I Don’t Love My Dog :(

[Together24]

We’ve had her 10 weeks (since she was 8 weeks old) and I still feel very little for her. I’m stressed out and really hating dog ownership.
It’s not her fault, it’s mine for not anticipating the reality of having a dog. Friends see me in tears and ask what I was thinking and the truth is I really don’t know. We researched for months and do have the time, space and finances to care for her - but not the love it seems.
She’s a really lovely pup. DH is neutral. He felt we had made a mistake at first too but now after the initial shock, he says we will keep her if I can cope or rehome her if it keeps meaning I’m so upset (constantly tearful, not sleeping, depressed).
I don’t know how long it will take, if ever, for me to actually want the dog in our lives and the longer I’m like this the less fair it is on pup and of course the kids.
The kids like the idea of a puppy (of course) but it falls to me and DH to do all the hard work. It seems like Puppy blues but still after 2 and a half months?!
I couldn’t have known how I would feel but it doesn’t stop me feeling absolutely awful.
She’s very well cared for, goes to classes, is housebroken and I spend time every day training and exercising her. I don’t mind any of it, it’s just that I don’t enjoy it. Every morning I wake up and my heart sinks with dread.
Has anyone got through this feeling and out the other side?
Or should I seriously think about rehoming (through a proper breed-specific charity etc to get the best home for her, I wouldn’t even consider anything less)?

[pigsDOfly]

I was going to come on here to say that your DH really has to have more input into this puppy but just read your last update and see that that is what he's going to do. I can't believe you've been the one getting up at 5.30.

You sounds like a very responsible person and a great dog owner and maybe that's part of your problem, especially given that you're going through an incredible hard time with your health.

Picking up on what you said about when he's asleep you're anxious about when he's going to wake up and you're back on duty with him. You really don't have to be with him, entertaining/training him during all his waking hours. He needs to learn to be self sufficient and how to entertain himself and to just sit and relax.

Puppies can be incredibly hard work, as you know, but I suspect your sense of responsibility is making it harder for you to relax around him and get some fun out of him. You can take a step back sometimes and just relax and enjoy him.

I think it's a very rare dog owner who hasn't had regrets at times about getting a dog, especially in the puppy and adolescent stages.

I hope the two week period works out for you and you decide to keep him. But if you decide you can't keep him, please don't beat yourself up about it. Rehome him responsibly and he'll be fine.

And stop being so hard on yourself.

[missbattenburg]

old thread so am guessing by now OP is either happily in love with her pup or it has gone to a new home...

[pigsDOfly]

Oh yes, so it is, only a few months though. Hadn't noticed that.

Well I hope it did work out for the OP and she's now happy with her dog.

[lovemylover]

Please dont send him to a rescue, he could be put in kennels,with other dogs,he needs another home environment, if you do decide to part eith him,but check the home he will go to
I hope you can keep him, he will grow out of the puppy stage
If the person you mentioned earlier who offered to have him will give him a good home,i would let him go there .at least you will know how he is being cared for,and not wonder if he is ok

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

@lovemylover A young healthy puppy would not snapped up, and wouldn't be in kennels for more than a few days, if that.

As private individuals we don't have the resources to properly vet prospective owners. Rescues do. The consequence of that is that a few days in kennels results in a home, for life, that is far more likely to be suitable for the dog.

I'm sure my dog's second owners thought they vetted his next owner properly. The reality is that 6 weeks later she moved out of her flat and abandoned him there. I don't believe she would have passed the home checks at a traditional rescue centre.

[lovemylover]

Avacados yes i know what you are saying, i was more thinking of letting the dog go to the people she knows who offered to take the dog

Looking for a home herself unless she knows the people would be risky i agree, wasnt thinking of it as a puppy
I hope the OP can cope with it eventually and grow to love it,with help from her family sometimes if you contact a rescue they will have someone in mind who are looking for a dog
I helped someone rehome a puppy through a local rescue and the dog never even went into kennels,so maybe contact a rescue and ask

[lovemylover]

Just seen myself this is an old thread,hope the puppy found a good home

[stillnotjustamummy]

Weekly Chemo must be exhausting. Let you colleague rehome your pup!

[joystir59]

Is it the incredible responsibility and how totally at your mercy she is, and howxrrustibg and vulnerable OP?

[Jennylg29]

I adopted 2 amazing cats 3 years ago and although they are the most perfect cats in the world, never scratching, never bothersome, sweet and kind and cuddly, I can’t seem to stand them. I formed no love connection with them in the 3 years I’ve owned them. I have tried everything to love them. I loved a cat prior to this so it’s not that I don’t love cats. The connection between us just never happened and it’s something that cannot be forced. Keeping an animal and having depression over it, isn’t worth it. Animals can sense our emotions and this animal you speak of is much better off with an owner who does love it. It’s like staying in a relationship with someone just because your parents like the guy... doesn’t make sense to your personal well being. Do what makes you happy and peaceful. And don’t ever feel guilty for not forming a connection with a pet. Love cannot be forced.

[Lynne1Cat]

Are you sure you're not tired, sad and crying because of the chemo?

It seems very odd to me that you'd discuss having a dog, get the stuff required, do the things the dog needs, etc., and then say you don't want it.

If you DO rehome the poor thing, please don't get any other animal until you are healthier and your mental state is better.

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

This is an old thread

[YearOfYouRemember]

@Together24 - how is your health now and did you keep the dog?

[Chapterandverse]

Hi, ive just read this and wondered how it panned out? Hope you're feeling ok xx

[Kkhern]

I feel trapped, she is noisy and guests are afraid of her jumping. She chews furniture, clothes. Anything and is expensive

[Hoppinggreen]

I mostly just survived having a puppy so I could have my lovely dog
Puppies are hard work both physically and mentally and I used to cry with guilt because I didn’t love hopping dog enough. I think I fell in love with him at about 8-12 months, to be fair I was the same with DD!
He’s 3 now and I really really love him (Dd is 14 and I love her too)
BUT if you do want to rehome then it’s ok to do that if you think it’s the right decision an your ddog is young enough to be ok

[Hoppinggreen]

Crap, old thread

[TheoneandObi]

I felt just like this with my first dog. Couldn't bond during the puppy months. Hasted him at times. But boy did he eventually grow on me. By the age of two he was like my shadow. He died last year and was honestly The Best Dog in the World. Now we have another pup (well, nine months old) and I still have moments when I wonder why we bothered, and Husband really can't bond yet. But slowly slowly he's winning us over. I keep telling him that one day he'll be a Great dog like our last one. I do think it's early days and people who coo about how brilliant puppies are aren't always telling the truth!

[missbattenburg]

@TheoneandObi it's not early days for this pup who must be over 18 months old by now

[Lamomza]

Omg, I feel exactly as you do (or did). Did you end up keeping your dog or rehoming her? I simply don’t enjoy having a dog...it’s a total bummer. We’ve had our pup for four months now and I am wondering when I will fall in love. Just hoping it will happen soon. Good luck.

[Tom093]

Hi if the pup is making you sad he will feel your sadness be best to find a good home for it someone you know who would care for it well you've try you best

[Honeyroar]

The op hasn’t posted on Mumsnet for over a year. I hope her and the pup are both ok.

[AMSpoon]

I'd love to know how this story ended, whether everything got better, or OP had to rehome. I found this thread because I'm feeling exactly like OP. I've had my rescue dog for around 5 weeks now, and I'm training with her, we're consistent, playing with, walking her, etc but I just really don't like owning a dog. I literally do wake up each day with a sinking feeling, and when I'm alone I stress so much that this is it for the next ten years (dog's only 2). 10 years of feeling miserable. It would be great to know how these kinds of things pan out. I promised DH (who loves the dog) that I'd give it 12 weeks (i.e. 3 months) and see how I feel then. I wonder if the stress somehow melts over time??

[Michelakk]

@AMSpoon how did it work out for you in the end? I'm literally in the exact same position right now, I've been googling and came across this thread. I have a 10 week old pup and I have the exact same thoughts as you right now and it's just so horrible I cant even explain the guilt I feel over this!

[Speckledhen617]

For those feeling the same. Our pup is coming up to 12 months. He's felt like a huge mistake at times, i can't believe the amount of work its taken to get him to this age and if you met him on a bad day you'd think I hadn't done a dot of training with him. I'm starting to love him though, he's starting to feel like part of the home and a member of the family instead of a mess making imposter. The love is still conditional but I'm coming around. Hang in there if you can.