Puppy Support Group 2

[DuchessDarty]

A continuation of this:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/3600375-Young-Puppy-Support-Group

All age of puppies (and owners ) welcome

I remember a few weeks ago when I used to just get up out of bed when I wanted on a Sunday morning and have a lazy breakfast,those days are long gone! Up at 6am every day without fail and dozing on the sofa at 9:30 pm in a state of exhaustion are the norm now.lucky I am in love with the little rascal!
Second vaccines were yesterday,so as long as we avoid the canal path and farms we should be able to venture out in 10 days or so.She was good as gold at the vets but was car sick on the way home so that was fun!
It’s so nice to know that I can come on here and know that others are going through similar experiences.

Our puppy was 10 weeks old on Wednesday. Seems to be getting better each day, but I am finding it really tiring. Thankfully the little ball of fluff slept from 11pm to 6am without waking me last night for a toilet break. He had a poorly tummy yesterday, so I spent most of the day worrying about him. Turns out he has been stealth eating little twigs when darting underneath the bushes in our garden, little love . Getting so bored of walking him round our garden, but we have to wait approx 2 weeks before we can take him for a walk.

Today I'm seriously thinking of returning Clownpup to the breeder. Who also happens to be a friend - this somehow makes it worse.

I feel like I'm having some sort of breakdown, I can't stop crying. Dd has ASD, as does DH. DH is not coping well at all with the changes, the smell, the unpredictability of a puppy. He's very, very stressed and withdrawn. I can see him on the verge of a meltdown or burnout. He was like this when the dc were babies and it is awful being back there again.

So everything is on me. She's currently tired and whining and crying her heart out in the crate and I don't know what to do, I don't feel like I have any clue what I'm doing.

I feel like the world's worst person.

Clowns, you’re not an awful person. The little bitey buggers are hard work. Perhaps you could keep a diary of your positive and negative emotions over the next week, and then reevaluate the situation. Remember it is only a phase. Difficult I know, my little git has just rolled in poo from an unidentified source . Unfortunately, he is unlikely to grow out of doing that .

Clowns

I felt this way with my boy, and already have with my girl. This shit is hard. My daughter is awaiting referral for testing for ASD and struggles daily. She enjoyed helping out with puppy training before and it really helped her. Is there a training task you can give your DD? Something small, my DD was so pleased when she taught our boy to come to her and sit. She’d seen him do it for me, but to be able to do by herself really helped her.

Crying is ok. It is a really difficult thing to do raising a puppy and all that comes with them. I know everyone says it and when you’re getting chewed on the millionth time that day, you just can’t bring yourself to believe it, but it gets better, very very slowly, but by bit, the things that were so hard or constant in the beginning get easier or it happens less. You grow used to the routine, you adapt and it works out. Maybe not always in the way you imagine, but in a way you can live with. I wish I could offer more advice, but just know you’re not alone in how you’re feeling.

Clowns it is so hard and very similar to having a baby/toddler again. How old is your pup now? If you're all struggling with the puppy and it's having a knock on detrimental effect on your mental health then returning them might be the right thing to do. That absolutely does not make you a bad person. I've mentioned a couple of times on here that we returned a rescue dog a couple of years ago, it wasn't the right dog or the right time for us and was probably the closest I've ever come to in having a complete break down.

She 9 weeks. I feel a bit better this afternoon. Had a good cry with DH. And I chatted with my mum (who's had a puppy before).

I'll see how we go this week. Thank goodness for this thread.

Here's the beast. .

What a beaut, Clowns. I’m sure this time next year it will have been worth it. The nipping, broken sleep and toilet training hopefully will all be in the past.

Our stinky spaniel 😂

Hope’s 9 weeks too. We’re placing bets on what she weighs on Tuesday when we go to the vets. I reckon 10.5kg and above!

Below is a picture of my leggings after an encounter with the hairy bitey madam earlier! And a picture of her, looking far sweeter than she is!

Clownpup weighed 5.5kg a week ago. Might weigh her again later.

They are both gorgeous. What breed is Hope?

Hope’s a Saint Bernard cross Spanish Mastiff. Both rather hefty breeds!

Clowns I have a child with ASD who dislikes dogs and a husband who really doesn't care much for ours, and I won't deny it has been more stressful dealing with them than the dog itself...My dd however and older son adore him and I am a real dog person (despite never having had one before except to borrow) I don't mind chewing and mess and I love the way the dog gets me out of the house and away from other stressful things -people, tidying

If in your heart of hearts you don't feel supported or able to cope with this, (my children btw are 17 and up!!) at this time, you mustn't be afraid to return your puppy. He will find the perfect home if you return him soon enough. My puppy was 12 weeks when I got him, to my mind the perfect age to get an already socialised puppy (mine was used to the company of other puppies and children)

Perhaps in another year or two will be the right time, and in my experience I don't think there is anything wrong with an older dog, after having this one, I am very pro dogs of I year and older!!!! Also I wonder whether poodle crosses are nippier ( I have one) and my previous experience was of a crazy but non nipping springer spaniel of 5 months plus.

Please don't feel you are failing by changing your mind, ime, an unsupportive husband at this is very very draining. (dh was, and still accuses me of only caring about the dog)

Thanks. Dd with ASD loves the dog, she's one of the reasons we got one. Pup's mum is an emotional support dog for a child with ASD.

I will try one more week, see how I feel next weekend.

I think unless you can have a long talk with your husband and see how he is going to cope with the next few months, react, act, support etc, there will be a lot of tension with you apologising all the time for the dog's behaviour. Which is not really fair on you or the dog. I think people with dogs that are beloved family pets often forget the early stages of puppy hood can be less than ideal when you are dealing with a SEN or challenging personal circumstances. However much the dog ameliorated the situation long term. Most assistance dogs are trained before the family gets them - am I right in thinking?

I feel like an idiot and I know some friends will be thinking I told you so. And the kids would be devastated. DH is adamant that we can't return her and it's just a phase etc.

I've not had a great time mentally recently, not long returned to work on a phased return. I realise I sound like a twat, to get a puppy. But it was long planned in advance.

Assistance dogs traditionally are trained, but that is very expensive, meaning very few dogs and long waiting lists. There are now charities that provide the training with you for family puppies, starting at 6 months. They have to do a beginners basic training too.

@ClownsandCowboys the first few weeks are the worst. I´ve said it before, but I cried A LOT. I sat on our bed, arms wrapped around DH and sobbed that I just don´t want this dog, I regret it, I wan´t to return him and never see him again.
But days and weeks passed, it´s been four weeks since we got him and we´re slowly adapting.

On the other hand: three years ago we brought home a frenchie. He lived with us for only ten days. Everything with him and with him fitting in our lives was off. He had the worst separation anxiety. I tried crate training but failed so hard. The moment I shut the crate door he panicked and peed and pood inside his crate.
He peed on everything, even on his own toys and into his water bowl!
At the same time one of our DSs was having tantrums and he was so jelaous of the puppy.
After eight days I felt that this is going nowhere. I gave myself two more days but decided that this puppy is not for us and that I need to focus on my son. So I contacted the breeder and we returned the puppy. It was the right thing to do at the time.

My point is that you need to take your time and think about it. You know it in your heart if it´s just a stressful situation that maybe even makes you cry your eyes out, but in the end still just a phaste that´ll pass and deep down you know that you´ll make it. This is how I feel with our corgi at the moment.
Or if it is really a huge mistake and you really should return the puppy as it was with our frenchie.

(I still apologize for all the mistakes I make while writing in English, felt like I made a thousand of them in this message :D )

*it´s just a phase!

I'm fairly sure it's the former. A stressful situation that we'll come through. It's not her. She's perfect for us.

Sorry for being a moaning myrtle.

Does anyone else's pup seem to find it impossible to get comfortable sometimes? She seems to lie down, get up, turn around, move a bit, lie down, get up try a different place.

Ours does the same but not so much anymore. Guess he has more or less figured out his favourite sleeping spots.

I try to post a photo of one of his favourite spots and positions :)

So, here he is, our little devil after all the daily damage is done

So sorry to read of some of your struggles. Massive hugs all round!

I'm on and off feeling that way though the past few days have definitely been better. He's going to the door to be let out but he isn't making a sound so sometimes we don't notice. Our bad.

So much for the weeks spent getting him settled downstairs! He sleeps on dd's bed and I suspect there's no going back. He's only had one accident up there and that was her fault. She heard him jumping off the bed and going to the door but she 'was too tired to get up' the lazy feck. Of course he left a little puddle.

He's 20 weeks old now and weighs a massive 3kg! I'm keeping on the lookout for the second fear phase. He's supposed to get neutered at 6 months but I want to hang on until that phase has passed just in case.

Grassy what breed is yours again? 3kgs is still tiny, we weighed our boy over the weekend and he is 3.8kgs now (17 weeks today!!)

He looks to be filling out and appears to have a little pot belly 🤣

I'm not sure what to do re neutering as read recently that boys need their bits for the testosterone and neutering early can effect their growth and make them anxious. I was planning on waiting until he turns a year and then think about it again.

Just to balance out the thread I can honestly say getting our puppy has been the best thing I've done in a long time. He has fitted in beautifully and I am a complete puppy bore in rl. There have been challenges and I'm sure there are more to come but I love him so much it scares me a little bit!!

Pic of him after a long day being a puppy.