one is ok but can often give the impression that he wants to play with other dogs but then change his mind in a second and start yapping. For this reason they are both always kept close to us on their leads.
A large dog off its lead just approached us and tried to get close to the dogs, so we pulled them away. The dog wouldn’t go away so my DH asked the owners if they could get hold of it it. They eventually managed to call it away after several attempts. DH then says that it should be on a lead, to which the woman responds that the majority of the dogs in the park are also off lead. I tried to politely explain to her that our dogs don’t particularly like other dogs, to which she replied “that’s not our problem, socialise your dogs then”.
I was furious that she said this! She has no idea of the reasons why my dogs are like that and in my opinion she was the one in the wrong by letting her dog go off approaching other people’s dogs, especially when they’re on leads. Our dogs were under control. Am I right to be annoyed by this? I am not normally an angry person but she honestly made me furious by saying this!
I am also not of the opinion that the dog should necessarily have been on a lead (like my DH told her it should have been) but I would at least expect her to keep it away from other dogs who are on leads.

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 07/09/2020 10:50

I can understand if you have one dog that is particularly grouchy towards other dogs.

But having both dogs nervous of other dogs I do think that is more to do with the owner than the dog.

I had a fairly medium sized dog who I would have been walking all day to get her tired out.

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead.

dontdisturbmenow · 07/09/2020 11:14

I just don't agree that it is acceptable for dogs to do that anywhere other than a designated doggy play area
Which don't exist in most areas. Any local parks or green areas will have many dogs, so going by some on this thread, all these happy, friendly dogs should be put in the lead the moment a dog on the lead walks there, even if that dog is on a lead for other reason than high anxiety around other dogs. This would much defeat the point of taking dogs somewhere where they can go off lead.

bounces up into my dog's personal space
Again, what's 'personal space'? Nose on bottom(totally agree), within a metre (disagree). OP said the dog approached, they pulled their dogs away, they asked the owner to call their dog and they finally did move away. So all good, OP took responsibility by keeping her dogs away and the owner called her dog which did come back. Is the crime that it took two attempts, most likely within a few seconds before the dog did come back that justifies being on the lead at all time incase a nervous dog walks about?

Newpuppyplanning · 07/09/2020 11:15

If all her dog did was run over to say hi and wasn't showing any aggression then no I don't think her dog does need to be on a lead. She did call him back and then collect him when he didn't comply. Dogs aren't robots. No one's dog has 100% recall. It's just bollocks. They're animals. I can see why it's annoying for you but I really wouldn't have said anything unless her dog was aggressive. We had a dog reactive dog and we just had to walk him at quieter times.

Wtfdoipick · 07/09/2020 11:16

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead.

quite easily, mental stimulation tires them out just as much as physical exercise. it's better if you can do both

BiteyShark · 07/09/2020 11:31

Tbh this is why I walk my dog in the countryside rather than in a park.

In the countryside I find most owners give each other a wide berth if they are training, practicing recall or have dogs that need space. When I have encountered someone and neither one of us has turned around because we don't need to the dogs either ignore each other or have a very quick sniff and on their way which is what you want.

In the park we have encountered the 'bully' dog where they bound up and jump on him and don't leave him alone and the owner either doesn't care or can't recall them back. In the countryside I have never encountered that behaviour hence that is where we now walk.

Borderstotheleftofme · 07/09/2020 11:33

@NewpuppyplanningShe did call him back and then collect him when he didn't comply

@dontdisturbmenowOP said the dog approached, they pulled their dogs away, they asked the owner to call their dog and they finally did move away. So all good

Are we reading the same post?!
OP said:

A large dog off its lead just approached us and tried to get close to the dogs, so we pulled them away
The dog wouldn’t go away so my DH asked the owners if they could get hold of it it
So not only is the dog one of these nightmares mentioned upthread that either cannot understand other dogs or chooses to ignore them but the owners actually had no intention whatsoever of calling their dog away!
They only did it because the OPs DH asked them too.
They eventually managed to call it away after several attempts
By which times the OPs dogs’ stress levels will be absolutely through the roof.

Several attempts is not good enough.
If it doesn’t come you go and get it as quick as you can and apologise profusely!

dontdisturbmenow · 07/09/2020 11:44

A large dog off its lead just approached us and tried to get close to the dogs
The key word here is TRIED. They took actions so it didn't.

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/09/2020 12:31

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead

quite easily, mental stimulation tires them out just as much as physical exercise. it's better if you can do both

Do you give them maths problems that they have to solve on their walk?

Or give them anagrams to solve?

A large dog off its lead just approached us and tried to get close to the dogs, so we pulled them away

I think pulling them away is just sending the signal that other dogs are dangerous.

More than likely the dog came over because they saw a couple of new dogs and thought they would be let off the leads and then they could run around together and play.

dontdisturbmenow · 07/09/2020 13:16

Out of curiosity do you have a harness/lead with nervous dog on it? It doesn't help with dogs running to them when their owners are further away, but I saw a dog with it a couple of weeks ago, and it alerted me to call my dog before he even started to approach it.

vanillandhoney · 07/09/2020 13:16

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead.

Training, brain games, mental stimulation. Toys like frozen kongs or puzzle games. Feed them out of slow feeders or snuffle mats. Take them on a long, slow sniffy walk and include games or training on the walk.

A dog being off-lead is a privilege, not a right. If you can't control your dog, keep them on a lead.

tabulahrasa · 07/09/2020 13:26

“I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead.”

It depends why they’re not off lead though...

The current foster isn’t off lead because of his health, last one had bad hips, the one before that just had some weird behavioural quirks.

The ones with health issues, they’re having to have their exercise restricted anyway, but they’re youngish and want to be active - so it’s always small walks and then lots of training, chewing or scent games to keep them busy.

The quirky one didn’t need his exercise restricting, just couldn’t be off-lead (had a couple of obsessions that meant he’d have disappeared) - walking 7 or 8 miles a day even on lead is a fair amount of exercise... so not a huge issue really, I mean I’m sure he’d have been more tired off lead, but I wasn’t particular needing to exhaust him, so it was fine.

stophuggingme · 07/09/2020 13:39

@Oliversmumsarmy

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead

quite easily, mental stimulation tires them out just as much as physical exercise. it's better if you can do both

Do you give them maths problems that they have to solve on their walk?

Or give them anagrams to solve?

A large dog off its lead just approached us and tried to get close to the dogs, so we pulled them away

I think pulling them away is just sending the signal that other dogs are dangerous.

More than likely the dog came over because they saw a couple of new dogs and thought they would be let off the leads and then they could run around together and play.

It’s possible to tire a dog without being off lead Decent long walks on a lead in different places and different terrains

Kong toys, training also work as a pp said.

RiaRoth · 07/09/2020 14:17

Some of the posts on here are hysterical if they weren't being serious Confused - its like reading about dog training in the 1970's.

All of you saying the OP should socialise her dog - can you talk me through this please?

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/09/2020 14:24

Ddog used to get at least one 5-6 mile walk each day (Different walks as we have quite a choice of places to go. She also would run around with her friends which probably meant she was doing 8-10 miles to my 5) and another one of about 1 mile in the evening.
She also had Kong toys etc.

She would have a nap when we got back but after lunch was tearing around the garden again chasing squirrels (never got any as they went up trees.
I couldn’t ever imagine her just walking on a lead. She was well socialised and liked her doggy pals too much and liked to sniff around the undergrowth.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 07/09/2020 14:44

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead
Brain games etc are all very well, but I had a working-line dog pretty much on house arrest and short lead walks only for about a month and she was climbing the walls by the end: antsy, restless, and fed up. I was scatter feeding her round the garden, working on basic obedience in the house... nothing makes up for a bit of free running for some dogs.

movingonup20 · 07/09/2020 14:52

Ok they should have taught their dog better recall but if you are in a place where dogs are usually off lead you cannot expect dogs not to approach you, dogs and social creatures usually. I have a grumpy loner of a dog (he's offlead) but I realise other dogs aren't

movingonup20 · 07/09/2020 14:56

@SmudgeButt

Never seen a dog round up sheep on a lead! Some of us have trained dogs. I would pitch my dogs recall against any of those crufts dogs but he's from a working farm

PerveenMistry · 07/09/2020 15:01

@Oliversmumsarmy

I can understand if you have one dog that is particularly grouchy towards other dogs.

But having both dogs nervous of other dogs I do think that is more to do with the owner than the dog.

I had a fairly medium sized dog who I would have been walking all day to get her tired out.

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead.

People who rescue abused dogs often will have multiple that are shy and timid. Implying owner is incompetent because all dogs don't want strangers gamboling up to them is obnoxious.

tabulahrasa · 07/09/2020 15:31

@GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman

I am interested to know how you tire out a dog without letting them off their lead Brain games etc are all very well, but I had a working-line dog pretty much on house arrest and short lead walks only for about a month and she was climbing the walls by the end: antsy, restless, and fed up. I was scatter feeding her round the garden, working on basic obedience in the house... nothing makes up for a bit of free running for some dogs.
I’ve done things like teach dogs to help with sorting washing, identifying toys by name, hunting out random objects by scent hidden in a room.

So yeah, not just a bit of training with what should be an active dog if it’s longterm.

But if they’re a breed that’d usually want a couple of hours of walks and physically they can only do a couple of 15 minute ones, there isn’t really a work around.

With ones that are physically ok to be offlead, but not mentally - if they need it there are hired fields near me, or a 25 minute minute drive and I can be somewhere you rarely meet anyone else and I can mix those things in as well if needed.

vanillandhoney · 07/09/2020 15:58

nothing makes up for a bit of free running for some dogs.

I totally agree, but that doesn't mean you can just let your dog off-lead wherever you fancy. Hire a secure field. Use a long-line. Speak to a local school or farmer or dog school/daycare and see if you can pay for exclusive use of their field for an hour.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 07/09/2020 17:30

Tabulah, we did scentwork and new tricks. I'm just glad she's sound again now!

tabulahrasa · 07/09/2020 17:44

@GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman

Tabulah, we did scentwork and new tricks. I'm just glad she's sound again now!
That made it sound like I thought you worked on sit for a month and then wondered why your dog was bored, lol, that wasn’t what I meant.

I just meant, when it’s a longterm thing that’s limiting exercise you add in more complicated things and you tend to find their thing - that they like to do best.

IME Rotties really like scentwork, collies not as fussed by it but get quite excited by things like tidying up objects, where they go look for them and sort them into boxes ... not to stereotype or anything, lol. I had a little Lhasa for a while who was completely uninterested in any kind of brain training, but was portable so although it was only tiny on lead walks, he went to places like work with me of an evening instead and that kept him happy. (I can take dogs to work, but it wouldn’t work with large ones that I couldn’t just tuck in out of the way)

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 07/09/2020 18:58

tabulah, mine's things are hunting and retrieving. The scentwork was okay for the hunting, but she just got utterly fed up. She was off full exercise for about 3 months in total.

I got fed up too - she's fun to train and there we were in lockdown, with bags of time and long warm evenings, and there was Madam, scowling at me from her bed...

Borderstotheleftofme · 07/09/2020 20:15

collies not as fussed by it but get quite excited by things like tidying up objects, where they go look for them and sort them into boxes ... not to stereotype or anything, lol
My collie despises sorting things/putting them away!
I’ve asked her before to put toys into boxes, she grumbles and puts in one or two then takes them back out immediately to play with them Grin

She does like collecting rubbish on walks though and dropping them in the bin!

Vicbarbarkley · 07/09/2020 20:25

I have two dogs, walk them both in 'doggy' areas.
Usually they are both off lead, as are most of the other dogs. They all run, chase, have a fine old time.
At the moment I have one who us recovering from surgery (bilateral tplo), and so I have adjusted.
I take healthy dog to doggy park area for socialising, but take recovering dog on an onlead walk to where few dogs go - she just gets too excited otherwise.

So, in conclusion, I think you need to pick your walks. Doggy areas and beaches for off lead walks, which leaves more than enough choice for on lead exercise.