Rehomed dog separation anxiety

[LoveUsed]

We rehomed a dog last week from well known rescue centre, he’s 3 year old terrier cross. Was told he was being rehomed due to barking when left alone and the neighbours complained. To try and combat this the owners put him in a muzzle. He’s obviously been neglected, he’s underweight and hasn’t been groomed in what looks like forever. Owners apparently told rescue centre that they weren’t exercising him enough.

When I enquired about him the rescue centre said he had separation anxiety and that any time left alone would have to be a slow process. The girl said ‘5 minutes left alone, then 10 minutes and so on’ She also said that he had been fine in kennels and had barely barked.

I researched separation anxiety and thought it was something I could manage and work up to leaving him so reserved him and went to meet him a couple of times before bringing him home.

However putting it into practice has been quite different to what I have read. I have tried leaving a kong with treats in, boredom breakers etc but he eats a couple of the ones he can see and then comes to the baby gate we put up (practicing for when we leave him in kitchen ) and starts grumbling and barks. So far I have only been able to leave him for 3 mins in total while I potter in his eye sight and returning before he barks.

I have tried to start de sensitise him by putting my coat on, getting up but going nowhere etc.

I have had a behaviourist out to discuss it with me and he seems to think that with time (as it’s such early days) and practice the dog can manage it. Also because he’s just moved house essentially he’s going to be more anxious in the first place at the moment which hopefully will die down. At the moment dog follows me everywhere from room to room.

DH is away next week with work so I will have to do nursery drop off and picks up by myself and will have to leave the dog for 30 mins. Behaviourist gave me some tips to manage this and also said that it won’t traumatise the dog, just might take longer in the long run to get the desired outcome.

Anyway I’m sorry for the long post. I love this dog already but feel completely overwhelmed and just wanted some tips or any positive stories u can give me!

Is taking the dog to nursery drip offs / pick ups not an option?

Not solving your problem but something less to worry about...?

I could take him in the car definitely. But I’m a bit worried he would bark his head off and become distressed seeing all the other people and waiting for me to return? I thought he might do better in more familiar surroundings? Behaviourist said I could try both options!

As id have to leave him in the car I mean.

The car would be alot less time alone...
You could always try the car

I suppose I could leave a load of treats in the car to keep him occupied too.

I’m just all of a sudden worried that I won’t be able to do anything or go out ever again. I never wanted to leave him for half a day or anything, just eventually take my son to soft play for a couple of hours or do a food shop. At the moment it seems impossible.
The behaviourist was cross that the centre told me the dog wasn’t that bad.

Gosh its really early days, give him time to feel at home. My rescue terrier X used to howl by the door when I went out, these days he just hops onto the sofa when he sees me getting ready.

He's not been well treated, then the trauma of kennels then the trauma of moving to you. Work on building his confidence that you will come back, baby steps. I agree that taking him in the car is sensible for the school drop off - if he's ok in the car?. Put him in the car first, then he gets to experience you going back inside and coming back to him again.

At this point you want to minimise triggering anxiety, you are building his resilience. Be patient. There will be setbacks because it's inevitable you will have to leave him at some point and he gets distressed - eg doing a food shop - but the more you can plan for, and minimise this the better, eg make sure someone can be with him when you go out. A dog that is calm and happy for prolonged periods is much easier to train than one that is anxious and wound up.

It's really like having an extra child, you really can't go out and leave them alone until you know they won't be frightened or distressed, but at some point, as a parent, you have to do that, but you wouldn't do it without preparing the child for being alone and feeling confident that they can cope.

Yes he does seem to be ok in the car travelling. Although I did get petrol the other day (with my friend in the car) and when I got our he whined and barked but he was ok when I went to pay.

I know, it’s very very early days. I suppose I’m panicking about next week because while I knew my DH had a work trip I thought that maybe the dog would be ready to be left alone for 30 mins. I read things like ‘build up to half an hour over a few days’ but that’s not going to happen.

I definitely underestimated how hard this would be. But he’s a lovely dog with a wonderful temperament so that’s the main thing.

Have a look at my thread! Am in a very similar situation. I have to work 2 days a week and have had to get my mum and dad to be doggy day care. Excellent advice on the Facebook group Dog Training Advice and Support. I have to go to work today but will pop back to this thread later.

I was told mine could be left for 5 hours!! Reality is 0 minutes Its hard and I have had many moments of what have I done? Hang in in there OP it will be fixable but will take lots of time.
Barking when left www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/3705479-barking-when-left

Please don't give up on the dog. You knew he had anxiety and you can't expect an overnight success. I find that anxious dogs cope much better in the car where they usually can't see you if in a boot crated anyway and the smell is still there. I would investigate more longer lasting chew treats like pigs ears etc and take him with you everywhere for now. He will settle down but be patient. Poor thing has had a terrible trauma. Rehoming again will only add to that so I would just manage as best you can and build him into your routine. Perhaps leave it a few more weeks before you even start to separate yourself.

I’m not giving up on him @ateallthecake I did know he had anxiety although not the extent he has it. I suppose I was naive in that regard. I am trying to make things right for him, but as I say it’s next week that’s worrying me as I will have to pop out. I want him to be settled and I know it will happen with time, but I need positive stories too of how people have found it. I haven’t even thought of having him
Rehomed!

Thank you @ThisIsNotAIBUPeople
I will have a look at your thread!

We are investigating a boot crate @ateallthecake so that might be the answer thank you. and I have bought him cows hooves etc but he doesn’t want them. He has one of those hard bones too that I soaked to make it softer in case that would increase his interest but no such luck yet. The behaviourist said it might take him a while to settle and chew as a calming activity. But any tips would be greatly appreciated as to treats that might interest him!he has a kong and he seems to like wet food in it but it’s hit and miss

We had similar situation and it did pass in around 6 months or sooner.

Now she barely notices if we're there or not and can be left all morning. However it was the not knowing how long it would last for for that put the pressure on.

I took her with me in the car - we got her in autumn like you so you have a good 4/5 months where it's not too hot to leave her in the car for a bit. She had a nice bed in the boot with a Kong at first and if necessary a hot water bottle on really cold days!!

We v slowly crate trained her in the house, as she was destroying a door while upset, this built up to her being able to be left in crate with a kong after a walk for school runs and then up to an hour or so. She still goes in crate now by choice but with the door open during the day so she loves it.

I also found a dog grooming place locally where she could go and hang out with other dogs for the morning for a small charge, no grooming, so it was possible to be able to do other things where she couldn't go. This took the pressure off us enormously as it meant we could do proper errands without her if necessary and meant that there was no rush with the training as we had options.

Good luck

Thank you @scothols
Nice to know it will pass although you’re right it’s the not knowing how long it will take to pass has put the panic on. For example I needed milk for a cuppa and couldn’t pop out and get any! (No shops near us to walk with the dog and also I wouldn’t want to leave him outside anyway!)

We’ve had a nice long walk this morning and I’m currently trying to de sensitise him to noises like opening the door, putting my shoes on and sitting back down. He’s so lovely and I think he’s fitting in so well, I am just flitting between ‘this is going to work’ and ‘omg what have I done to our family life’

Facebook page dog training advice and support. They have some documents that might help. He is very new to you. It is early days. You probably needed to work up from seconds, rather than minutes.

Home from work now @LoveUsed . I 100% identify with your feelings of not realising how hard it would be. I completely underestimated how much work would be involved. My poor mum and dad have now committed to having him every Thurs and Fri until he's settled.
I'm working on desensitisation, starting with the stair gate as he whimpers when I go upstairs. Then hope to move onto leaving the house for seconds, minutes, etc. Will probably get a cheap camera to see what he's doing. I have learned that the key is to never allow them to become anxious or distressed, so if you have to break it down into tiny steps then so be it.
If you want any support and sympathy I am happy to chat. To be honest I'm exhausted from my first week with him! Good luck.

Yes to the Facebook group. Lots of helpful units to read, especially on Separation Anxiety.
Mine isn't interested in toys or chews either, I don't think he's ever had them in his life.

Thank you @ThisIsNotAIBUPeople

We have also ordered a cheap camera and memory card so we can watch and record him to show the behaviourist.

DH brought home a pigs ear at lunch time and the dog loved it! So I am going to get a stock of those and give one to him when we are practicing desensitisation to keep him occupied.

I bit the bullet today and took him to the nursery pick up (just on the doggy seat belt he has) even though DH was home this aft for lunch. I think it was ok, he whined a little as I got out of the car but I didn’t hear him barking then or when I returned. I left a YouTube video running to keep him company and some treats although those went untouched till we returned.

This evening though I had to start bedtime routine by myself as DH wasn’t home. Dog was barking (not loads, only the odd one) at downstairs stair gate but I made sure he could see and hear me. DH asked why I didn’t bring him up but we already kind of have a routine going, mostly DH is home so one of us does bed time, but this is the second time since we’ve had him I’ve left him downstairs and he settled at the bottom step ready for my return.

We had this with ours, and went right back to square one. For the first six months or so, she wasn't left alone in the house after all, even for ten minutes. Luckily I was in a position to do that, I appreciate not everyone is. When she started showing signs of feeling more secure (i.e occasionally choosing to be in a room by herself) I started leaving her for short periods. Now, after a year and a half, we can leave her for an hour or two.

If he likes pig wars, you could try yak milk chews. They last for ages, and don't smell! Also antlers are good.

**Pig ears ffs.

@LoveUsed it sounds like you are making great progress! If he settled at the bottom step that's amazing.
I must look into treats, pigs ears sound gross but I bet ours would love it! My DH works away a lot, yesterday and today I had to sort dog, cats and kids by myself! The mornings were tricky but manageable. DDog finds it hard because I can't really give him any cuddles, no time to sit down between 6-8 am in the week!
These dogs have so much to learn about being a loved family pet, I know it will be worth all the hard work. I'll check back on your thread to see how things are going

JesusInTheCabbageVan I love reading success stories like yours, it gives me hope! Part of me wishes I didn't have work, but part of me enjoyed escaping and having interaction with real people!

I have the luxury of not working atm but in my job I can do as hoc agency work/nights/Lates to fit in with DH. DH does work late often and has the off trip but it’s just unfortunate as to how this one has fallen.
I suppose selfishly I didn’t realise what kind of lifestyle I had, taking DS to nursery and then going for a coffee or cleaning the house in peace. And on his days off we do things, see friends, a farm park etc. I think I thought I was home more than I am.
But I think of this little dog who is anxious and desperately doesn’t want to be left and it makes me so sad so I really want to make it right for him. He’s fitted in so well in all other ways.

@ThisIsNotAIBUPeople please keep in touch so we can share tips, successes, failings etc! And pigs ears aren’t that gross, they are dry but they do have hair on 🤢

I will try and antler and yak milk chew

@LoveUsed definitely, I could do with some support too!

But I think of this little dog who is anxious and desperately doesn’t want to be left and it makes me so sad so I really want to make it right for him. He’s fitted in so well in all other ways.

I couldn't agree more, that sums up exactly how I feel.