anyone else got a massive puppy that is just a dick head?

[cbigs]

This is Bernard . Bernard is 6 months old and the size of a small horse . And yes he's a puppy but he's also a total dick. He pulls everything off the work tops , he reacts really manically to other dogs when on the lead, he chews everything he finds, we're not stupid we understand puppies are puppies but holy shit he is hard god damn work , and he's bright white. Who . Buys. A. White. Dog .
Just wanted to moan and see if we are alone in this .

My kitchen is white pipin just like my dog so I really feel your pain . Although dolly looks ace to be fair

Hah, this is the thread for me today!

I have a medium-massive dickhead - 11 month old Springer, who is 90% fabulous, and 10% fucknut. Her biggest problem is that she just lurrrrrrrrrves visitors - she gets so bouncily hysterical, that you would think I kept her in a box and she never got to see a human ever. I had an electrician friend round this morning (he's one of her favourite people) and she was so utterly thrilled to see him, she bounced on him and punched him in the bollocks four times and headbutted him once before I yellow carded her to her crate. Her tactic is that she sits nicely for attention (albeit quivering with excitement, but I have at least managed to train her to get her bum on the floor), and then when the favoured human rewards her with some attention, she shoots up like a rocket and either catches them in the nethers with two fat paws or nuts them in the face. She's a fucking liability!

But I love her to bits, she has the cutest squooshiest face in the world

Bernard just ate three quarters of a roast chicken of the kitchen counter . That was mine and dp's tea. so I'm going to embarrass him by putting this picture of him in the bath looking devoed on here.

This is my big idiot, she's 2 now and still a puppy

This is ours, with a random smiley thanks to DD. This is his "Me? No, I haven't been up to anything. Is that a [insert food item here] I see in your hand?" look.

When he was a few months old I told DH we were never having a dog again, I wouldn't be without him now. Most of the time.

When he was two he ended his career as a ditch diver by impaling himself on something that necessitated £600 worth of stitching and just before christmas he ended his career as a guts by eating his dinner so fast he blocked the entrance of his stomach, blew up like a balloon and needed an operation to get it all out. That was £2000 plus slow feeder bowls. Scared the crap out of us, Vet told us if we'd hung on for another half an hour before bringing him in he would have probably died. Git.

Hurrah for pet insurance.

At five he still zoomies around the house and snores enormously. Love him, but he's still a git.

I have a 6 month old Scottie, he's already been barred from the groomers

He likes to sit on a raised bit of our garden and bark at the neighbours when they are at their car. I tried to apologise and explain but the only explanation that came out of my mouth was "I'm terribly sorry about him barking, he's....just....being a dick really." Our neighbour was

I have a 6 month old shepherd husky cross who is an utter bellend. From morning til night. He wrecks everything, jumps all over everyone and everything and can't sit still pretty much all of the time he's awake.

But I do love him a lot. Fuck knows why!

Jeez Louise mashes! £2000! For eating too fast! That is harsh . Bernard now has 'I ate your roast chicken ' diarrhoea (sp?) which is a real joy .
Very amused about the Scotty banned from the groomers do tell that story .
Beautiful pics on here . So glad we're in this together .

Just rembered other thing dickhead does. He poos and walks at the same time. Or kind of staggers, all bunched up.

So there's not one pile of poo to clear - oh no - last night was bad and he ended up with eight mini piles.

We have another dog too, so I calculate that's about 126 poos a week I have to find!

Took our dickhead to a puppy party this morning - the other puppies were all small fluffy types and he spent a very happy hour running around flattening them all.
I had to remove one from his mouth and return it to the owner sopping wet and the owner of a white fluff ball thought theirs was dying when he covered it in blood from a loose baby tooth.
When we got home he got turfed out fo the kitchen for stealing a loaf of bread so he did a revenge poo in the hallway

pinkpyjamas I remember your first thread, you were such a good person to rescue the puppy. Lovely photos and I hope the women stopped breeding after that.

Gutted - my darling boy ( no longer dickhead ) is at the emergency vets having being attacked by another dog.
Not life threatening but quite nasty, we are all really upset and when he comes home and dickheadness will be instantly forgiven!!

Awwww hopping sending love to your poorly dickhead . How distressing for you . Hope he's ok .

Oh poor dickhead puppy, how frightening for him and for you.

I'm going to stop calling ours a dickhead now as I love him desperately and would hate anything bad to happen to him.

though he did get in the car today before the boot was open properly and whacked his head on it. Is now scared of getting in car even with open boot

Another one here with a total dick, who is actually starting to turn into a delightful dog. But I let my attention lapse last week and he chewed up my favorite slippers. My DH is amazed that we are letting our standards slip and he is allowed on one couch, when his blanket is on it.

My 10 month old GSD is a total twat too! But God do I love the twat!
He jumps at everyone, loves a puddle, tries to sit on your lap, last night he ate my hair dryer... All that and I wouldn't change him for the works

Hopping hope your pup is on the mend.

I came home at lunchtime on Friday to find dickhead puppy had decided to eat the sofa. He'd pulled off one of the seat cushions and chewed huge chunks of foam off it. The sofa will never be the same again.

He'd also kindly left me two steaming piles of poo on the kitchen floor.

I've forgiven him.

Thank you all
He's sleeping off his general in his bed . One eye is swollen shut and he has stitches in hs gum but will be ok n a few days I'm sure and back to twattery in no time.

Glad he is doing ok Hopping. Sounds very dramatic, but he wil bounce back well, I am sure.

Ah spam he is lovely, what breed is he? I've got Dolly booked in with the mobile dog wash tomorrow to get her used to it. She's far to big to be going in our bath now.

I have a one year old springer. He is not a springy springer as he is nervous of the entire world.

I always say he was born without his spring. Lol. To be honest he is very quiet and was easy to train when he was really little. In fact I would like another one and it wouldn't faze me at all having to do the whole puppy thing again.

Pippin - he is a Rhodesian Ridgeback, and he has a hard life because he follows in the mighty footsteps of a perfect dog, who was my husband's soul dog. But he is doing well - less of a jerk every day. He is 18 months old now.

Look at this asshole.

Oh I'll just lie here politely, looking for all the world like a non-dick.

No. Not having it. He weighs 80 lbs and is almost a year and eats everything in sight and jumps all over everyone and barks and...well. He is very house trained, I'll give him that.

His name is Zeke.

2 years ago I'd have said I had twatdog. Thankfully she calmed down a couple of months later, at the grand old age of 10.

Then I learnt what an actual twatdog was, when we brought YoungGirl back from the municipality where she was about to be put down probably for being a twat

A PP said their rescue dog had never seen outside or sheep or stiles or anything - ours doesn't appear to have been inside.

She freaked at an attempt to put a collar on her, and then a lead? WTF? She didn't get it.

She's turned into a lovely girl, she's about 2.3 now, ish. But she's still a twat. She steals all the toys, puts them in her den, and barks at OldGirl who tries to get one. OldGirl then comes over to me, all 'human, wil you help me get a toy cos she's being meeeeaaaan, AGAIN!' And looking all sad and bullied

We had to put a lock on the utility room door where the dog food is kept. Twatdog can get in.

She only jumps up for a cuddle when I'm wearing new clothes, so her dewclaws rip holes in them. Never old clothes, always first day I've bought them. She's almost as tall as me when she's stood up, so this is around boob level.

We call her Alan. If she's looking for something, she meerkats at us on her back legs. Which is quite cool actually, given that she's 5 foot tall like that. Even cooler is when she's meerkatting and gets excited, she kangaroo hops towards you doing happy woofs

She's very reactive too. But I've learned now our visitor has gone that she seems to think it was a punishment bringing him here - she's gone much quieter now she has her house back

LOL selkie, my aforementioned asshole is terrible with visitors too.

He has calmed down somewhat with us but is a maniac with everyone else.