The dog is ruining our relationship

[Frog123]

My partner and his two dogs moved in with me after he lost his home, I was told his 8 year old dog didn’t like cats, I have two.
Anyway, my cats hardly come in anymore because his dog snarls and chases them, it’s been 7 months and the dog still won’t accept them, he’s destroyed my garden, including chewing half of the fence down, my partner thinks picking up 2 dogs mess barely once a week is ok (I also have 3 children, one isn’t 2 years old yet) the dog wee’s Up my walls, ripped the bar off the baby gate, destroyed one of settee cushions the repair cost me 160 quid. Scratched my brand new door in the living room, gets in my wardrobe and sleeps on my clothes and bedding even though he mostly sleeps IN THE BED. Barks all the time and won’t be quiet when told. I had brand new carpet laid not yet a year ago, it was grey, it’s now brown and stinks. My partner works 14 hour days and it’s me left to cope. I’m at my wits end and I’ve now started to dislike the dog and I’ve grew distant from my partner because he comes home and all I can think Is your dogs been awful today.
I love my partner but I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so unhappy and I’ve always been very house proud and saved hard for everything I have.
Anyone else gone through anything similar? What did you do?

This won't work. I love my dog, but I accept my partner is not a dog person and his house is far too small for my bouncy enthusiastic spaniel. I respect his house and his feelings so when we move in the dog will stay with my parents, where he currently lives. He has to accept this isn't working for you and put your feelings first. It is hard but this needs sorting. Especially sleeping in your bed, wtf!?!?! That is horrible!

Not quite as bad as you OP but my DP has a problem dog it thinks nothing of crapping in the house even when it has access to outside. He very rarely walks it that’s left to me to do, it drives me nuts. It used to jump all over my furniture which I’ve put a stop too and now if it comes to my place it’s crated at night and if I go out as I’m not putting up with it. DP moaned at first but I sai d it’s crate or the dog doesn’t stay here anymore.

Chuck him out. Life's too short.

@Brazenhussy0

Ach you’re a softy OP. You felt sorry for (and possibly obliged to) him after he lost his flat and offered him a space, which was very kind.

But you know...the signs were all there before he moved in. He lost his flat because of the dogs. He’s got a giant breed and a pit bull cross? Nothing like pushing the boat out when you’re going to be an irresponsible dick is there? When you’re not available to see to them, have no time to walk them and expect other people to pick up their shit on your behalf...and when you lose your job and your home for them?
Yeah...what a good idea getting dogs.

Seriously...the guy’s a fool. Get him the hell out before disaster occurs.

That breed mix combined with poor training is a tragedy waiting to happen - get rid whilst you still have a child in one piece. Please

Nothing like pushing the boat out when you’re going to be an irresponsible dick is there?

🤣🤣🤣

OP, you say it wouldn't be fair to the dog to rehome it - the situation the dog/s are living in is animal cruelty! Honestly, if someone reported to the RSPCA that you had a dog of this type that was never walked and was hit, you would have it taken off you. Rehoming it would be the kind thing to do, it sounds like it's absolutely miserable.

And frankly, your poor cats aren't in a much better situation.

Added to that that no matter how docile and lovely with people you think this dog is, it is an aggressive breed that is unhappy and unexercised, and could easily turn without any warning. I personally know a "lovely" dog that bit off half of its owner's face. If something does happen, god forbid, you could be held responsible too especially if it is an illegal cross.

The destruction to your home is absolutely not ok either - the furniture might be yours but if you've got a deposit down for this place you will definitely be losing it to repair wee-soaked walls and floors and a broken fence.

You really need to get this situation in hand for everyone's sake.

Has the dog seen a vet recently - unneutered 8 year old male urinating in the house could be prostate issues / prostate cancer. Neutering would have helped, it's not just about stopping breeding... Anyway, definitely worth checking as if it's a health problem there might be a treatment to stop the peeing indoors.

Also OP please, please take your cats to a rescue centre.
I used to work at a vets. I've seen what dogs can do to cats. If you don't want to ask your partner to leave or remove the dogs, then please rehome the cats. Can you imagine the trauma it would cause to your children if they see their pet cat torn apart in front of them?

That breed mix combined with poor training is a tragedy waiting to happen

^^ This. I personally wouldn’t have that mix near my children.

Poor bloody cats.

These dogs are neglected. As pp say, its not a surprise they are destructive. And your children are at risk, they will be unpredictable if they are not in a healthy stable setting. Dogs need regular exercise and stimulation - the dog walker is a good start but if your OH cant give more time then he should not have them.

One of them is a puppy just in season - she can only have been with him for a few months...

I think rehoming is the kindest thing. I’d lose the boyfriend as well personally.

One of them is a puppy just in season - she can only have been with him for a few months...

I was thinking about this earlier. Does this mean he brought a giant breed puppy, when he already had a dog aggressive illegal mix breed
, lived in a flat, and he was already out of work and failing to pay his rent let alone failing to actually care for the existing dog properly?

Op I understand you may want to walk away from this thread, feel free to pm me for any more advice.

Your man is not respecting you
You are allowing him to walk all over you
Your children are in danger of being bitten
Dog and man need to go

Why did you get another puppy?

Chuck him, and the dogs, out.

Just caught up on the thread since my post last night and I think your partner sounds like a bigger arsehole than he did last night.

Those months he quit work to care for the dogs I'm assuming he picked the shit up and walked them properly then? Why did he think it was ok to just stop doing that when he knew you couldn't do it?

The shit will take much longer to clean when it's been to fester for a weej than it would if he did it daily. His working long hours are no excuse for neglecting his dogs needs. My husband works similar hours but walks the dog. We knew when we got her that my heath means I can't always walk her and because he loved and wanted a dog as much as I did he committed to getting up an hour earlier and walk her and to then walk her again if my health hasn't allowed me to do so during the day. Husbands health has been poor recently (cancer) and we've had to use a few back up plans and friends and family helped sometimes but we had a paid dog walker ready just in case too.

I hadn't realised one dog was just a puppy's If he's been living with you seven months already, did he buy another dog when he wasn't able to pay his rent and already having a problematic dog?

When I mentioned not having the dog around your children I wasn't just referring to a dog deliberately hurting one, I meant a having a dog that is so poorly behaved could accidentally hurt your child. What happens if it goes for the cat while sat on your lap? Knocks the toddler over while in panic? I also would not leave your children alone with your partner because I wouldn't trust him to not leave the dog alone with kids. He's hardly been the model of responsibility so far.

I'll second the op who suggested rehoming your cats though. This year I've seen a cat ripped in two after an irresponsible dog owner just lets her dogs on to shit and piss in the street every night chased, caught and killed my neighbours cat.

The fact it's you sorting dog walkers, that it's you planning on leaving with the kids for a break and he's not don't this in the seven months it's been an issue doesn't fill me with hope that he's committed to making it work.

absolutely spot on BRAzen!!!

We will see a thread in a few weeksabout how the dog has ripped oneof your cats apart or has (godforbid) gone for one of your children,

seriously OP, wake up and ditch the man - he needs to rehome those poor dogs

You don’t have to split up over this! Just don’t live together! Everyone jumps to ltb immediately as if it’s that easy to find another partner.

@Brazenhussy0 well said.

Honestly OP. He can be your boyfriend but you don’t need to house him.

You are really costing your children here. Do not allow this. I am pretty shocked that it has got this far. You obviously like this man but he isn’t great: he hits dogs to train them; he cannot organise his rent, his responsibilities etc.

Just put your children first.

Please don't let your son sit playing with the dogs ears. And make sure that your DC are not left alone with the dog.

@Nesssie

1. I didn't say they're all killers. Just stated my mothers (disturbing & heartbreaking) personal work experiences with that breed in particular and children being bitten.

2. Regardless of what kind of aggressive the dog is, you truly can never trust a dog (and I say that as a dog lover!) having a toddler around an already aggressive dog is a bad idea.

The op clearly doesn't give a shit and holds no standard to herself or her children putting up with this mans shit.

This has got to be a wind up, surely?