I Don’t Love My Dog :(

[Together24]

We’ve had her 10 weeks (since she was 8 weeks old) and I still feel very little for her. I’m stressed out and really hating dog ownership.
It’s not her fault, it’s mine for not anticipating the reality of having a dog. Friends see me in tears and ask what I was thinking and the truth is I really don’t know. We researched for months and do have the time, space and finances to care for her - but not the love it seems.
She’s a really lovely pup. DH is neutral. He felt we had made a mistake at first too but now after the initial shock, he says we will keep her if I can cope or rehome her if it keeps meaning I’m so upset (constantly tearful, not sleeping, depressed).
I don’t know how long it will take, if ever, for me to actually want the dog in our lives and the longer I’m like this the less fair it is on pup and of course the kids.
The kids like the idea of a puppy (of course) but it falls to me and DH to do all the hard work. It seems like Puppy blues but still after 2 and a half months?!
I couldn’t have known how I would feel but it doesn’t stop me feeling absolutely awful.
She’s very well cared for, goes to classes, is housebroken and I spend time every day training and exercising her. I don’t mind any of it, it’s just that I don’t enjoy it. Every morning I wake up and my heart sinks with dread.
Has anyone got through this feeling and out the other side?
Or should I seriously think about rehoming (through a proper breed-specific charity etc to get the best home for her, I wouldn’t even consider anything less)?

[quote Michelakk]@AMSpoon how did it work out for you in the end? I'm literally in the exact same position right now, I've been googling and came across this thread. I have a 10 week old pup and I have the exact same thoughts as you right now and it's just so horrible I cant even explain the guilt I feel over this![/quote]
@Michelakk It’s gets better. I didn’t enjoy my dog until about a year old. Then one day I suddenly realised that I was having fun with him.

Having a dog is not a walk in the park (no pun intended). It’s way harder than anyone can expect. The responsibility. The being on edge constantly. Massive disruption to your life.

It gets better.

[quote Michelakk]@AMSpoon how did it work out for you in the end? I'm literally in the exact same position right now, I've been googling and came across this thread. I have a 10 week old pup and I have the exact same thoughts as you right now and it's just so horrible I cant even explain the guilt I feel over this![/quote]
The puppy thread on here is really useful. Puppy blues are so common. I’d have happily given ours back at any point in the first 4 weeks. dH was head over heels in love with her from the first minute he saw her.

He was doing less of the hard work though.

It’s tiring, I mourned the fact couldn’t just go out, and she was a bitey little git. She’s 10 months now. Absolutely lovely dog.

hi, i’m going through this right now and it’s killing me. i’m so sad about it, can’t stop crying. what did you do in the end?

@charlotte2703 Sorry to hear this. What is it that you dislike about dog ownership? What breed/how old is your dog?

he’s a golden retriever puppy 9 weeks old, lovely dog. quite chilled for a puppy i think. i feel so guilty because he’s done nothing wrong at all. i have children and i expected to find a puppy hard, like you find a newborn baby hard, but this is different because i just don’t love him. i feel nothing towards him. i feed him bath him play with him etc (he can’t go for walks yet) but i just don’t want him in my house anymore :( i know i sound like a terrible person. i have cried all week over this. my partner feels a bit overwhelmed by him but overall he likes him.

It's a huge adjustment and the weeks before he is allowed out of the house are hard (although you can still carry/drive him around, so you don't have to be trapped in the house. It sometimes takes time to bond with a puppy.

But if you don't want him, I'm sure the breeder will have no issue finding a GR puppy a new home. They are so popular

I’m feeling the same…. It’s all so overwhelming and confusing. I didn’t expect to feel like this. I’m so anxious about everything.

same :( how old is yours?

I tried to be with our puppy as I was with my baby - trying to make them slot into my life routine rather than changing everything to suit theirs. I know it's easier said than done, but try to find ways to make dealing with the puppy easier. Is there something you find particularly hard? Perhaps this board can give you ideas to make things easier

I am in exactly the same scenario!. I feel so cornered, he is adorable well trained
I have wanted one for ages
My daughter chose his breed which doesn’t suit me personally and he is one of the most strong odoured breeds those two things are making it extremely even more unbearable. It is such a strange feeling, I have never felt this kind of freaked out and blue. We’ve had our french bulldog puppy for just over a week and he is 4 months old. I don’t mind training him etc its just this awful reaction.
And I feel trapped and gulity not wanting to unsettle him or disappoint my daughter by rehoming . Did you rehome, how are thing with you now ?

Hi, I know this post was years ago so not sure if you will even see this! But on the off chance, what did you decide to do in the end? We’ve had our puppy 3 weeks so far and I feel the exact same. I’m putting in so much work training and playing with him, he’s incredibly calm and well behaved, and almost already totally toilet trained. Everyone loves him except me. He has bonded to me the most even though my partner takes him to work a few days a week. I just don’t love him. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is, but I’ve literally cried myself to sleep every night. I feel like it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made and I just can’t explain it beyond saying I just don’t want him. We researched the breed before we got him for about 6 months so was as prepared as I thought we could be, but I just did not anticipate feeling like this in the slightest. I don’t enjoy being at home anymore and every time I look at him I just feel total sadness.

@Kcg15 What breed is your dog?

He’s a Newfoundland

Omg they're such a beautiful amazing breed! Surely your breeder will have no problem finding a new home for a Newfoundland pup? Have you asked them if they would take the puppy back?

3 weeks is such a short time. It's a huge life adjustment and you don't realise the impact it will have on you and your way of life. I felt the same for quite a bit longer! Please give yourself and the pup a chance, at least for a few more weeks?

It was such a long time since I posted on this thread, but I'm back to say, hang in there!
My dog is a rescue, not abused as such but a lot of change in her short life and no socialisation. When I first posted, I was walking her only 10mins a day and she would have several meltdowns just in that period. She also had terrible separation anxiety and couldn't be left alone for 30 seconds. I felt totally trapped, and genuinely thought the rest of my time with her would be utterly miserable.

Today, I took my dog and my toddler pumpkin picking, where there were loads of kids, other dogs, new sights and sounds. She did amazingly, not entirely calm but I've learnt how to manage her emotions. She's my darling little girl and I couldn't imagine my life without her.

When it was really tough in the first few weeks, I promised my OH that I would give it 12 weeks - by the end of that, I said I absolutely would not give up the dog. Everyone in the early days told me to give it time, and I'm here to tell you the same - it IS a massive shock to the system, a puppy is overwhelming, but dogs change. The puppy you'll have in 3 months is not the puppy you have now! You'll both grow together. Give it a bit more time then check in again - if you still feel the same, maybe you could make a change then

i posted on here two years ago. we rehomed our dog in the end and he’s very happy with his new family. we still see him sometimes. that was the right decision for me, but i also know a lot of people felt much better after a few months and kept their dog. three weeks is a short time, try to give it a few more weeks if you can before you make a decision. take breaks away from the house when you can so you have a bit of time away to think. good luck, sure you will make the right decision x

I just don’t know what to do. No exaggeration I did not stop crying for 6 hours last night. I feel numb. Every single day I feel worse. My boyfriend won’t even entertain the conversation of possible re homing. The breeder said if there was any issues to bring him back to her, he would have a fantastic life with other dogs on a farm in Scotland. I know 3 weeks is a really short time but every day I feel more and more upset, I can’t even do every day tasks and I’m barely eating. I can’t see me ever loving him but is that just because of how I feel now? Will I ever grow to even want to tolerate him in the house? I’m trying so hard, I’ve done all of his training, I make sure I’m playing with him a lot every day, I’m giving it everything I have but I just don’t feel anything.

i really feel your pain, i was exactly how you were. i post so much weight it was the skinniest i’ve ever been! no one understands it until they’re in that situation. maybe sit your other half down and explain how bad you feel, and see if he will agree a timeframe with you eg if you’re not happy by week 6 then you have to get the dog rehomed. at least that way you have a possible end in sight in your head. x

I would try and give it another couple of weeks @Kcg15 but if you're crying for that long and your "D"P is adamant that rehoming is not an option, do you want to stay with him?

I absolutely know how you feel, I was there! But do give it a set timeframe, agree it with your partner. It's really really normal to feel like this at the beginning - a puppy changes your life and everyone's telling you it's wonderful but actually it can be really difficult. But try not to rush a big decision like rehoming, because you may well feel different in 6 weeks. If you don't, or nothing gets better, then look at rehoming xxx

I felt very stressed and anxious for a while when we got our puppy (lab). It dawned on me the huge responsibility I'd taken on for another life. The kids were a bit older and more independent and suddenly I was looking after this tiny needy creature. I thought she was very lovely but I didn't feel instant love for her. I also felt I'd never be able to go on a relaxing walk again worrying about her bothering other dogs or not recalling. I am not particularly house proud but I felt very distressed about the mud and hair everywhere. I have embraced it now and probably hoover a bit more to stay on top of it. The early mornings, disrupted sleep, toilet training in autumn/ winter and general anxiety about dog ownership are probably getting you down. From my experience, all of things get much much better.

If you really feel you are not up for it, then you could look at rehoming. Ideally you'd want her to go straight into a home situation rather than kennels. Your work colleague sounds promising if you decide you don't want to persevere.

Thank you everyone, so helpful to read your lovely support, and knowing I’m not the only one who has ever felt like this! I know it is a short time frame to adjust, so just reading your comments has really helped and I’m hoping things will start to improve in the next few weeks. Thank you everyone x

Also feeling a little like this v v early days but I think it's triggering how I felt on the early days after having my first baby. I feel anxious and trapped. Really wasn't prepared to feel like this. I've wanted a dog for years and years. This was not a light decision. Will just take it day by day....

@Kcg15 and @mogernator why don't you join us on the Puppy survival thread