Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Furious.. Please tell me if I am in the wrong here

132 replies

HolyMolyMeOhMy · 06/09/2020 13:41

Just been to the park with our 2 dogs who are always kept on their leads. They are well behaved dogs but one of them has always been very nervous and he doesn’t like being approached by other dogs or people, especially if they get right in his face, and reacts by barking and chewing on his lead. The other one is ok but can often give the impression that he wants to play with other dogs but then change his mind in a second and start yapping. For this reason they are both always kept close to us on their leads.
A large dog off its lead just approached us and tried to get close to the dogs, so we pulled them away. The dog wouldn’t go away so my DH asked the owners if they could get hold of it it. They eventually managed to call it away after several attempts. DH then says that it should be on a lead, to which the woman responds that the majority of the dogs in the park are also off lead. I tried to politely explain to her that our dogs don’t particularly like other dogs, to which she replied “that’s not our problem, socialise your dogs then”.
I was furious that she said this! She has no idea of the reasons why my dogs are like that and in my opinion she was the one in the wrong by letting her dog go off approaching other people’s dogs, especially when they’re on leads. Our dogs were under control. Am I right to be annoyed by this? I am not normally an angry person but she honestly made me furious by saying this!
I am also not of the opinion that the dog should necessarily have been on a lead (like my DH told her it should have been) but I would at least expect her to keep it away from other dogs who are on leads.

OP posts:
Wtfdoipick · 06/09/2020 14:20

@Isadora2007

Your husband started it by saying her dogs should be on lead.
If her dog was out of control which it was if it didn't return at the first call then it should be on a lead. She didn't have control of her dog.
ABitOdd · 06/09/2020 14:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at OP's request.

SmudgeButt · 06/09/2020 14:23

There are no bad dogs just bad dog owners.

Frankly there are very very few dogs that will always obey a command. That other animal, smell, ball will be more interesting then a vaguely remembered reward for being a good dog. so in my opinion every dog should be on a lead unless it's in the show ring at Crufts.

Overtime2019 · 06/09/2020 14:26

I hate this I have a dog near me that is always off the lead and will run up to my two that are on the lead as they are both anxious while out. When this dog will come running and try and start on my dog and the owner does nothing at all drives me crazy the poor thing almost got hit by a car as well as the owner just seems to not care

stophuggingme · 06/09/2020 14:29

@Bluntness100

She does have a point. Both of them were in the wrong.

She should have been able to call her dog back. The op should not be taking her dogs to places she knows dogs are off lead and socialising if her dogs are not.

She seems to think it’s ok for her or her husband to dictate what others do with their dogs. Keep them on lead, but when given the same back take offence.

Bottom line is if your dogs are not socialised and can’t cope with other dogs approaching don’t take them to places you know dogs are off lead.

To a great extent I agree with you. However if my dog did not have good recall - which she does - she wouldn’t be allowed off road

A dog has to earn being off a lead. If its owners can’t control it with a “(insert name) here/ stop or a loud whistle) then their dogs are not being sociable they are unresponsive and out of control.

A socialised dog should also be an obedient and responsive one.

stophuggingme · 06/09/2020 14:30

Off lead not off toad thigh if she were a vehicle it would be An off raider. Hill And mountain climbing are her favourite things to do Grin

RiaRoth · 06/09/2020 14:30

@SmudgeButt

There are no bad dogs just bad dog owners.

Frankly there are very very few dogs that will always obey a command. That other animal, smell, ball will be more interesting then a vaguely remembered reward for being a good dog. so in my opinion every dog should be on a lead unless it's in the show ring at Crufts.

Bizarre! Dogs are always on leads in Crufts showring.......
missyB1 · 06/09/2020 14:31

Look no harm was done. You don’t say that her dog did anything to yours it came near. And maybe it didn’t have perfect recall - well remember your dogs aren’t perfect either. The fact that you have anxious dogs is not her problem or her dog’s problem - it’s yours.
You said you normally walk them earlier when it’s quieter, well in future stick to that. Your dogs clearly can’t cope with a busy dog park so be a kind owner and don’t put them in that situation. Or pay for a behaviourist to help them.

stophuggingme · 06/09/2020 14:31

Ffs roader

I’m not meant to write anything on this thread am I Grin

Elsiebear90 · 06/09/2020 14:31

I think there’s wrong on both sides tbh, she has a point in that your dogs aren’t socialised which is your issue, and you walked them in area you knew dogs were allowed off lead, you must have known by now a lot of dogs like to approach other dogs, and they don’t always follow perfect recall, especially when excited.

However, her dog’s recall should have been better if she allowing it off lead and she should have stopped her dog approaching yours when she realised they were uncomfortable.

dudsville · 06/09/2020 14:31

I think both sides are correct. You look after the needs of your dogs and help others to understand, but also if it is a place where dogs can be off lead then they will be, and that's ok.

FATEdestiny · 06/09/2020 14:32

The dog wouldn’t go away so my DH asked the owners if they could get hold of it it. They eventually managed to call it away after several attempts. DH then says that it should be on a lead, to which the woman responds...

Your mistake was getting into a discussion.

I shout, loudly and assertively, "GET YOUR DOG. Mine is frightened". On from that any other discussion just ends up being tit-for-tat judgemental and defensive. I wait, repeat parot fashion over and over until they have their dog. Then glare and walk away in silence.

dudsville · 06/09/2020 14:33

@stophuggingme

Ffs roader

I’m not meant to write anything on this thread am I Grin

I always do so many typos so I particularly enjoyed your post!
Floralnomad · 06/09/2020 14:34

It’s irrelevant whether most dogs are offlead or not , the fact of the matter is that if a dog is on a lead you do not allow your dog to go up to it and if you cannot stop your offlead dog approaching dogs on leads then your dog should also be on a lead .

vanillandhoney · 06/09/2020 14:34

@dudsville

I think both sides are correct. You look after the needs of your dogs and help others to understand, but also if it is a place where dogs can be off lead then they will be, and that's ok.
But the dog was bothering her dogs because the owner didn't have control over it.

I have no issue with off-lead dogs but they should have good recall and should come back when called. As a dog walker, I get utterly fed up of people who don't have their dogs under control. If I can walk 4-5 dogs on a lead, you can keep your one dog on a lead too. It won't harm them.

If you don't want to walk your dog on a lead, then make an effort to train them properly.

SBTLove · 06/09/2020 14:36

@trevorandsimon
You shouldn’t be letting your dog run up to unknown dogs especially if they are on the lead, a dog can be on a lead for a variety of reason; ill health, recovering from surgery, new rescue dog being socialised, nervous, fearful etc.
OP yes she was in the wrong, you say your dogs are one reactive and one nervous and you are correct in keeping them on lead, I work with rescue dogs and I can’t stand the dogs that are allowed to charge up whilst lazy owners shout “it’s ok he’s friendly”

FOKKYFC · 06/09/2020 14:37

Dog owners have a responsibility, morally and legally, to keep their dogs under control. You were doing that. They don't have any kind of responsibility to 'socialise' their dogs. Ignore the silly old moo.

HyacynthBucket · 06/09/2020 14:44

Your DH is right. The dog should have been on a lead because as the owner showed, she did not have control of the dog otherwise. I say that not just because of other dogs like yours that are on a lead and do not want others bouncing up to them, but as a pedestrian. I am sick of people's loose dogs coming up to me unwanted, and the owners failing to be able to stop them. Dogs in public places have to be under control, that is the law. A dog that does not obey its owner's voice commands is not under control and should therefore be on a lead.

Itsrainingnotmen · 06/09/2020 14:48

Out local council currently runs a ddog on lead policy due to Covid...

Borderstotheleftofme · 06/09/2020 14:54

Imo she was in the wrong but your DH shouldn’t have engaged.

There is no winning with people like this.
They pretty much always get defensive and arsey, blaming you for not socialising, claiming you shouldn’t be there etc.

I have a dog that also doesn’t like other dogs, I do have her off lead though as she won’t approach and will recall.

I find the best thing is to keep well away from other dogs and when one with no obedience inevitably runs over I just keep walking.
Change direction if disobedient dogs tries to get in front of yours.

This usually results in attempts to ignored attempts to recall then an annoyed and embarrassed and panicked owner chasing after their dog.

Jaxhog · 06/09/2020 15:13

OP's dogs not being socialised isn't the issue. They were on their leads minding their own business

Exactly. I just don't understand some dog owners. They assume that because they love fido, everyone should. Wrong. If your dog doesn't have excellent recall, it shouldn't be off lead. Period.

hiredandsqueak · 06/09/2020 15:19

Around here it's generally accepted that if your dog is off the lead then if you see another dog approaching that is on a lead you put your dog on the lead until it has passed. If another dog approaches that is off lead then it's ok to leave your dog off the lead and allow them to sniff each other. It seems to work well anyway.

BiteyShark · 06/09/2020 15:19

I do what Borders does. I turn with my dog and quickly walk away.

Then you find the owners are so panicked that they can't recall their dog that you can simply walk away without getting into an argument which you won't win because they don't want to know.

yearinyearout · 06/09/2020 15:39

She has not got a point. She needs to train recall and learn basic dog etiquette. You were totally in the right. Pour a glass of and ignore the numpty

Unfortunately you can't train good recall without having them off the lead. Yes you can practice as much as you want at home, or in empty fields, but it can still be hit and miss when there are other dogs around. If I had a dog that wasn't happy round other dogs, I wouldn't take it to places that are full of dogs off lead 🤷🏼‍♀️

Borderstotheleftofme · 06/09/2020 15:47

Unfortunately you can't train good recall without having them off the lead. Yes you can practice as much as you want at home, or in empty fields, but it can still be hit and miss when there are other dogs around
Thing is though, if the owner was trying to train the dog and it had decided to ignore her (as dogs in training can do) she would have been mortified, apologised profusely to the OP and taken the dog away.
The fact she got arsey and defensive speaks volumes.

I highly doubt she’s ever tried to train the dog recall, she sounds like one of the ‘let them run around and race up to everyone and if anyone takes offence it’s because they are unreasonable everyone should love my fur baby’ crowd.

If I had a dog that wasn't happy round other dogs, I wouldn't take it to places that are full of dogs off lead
I regularly see dogs off lead on paths where I live and in and around all of the fields and wooded areas.

So if I can’t walk my dog in or around the fields or the woods or the public paths, where do I exercise her..?
My garden?
The town centre?