my darling is on her last lap - I need a bit of support

[Wordsaremything]

my beloved girl dog is now 17.
We've been together 16 years.
Her back end is going, so incontinence and collapsing happening
I know she's on her last lap
I have a kind and wonderful vet
I do the nursing and clearing up, but I can't get my head around losing her
She has good days and bad days
Today has been not good and reality is hitting
I get up every day and put on my suit , drive to work, and do a responsible professional job and even laugh but am dying inside.
Love you so much Meg darling.

What a roller coaster it has been.

Meg had another seizure, followed by vomiting. By Friday evening when I went to collect her she hadn't eaten for 24 hours and could barely stand. I had to carry her home. I called a friend round to sit with me as I was convinced this was the end and I was starting to lose it a little.

In desperation I microwaved some cod, mixed it with rice and offered it. Wolfed down. Ditto second portion. Lazarus-like she rose from her sick bed, pottered around , and asked to go out for a pee. We walked around outside for ages and this morning she was back to normal.

Told all this to my vet. She agrees with the frequent tasty meals plan, and has sent off blood and urine samples for a full work up which will be back on weds. There was a little blood in the urine, so she's got penicillin for possible infection - which could also be causing the confusion and the incontinence as in elderly people- and we've also started her on a tiny dose of anti seizure medication. That is quite heavy stuff, so I will monitor closely. Next steps to be decided when the lab results are back.

She confirmed in her opinion there was no clinical need for euthanasia at this point. I could have wept with relief to hear this as I do not want my love for her to cloud my judgment of what is in her best interest.

My little dog has the heart of a lion.

Wow...you're both going through it aren't you!

I know what you mean about feeling relieved that the vet told you it isn't time yet. I'm sure you knew that in your heart but I remember only too well the angst that you might be kidding yourself.

You're not, it's official now. You're just giving your girl the chance to enjoy the remainder of her life with love and lots of tasty treats.

Give her a squeeze from me

Just coming back to say it again, you'll know when it's time for her to go.
The good days are far outweighing the bad, it seems to me.

mutts and mine thank you. Your kind words brought tears to my eyes.

She's beautiful and an absolute trooper. You're such a great owner, it shows in her stoic attitude.

Thinking of you both

She's beautiful - what a lovely face and gentle expression. My heart aches for you.

We lost our dear little westie three weeks ago at the ridiculously early age of 11 and a half. She isn't the first pet we've had to let go, and will not be the last (we currently have another 3 dogs and 2 cats), but it never gets any easier - to be honest each is harder than the last.

But remember that you saved her life - and in return she enriched yours; you have given each other so much love and companionship over the years, and although you will miss her terribly she will always be in your heart.

Hello all, and thank you all for your lovely comments. Meg is doing really well, although she is suffering some side effects from the anti seizure medication, though these should wear off in time. The tics and tremors are much reduced too,

Today she's had a busy day with my friend - a trip into town and two little walks . I came home and opened my arms wide in greeting. She forgot she was elderly and a bit poorly and charged towards me, even managing to stand on her back legs with her front paws on my legs. She really is astonishing!

Still waiting for results on blood and urine samples.

... And twokids - I am so sorry to hear about your lovely Westie.

She's a beauty op. Give her a big ear scratch and a belly rub from me.

I think if she's still eating well then she's probably OK for the time being. It's when they stop eating that you know they've had enough and are ready to go.

My old spaniel refused everything in the last few days and kept taking himself off to lay at the bottom of the garden. It was December and we could see him shiver with the cold so we had to keep going down and picking him up and bringing him back in. He was trying to go and slip quietly away. It was heartbreaking.

The one thing I always say at times like this, when it comes, is please do call the vet out to your house. It's so much nicer than taking them away from home.

Fingers crossed your girl keeps going for a good while yet.

Ooh those eyes! Don't they just melt you

Have connected to wifi and popped in to see how you and Meg are doing, what a lovely update! How wonderful to have that greeting from her. So pleased all is going well. Lets hope the vet has some good news when you get the results, and that she soon gets used to the seizure medication. I don't know if its the same for humans, but my husband had to start taking seizure meds last November, just the lowest dose, and it certainly took him a couple of weeks to get used to it. He has no ill effects now.

posie ! ! Oh how kind. mutts , arabella

And all and everyone.

Well the bloods came back and I had an agonising hour between getting a message to call the vet and actually speaking to her. Basically she has mild anaemia, but her kidney and liver values are very elevated.

Which is probably a bad sign in the long run, but we have decided against further investigation as realistically what is to be gained. My vet was very clear that Meg is not wanting to go anytime soon, having read my long descriptions of her daily activity, and is clear she is not in pain and still has a zest for life. Basically her time will come, but not quite yet, and my vet will guide me on this.

It could be that most of her symptoms - tics, confusion, urinary in continence- could simply be. U t i. And I have to say she has been clean indoors for three days now, on the antibiotic.

We have slightly reduced the anti convulsant as I felt that was having a heavy effect on her , and we will see.

Meg says Hello! Here I am waiting for my chicken to be ready!

adorabella sorry
It's The long name of one of my cats, too! How could I get that wrong!

What a beautiful girl you have. I made the heartbreaking decision to have my 13 year old lurcher put down last year, she had been with us since a pup. I found the worst part was between making the decision and the visit to the vet, knowing what was to come. My view was that she'd been there for me all her life so I was going to be strong for her at the end. I took advice from the vet, had a last weekend where she was spoiled rotten and made sure I didn't cry until she was asleep in my arms (then the tears came for days).

My advice is to keep listening to the vet, and you'll know when the time has come, and it will be so hard but things do get better. I still cry for her and can't watch vet programmes without shedding a tear but I can also talk about her and smile / laugh now.

Enjoy the precious time with your beautiful girl and know that you have given each other such happiness, hope that you have a while longer with her

And paddy hi, tummy rub administered

I'm so sorry if I miss people. Am on tablet and it won't scroll up to check messages once I start typing so hard to keep track of responses.

Each and every one is truly welcomed and warms my heart.

I am so proud of my darling old birdie and so delighted you can all see how beautiful she is.

She is beautiful and looks very like the terrier we had when I lived at home. You sound like such a loving and amazing doggy parent. Wishing you well.

froggie I have thought a lot about that too. I would like her to die here in her home, in my arms, when the time comes, and the vet will come, but I can't imagine the agony of the hours or days between the decision and the day itself.

I just can't get my head round it at all.

I am so sorry about your loss. Lurchers are one of my favourites.

Maybe we could start a separate in memoriam thread for those we would like to remember. I would love to see photos of everyone else's beloved ones.

Glad you've got the results back and know what you're dealing with now. At least you know she is not in pain and that your instincts were right.

Keep those chicken dinners coming Mum!

Thank you wolfie. She has the determination and largely the looks of a long legged terrier with the intelligence and coat of a collie.

She was a terror to begin with because of her disrupted background and my inexperience, but matured into a perfect gentle sweetheart. Thanks, it has to be said, to my ex, who knew dogs far better than I did.

They went away together without me to Wales, stayed in a caravan , and did lots of playing and walking in the mountains and sitting in pubs after, and when she came back she was changed, her eyes, previously a bit blank and odd, had the love and depth in them that you can see now.

Try not to get too bogged down with the mechanics of what may eventually come. You have no way of knowing exactly what the future will bring or when so it would be impossible to plan in any detail. But yes, at home, surrounded by the smells and sounds that she knows, and held tight in your arms, that sounds pretty much the best that any of us could hope for when our time finally comes.

My own sweet girl is currently snoozing peacefully beside me. She's only little but somehow manages to squish me right up at one end of the sofa while she stretches out taking up two thirds! And I wouldn't have it any other way

Hello mutts it's Meg here. Mmmm chicken! Chicken breakfast, chicken lunch and chicken dinner's what I'd order!

Just another update. Things pretty much the same - we're tweaking the medication so she's on the lowest possible dose to control her symptoms, and this seems to be working well. She sleeps a lot but gets a burst of energy at lunchtime which is when we go for a gentle walk. Her waistline has definitely expanded.

We may keep her on the antibiotic long term to prevent further water infections. She doesn't pee inside any more.

The only issue is that's the one med I can't get down her without a struggle. Concealed in a treat - eats the treat and spits out tablet. Ground up and hidden on a piece of chicken? Refuses the chicken.

The only solution is to mix it with a normal portion of food when I know she's ready to eat and is likely to polish off the lot - and hope she doesn't notice the hated powder once she gets going. That or try to put it down her throat which she hates. I may ask if it's available in liquid form. That might be easier. Any other suggestions very welcome!

I hope you are all doing well. Meg sends woofs to all her human and doggy friends .

Bless Meg and bless you too- what a lovely family you are.