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Original poster

Rehomed dog separation anxiety

83 replies

LoveUsed · 03/10/2019 22:00

We rehomed a dog last week from well known rescue centre, he’s 3 year old terrier cross. Was told he was being rehomed due to barking when left alone and the neighbours complained. To try and combat this the owners put him in a muzzle. He’s obviously been neglected, he’s underweight and hasn’t been groomed in what looks like forever. Owners apparently told rescue centre that they weren’t exercising him enough.

When I enquired about him the rescue centre said he had separation anxiety and that any time left alone would have to be a slow process. The girl said ‘5 minutes left alone, then 10 minutes and so on’ She also said that he had been fine in kennels and had barely barked.

I researched separation anxiety and thought it was something I could manage and work up to leaving him so reserved him and went to meet him a couple of times before bringing him home.

However putting it into practice has been quite different to what I have read. I have tried leaving a kong with treats in, boredom breakers etc but he eats a couple of the ones he can see and then comes to the baby gate we put up (practicing for when we leave him in kitchen ) and starts grumbling and barks. So far I have only been able to leave him for 3 mins in total while I potter in his eye sight and returning before he barks.

I have tried to start de sensitise him by putting my coat on, getting up but going nowhere etc.

I have had a behaviourist out to discuss it with me and he seems to think that with time (as it’s such early days) and practice the dog can manage it. Also because he’s just moved house essentially he’s going to be more anxious in the first place at the moment which hopefully will die down. At the moment dog follows me everywhere from room to room.

DH is away next week with work so I will have to do nursery drop off and picks up by myself and will have to leave the dog for 30 mins. Behaviourist gave me some tips to manage this and also said that it won’t traumatise the dog, just might take longer in the long run to get the desired outcome.

Anyway I’m sorry for the long post. I love this dog already but feel completely overwhelmed and just wanted some tips or any positive stories u can give me!

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Original poster
LoveUsed · 04/10/2019 20:06

@ThisIsNotAIBUPeople just read your thread again where you said you have had moments thinking ‘what have I done’ and I totally have had this too. On Monday I had what can only be described as a full blown panic attack and was crying saying I had made a terrible mistake! From what I’ve read though it’s quite normal to feel like it’s too much!

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ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 04/10/2019 20:18

@LoveUsed yep, that's what I did when I started my thread. Came home to a barking dog and cried my eyes out, I kept saying to DH 'I can't do this!'. But I know I can, I have learnt a lot in a very short time and have lots more to learn!

ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 04/10/2019 20:20

Actually that was also Monday, so we were having a meltdown on the same day

ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 04/10/2019 20:20

ShockGrin

Original poster
LoveUsed · 04/10/2019 20:22

Maybe there was something in the air?! 😂 we will get there 🤛

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ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 04/10/2019 20:53

We willSmile

user1494670108 · 04/10/2019 22:21

My lurcher had terrible separation anxiety. I followed the advice on the Facebook page already mentioned (ie never leave him at first and then very gradually desensitise him). It took a couple of weeks or so to get to be able to walk up and down the road for a few minutes (while watching on the camera!). One day it was like a switch, instead of watching me anxiously through the window he turned his back on it and went to sleep, I knew then that it would be possible, it took a gradual build up but now I can leave him for a few hours.
(Although we've had a few things chewed and he had a habit of finding my handbag and going though it at first and he will still occasionally get something out of the recycling and chew it even though he never chews pigs ears, hooves etc

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 05/10/2019 14:17

Love and THISISNOTAIBU Flowers

Another thing that may have helped with DDog started out as a stroke of luck. Every day after work, I'd take her out for a long walk, feed her and then go and get DS from the childminder. To begin with, DDog had to come with me. To get her used to it (she hated the car as well, possibly because she was abandoned on a dual carriageway) I used the same phrase/tone of voice every day, just before leaving - 'Let' s get DS!'

When I finally felt she was ready to be left, I carried on saying it in the hope that she vaguely understood where I was going and that I would be back soon. It probably also helped that I was leaving her at a time when she was most relaxed.

Original poster
LoveUsed · 05/10/2019 14:35

Thank you @user1494670108 and @Jesus

Did any of your dogs follow you from room to room? And get up immediately when you get up?
I have been practicing getting up and sitting back down etc to de sensitise him

I have also realised that before we leave the house must be quite an anxiety inducing time for the dog also....for example DH has just taken out DS. There was a lot of ‘is his bag packed, where is this, where is that’ rushing around and DS screaming because he didn’t want to get changed! So the dog must think WTF!

Do you think he’ll get used to the comings and goings of our house in time?

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JesusInTheCabbageVan · 05/10/2019 19:54

Love Yes! Once during the early days I left her in the living room with DH, and when I opened the kitchen hatch to speak to him, she launched herself halfway through in an effort to get to me.

He'll get used to it - and you'll get used to having a little shadow, hard as it is to believe.

By the way, this is my own mini meltdown thread in case it helps. It looks like she made fast progress in being able to cope without me, but I actually started the thread after we'd had her a week - she literally hadn't been more than a metre away from me throughout that time!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 05/10/2019 19:56

Oh, just checked it again, I started it after a day! Blush Just felt like a week Grin

Si1ver · 05/10/2019 20:04

If he's not chewing kongs yet, try a licky mat. You can freeze them too to make them last longer. Licking is meant to me calming and therapeutic for dogs, I think it releases a relaxing hormone for them.

I use Primula cheese, peanut butter, pate or marmite on the mats and my dog loves them. She's quite bouncy and young and it definitely calms her down.

Original poster
LoveUsed · 05/10/2019 20:33

Thank you I’ll definitely take a read! I honestly thought I was a horrible person feeling like ‘what have I done’ but loads of reading has shown that’s it’s very common! I think I need to get through next week while DH is away and then the week after that he can probably take it to work for a day or two and then I’ll at least have some down time.

He has started to be interested in the kongs more over the last couple of days and also was happily squeaking a ball when I cane upstairs earlier. I will definitely freeze them tho to add interest.

I feel so sorry for him cos he’s almost on edge all the time and can’t settle, likes he’s expecting something. I know he needs to settle in but I wish he knew we were going to look after him forever x

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ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 05/10/2019 21:00

Oh yes me and my shadow! I find it both endearing and infuriating at the same time!
We had a disaster in the car today, took him for a 20 minute drive to collect youngest DS from an activity, eldest DS sat with him in the back as he hates the crate in the boot, all was going well until he was sick 5 minutes from home, then did a wee and diarrhoea in the house (in the downstairs bathroom at least) whether from car sickness, fear or both I don't know. So that's made life a million times more complicated as I now need to work on desensitising the car. Can't leave him in the house, can't take him with me in the carConfusedHmm
On the plus side I took my eldest and his friends to the cinema this afternoon and DDog was very happy to spend time with DH and youngest DS, it was nice to have a bit of dog free time.

ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 05/10/2019 21:01

I feel so sorry for him cos he’s almost on edge all the time and can’t settle, likes he’s expecting something. I know he needs to settle in but I wish he knew we were going to look after him forever x

You are very good at describing exactly what is going through my mind! Exactly this.

Original poster
LoveUsed · 05/10/2019 21:11

Oh no @ThisIsNotAIBUPeople so sorry that happened!

I felt like this on one of the first days, I took dog out for a walk and he pulled on the lead so much that I just stood and cried. I thought ‘I can’t leave you in the house, I can’t even take you for a nice walk!’ But he’s already improving. When I stop because he’s pulling he steps back a step so we keep going Grin

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Original poster
LoveUsed · 05/10/2019 21:13

Where abouts are you @ThisIsNotAIBUPeople ?
I’m in the south west

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ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 05/10/2019 21:14

@LoveUsed that sounds like progress already!
I feel bad about the car journey now, I feel like such an amateur. My mum and dad are going to have to help me even more with school runs etc. until I can sort the car journeys. Good job he's such a lovely dog!

ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 05/10/2019 21:14

I'm Hampshire.

ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 05/10/2019 21:16

@JesusInTheCabbageVan I have just had a read of your thread, it gave me a few chuckles and very encouraging to see how much progress you've made, you're obviously a gold star doggy mumSmile

Original poster
LoveUsed · 05/10/2019 21:20

@ThisIsNotAIBUPeople oh don’t feel bad, you aren’t to know the outcomes until you try. I only know that my pooch is good on the car because we had a 2 hour drive home after getting him and stayed settled the whole time.

Bless your parents for helping out! I would normally have help next week when DH is away but unfortunately my sister and best friend who would normally come and stay are both on holiday at the same time!

Have you had dogs before? We’ve had dogs in our family but I’ve never had one myself.

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Wolfiefan · 05/10/2019 21:23

I’m in the south west! My girl was incredibly anxious. I tried to leave her so I could go into the next room for a wee and she chewed through the wall. Shock
We followed the advice of dog training advice and support. Never leave the dog for longer than it can cope with. It worked. It takes a while and can be really difficult to implement but it’s brilliant advice. Good luck.

Original poster
LoveUsed · 05/10/2019 21:28

@Wolfiefan was she a rescue too?

I want to go in the kitchen to get a cream cake but doggy is asleep next to me on the sofa and I don’t want to unsettle him!

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Wolfiefan · 05/10/2019 21:33

No. She was just particularly needy. Slept on or next to me for weeks. Cried and wet herself and tried to eat her bed when she was left. It was so hard. Now it’s completely different.

Original poster
LoveUsed · 05/10/2019 21:34

Glad to hear that it’s much better. Poor little love.

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