It's home!

[puppypalavas]

Got our puppy today.
Been about 8 hours since we’ve had her and I’ve got puppy blues already!
She’s doing ok toilet wise. Maybe 3 inside, 3 outside and a poo outside.
Got her confined to the kitchen at the mo and she’s got a playpen in here.
We’ve got a deep sided box for her for our room tonight.
We’ve put her in her playpen probably 5 times, for short durations, 15 mins or so.
Then we went to the shop to find a box for her for tonight, so we were out for 40 minutes.
She’s howls and cries and barks solidly in her playpen.
As soon as she’s quiet we go in and praise her. Sometimes getting her out and sometimes leaving her in there.
Every single time though she has barked and howled in her playpen until she’s vomited. She’ll be losing weight at this rate.
Am I doing the playpen thing right?

Been about 8 hours since we’ve had her
First step is make her feel secure. She’s in a brand new home with brand new people and no more mum dog. Stay with her and help her settle in.

You’ve just bought this puppy home and already left it for 40 minutes? Don’t.
You can use the playpen to keep it safe when you cook etc but for now this puppy needs to be with you.

Why are you leaving her alone so much? Poor thing has been separated from everything that it knows and now has to sit in a playpen in the kitchen by itself. No wonder its upset.

So much conflicting advice.
Some people say they need to get used to your routine immediately so go out as and when you usually would.
Others say stay with them 24/7 for a few days.
Most say they need leaving in their playpen for 10 mins here and there from day 1?
So what should we be doing?

Leaving her to bark and get into a state will likely result in a dog with separation issues .

it has just been separated from her mum and litter. Why the heckdo you think you should be leaving her alone.

So what should we be doing? ive never had a puppy only ever adult rescue dogs but I would have thought the advise would be similar in that every dog is different so you cant just stick to a method you have read or heard about which isnt working for you or the dog.

Ok, so stay with her constantly then?!

You are leaving her too soon. I totally agree with the poster above. The puppy will develop separation anxiety, and will have it all her life. Everything is so new to her!! She is your new baby..you can't leave her, or lock her in her cage. She needs to get use to you first, and develop a trusting relationship! She won't get that with you leaving her

Some people say they need to get used to your routine immediately so go out as and when you usually would.
Where did you see this? I read so much before bringing my puppy home and didn’t see this once.

What kind of bed set up has she got in the pen? A covered area that smells like mum would help her feel safe. She also needs to start feeling safe with you. Spend time with her and start showing her love and security.

She's a young puppy in a strange environment away from mum for the 1st time. She's not a human baby, but she is a baby.

Can she have her playpen in the same room as you? If you put her in there but she can still see you does she get as upset?

The playpen is in our open living/dining/kitchen room.
She’s a bit better if we sit right next to her playpen.
She needs to be in there tho when I’m bathing the kids and cooking etc.
So though short 5 minute spells may get her used to it.

40 minutes on her own on her first day? She is 8 weeks old and has never been away from her mum and siblings. She needs you.

I’ve not heard that about household routine from the start before. I had a large crate but my puppy never settled in it and for pretty much the first month just wanted to be lying on someone. Actually not a whole lot has changed there

Remember it’s day one. It gets a whole lot better.

So though short 5 minute spells may get her used to it.
We did even shorter than 5mins at first. Literally left the room and came back, building this up a bit at a time. Luckily, puppies sleep for 18+ hours a day so I get everything done while he’s sleeping!

You can do this. You’re just going to have to research things properly and, like you’ve done, ask if you’re not sure.

Ok, so stay with her constantly then?!

For now, yes. She’s a baby!

She’s only slept once all day today. She fell asleep on me and I managed to pop her in her pen asleep and she had about an hour.
One of the breeders I met (not the one we went with) said that dogs need to get used to the household routine, so start from day 1 going out as you usually would.
So husbands got that idea in his head, and turned a 15 minute shopping trip into a 40 minute one as he thought pup needed leaving to get into a routine.
And then we got home to a pile of vomit.
Won’t be doing that again.
Although I do need to take my daughter to a class after school tomorrow, so I’ll be out 3-5pm. What do I do re this?
Try and get someone to sit with her.
Then we have no more reasons to leave the house for the rest of the week, bar school runs so 40 minutes each way. Can I not leave her for that amount of time?

We kept our puppy in the kitchen as the book we had said hard floor and not to expose to too many different things first week. We had a cage for him to sleep in Which we covered so it was like a safe little cave for him. We stayed with him for the first couple of days as long as he was awake, stroking him to help him nap/ sleep and going to him as soon as we heard he was awake (DS and I took in turns sleeping on sofa for first week so we could hear as soon as he was whining)

After first couple of days I stopped stroking him asleep but stayed in kitchen until he was just dropping off.

Actually although I say he was confined to kitchen, it was mainly outside as it was summer.

We always had someone in the house with him for first fortnight and after that we started leaving house e.g. Starting with half hour, building up.

I think we may have been lucky that our puppy settled in quite quickly after first few days. But yes, it is tiring and worrying particularly if you are first time owner.

Remember she's a very tiny baby still and she's just gone through a huge upheaval. Even if the breeder has made a start on getting her used to being away from her mum and littermates for short periods (which many don't) it's still way too much to ask her to be happy being completely alone in a strange environment, even if it's only for a few minutes.

Training a pup to be happy being left shouldn't involve them crying at all, never mind being so distressed that she's vomiting. If you carry on this way you're effectively teaching her that being left is awful and frightening which is highly likely to lead to full on separation anxiety which can be extremely difficult to deal with.

You need to drastically lower your expectations and build up very, very gradually at your puppy's pace. If your pup is crying then you're moving too fast and need to make things a bit easier.

Are you on FB? If so I can't recommend the group Dog Training and Support highly enough. It's run by very highly respected professionals who advocate the use of methods and techniques which are all science based and force free. In the 'Files' section they have a collection of guides and articles aimed at new puppy owners: Congratulations on Your New Puppy. I highly recommend taking the time to give them all a good read through, particularly 'Puppies and Time' and the crate training guide.

Two hours tomorrow is going to be far too much for her, especially after what she's been through today, and you really do need to get someone to sit with her. It takes time to get them built up to being happy left alone, 40 minutes a day might not seem like much to you but it's a lot for a puppy who has just arrived in a strange place full of strange people having never really been apart from their mum and siblings before.

We have gated off the kitchen section of downstairs but she can still see us at all times.
Worrying now about leaving her for school runs etc. What should I do? I’m home the majority of the week, bar school runs and after school classes so a max of 2.5 hours twice a week for after school stuff. I feel like I can’t leave her for 2.5 hours tomorrow night.

Although I do need to take my daughter to a class after school tomorrow, so I’ll be out 3-5pm.
Err... what?! You’ve worried me now.

What did you plan on doing with her while you were out? Have you booked a sitter? Why did you not plan for this before you got her?!

Have you done any kind of research?

Take her with you on the school runs that will be excellent for her . Can you leave your daughter at the class and then go back for her , if not I’d just miss the class or get someone else to take you daughter .

^Although I do need to take my daughter to a class after school tomorrow, so I’ll be out 3-5pm. What do I do re this?
Try and get someone to sit with her^

Based on my experience, waaaay too long for day 2. You want lots of bonding and security. I’d call around some friends who might be able to cover for you. Puppy sitting is very popular I find!

School runs are presumably only for this week? I’d try to get them covered one way or the other and then work on building her up over Christmas ready for Jan.

I was taught to just walk out of the door, shut the door and walk back in, then work up to 5 minutes and so on.

I wouldnt leave her for 2.5hrs tomorrow that's far too long far too young. Do you have to stay at the activity? Can someone else take your child? Most people with small puppies round here seem to take them on the school run with them.

Take her with you on the school runs that will be excellent for her

Good point. Will get her more used to the car too assuming you drive.