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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Crap you spouted pre-dog, that you now know better.

42 replies

Sossidge · 29/10/2015 18:25

Inspired the thread in chat about human additions to the household, did you say any crap about your future dog before you got one?
Prior to getting our puppy from a pound I thought 'great, she'll be a blank canvas that we can teach to be really cuddly and a replica of the beloved old girl!' Nope. She came pre programmed with a very distinct personality which remains the same a few years later.

I thought if we just loved her soooooo much, that she would always come back to us when off the lead. Nope.

Only the finest 5star rated £65 a bag food for my girl! Except she doesn't fucking eat it.

OP posts:
Nearlycaughtawoozle · 29/10/2015 18:30

Dogs shouldn't sleep on beds. DDog1 prefers to sleep downstairs but DDog2 makes a brilliant hot water bottle Blush

LeaLeander · 29/10/2015 18:34

I would never tie myself down to a dog.

Poor saps who have to get up in the middle of the winter's night to let out their dog while I snuggle blissfully under the bedclothes. I'd never let myself in for that chore.

I'd never let dog hair accumulate on my floors.

I'd never let a dog lick human plates or cutlery.

Fools who buy Halloween costumes or holiday sweaters for their dogs are wasting their money.

All of the above and more are words I have been eating for the past couple of years....

Greyhorses · 29/10/2015 18:37

I always looked down my nose at people with dogs that aren't perfectly well behaved.
I was going to do everything right with my puppy from day one to avoid any behavior problems.

Turns out I have one nervous agressive and one obessive compulsive HmmBlush

BestIsWest · 29/10/2015 18:58

Ha ha, we're picking up our new puppy tomorrow. I will not make any if the mistakes I made with our last boy, oh no.

Original poster
Sossidge · 29/10/2015 19:14

I used to hear dogs barking like mad on walkies and thought it was weird that their owners didnt get them to stop. Now I have a barky fucker and no, nothing stops her except plugging a ball in her gob, if she'll take it over the lure of running towards roads.

OP posts:
ggirl · 29/10/2015 19:28

I used to think my last dog was so well behaved cos I was so fabulous at training her...roll on to the next dog ....different breed and completely different personality ...almost impossible to train.. I blush at how smug i was ..first dog was compliant and biddable breed ...nowt to do with me.

ChairRider4 · 29/10/2015 20:11

Dogs should not be on the furniture . Yup my boy likes to sleep on sofa and is allowed to and I love him snuggling up as do DC

insan1tyscartching · 29/10/2015 20:43

Dogs should know their place and do as they are told. Eric knows his place at the heart of the family and equal to all and he does what he's told eventually, if he feels like it Blush
I don't understand why people talk to dogs like they are children. Eric is a fantastic listener and even replies to my wittering. Some days I speak more to him than any other human.
I couldn't pick up poo/ clean up dogs that have rolled in horse /fox/cow muck/ rotting animals. The poo is a daily occurrence and the bathing is weekly at least as Eric delights in stinking.

nightmarehair · 30/10/2015 07:59

That if people socialised their dogs then they wouldn't be aggressive, that came back to bit me in the ass twice.
The dogs would be allowed on the furniture by invitation only, mdog just hops on without an invitation.

nightmarehair · 30/10/2015 08:00

Bite*

chelle792 · 30/10/2015 08:04

I used to think that it was always the owner who made a dog aggressive and if I socialised and trained him well he would be perfect.

Nope - he turned aggressive.it's taken two years worth of hard work to make him less nervous aggressive.

Archer26 · 30/10/2015 08:06

More DH than me. 'He isn't sleeping on the bed, he will sleep downstairs in the kitchen.'

First night ' oh he looks so sad, we'll just give him a cuddle on the bed for a bit'. 5 years later and this pic says it all.

Crap you spouted pre-dog, that you now know better.
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 30/10/2015 08:43

I'm not really a dog person but we'll get one cos everyone else in the family wants one......... Blush Grin

Collared · 30/10/2015 09:13

It's weird to have a dog sleep in your bed (ahem) DPs new rule that when we got a new sofa our dog wouldn't be allowed on it. That lasted all of 30 seconds.

peasareevilcreatures · 30/10/2015 10:26

I was led into a false sense of security by my friend's shih tzu that they couldn't climb the stairs so she said wouldn't be able to get upstairs. Put poodle in the mix and they are bloody bouncy they can get up on anything.

Also I would only feed kibble as it's better for their teeth, fussy puppy gets wet food as it's the only thing she'll eat (just like a fussy toddler!)

Dieu · 30/10/2015 10:34

These replies remind me of having newborn (human!) babies, and how smug I was at thinking that I'd get it all right. Ha. ha. ha.

IamSantaClaus · 30/10/2015 10:39

My house is already complete chaos with dcs 2.5 and 14 months there's no way it could be much harder with a puppy ... It is . It makes my life 5 times harder but in no way do I regret getting her , she's adorable .

Crap you spouted pre-dog, that you now know better.
orlakielyimnot · 30/10/2015 20:46

Well. We've bought a new much bigger very expensive bed because the dogs, who weren't meant to sleep with us, do.

I shell out any amount on health care because they are far more worth it than I realised.

I cry when they have injections or any discomfort.

If they are happy I'm happy.

Where I grew up dogs were farm/untility animals. Not so in my house apparently!

hennipenni · 30/10/2015 22:20

I don't like dogs- never ever will I have a dog.

Now live with 3 of them.

Ok so if we're having A dog (not 3) it's not allowed on the sofa.

All 3 dogs know they can sleep on the sofas.

My dog will be well trained by me.

All 3 dogs have trained me to their exacting standards.

I could go on and on and on......

orlakielyimnot · 30/10/2015 22:23

Ooh. And I recarpeted not according to my style preferences but according to what hides dog hair!

Nearlycaughtawoozle · 31/10/2015 11:08

I recarpeted not according to my style preferences but according to what hides dog hair!

Grin. I've just been discussing with a friend about choosing floor tiles that are "muddy footprint" colour

Focusfocus · 31/10/2015 11:13

Well my first dog was when I was 11 in India where training isn't really a thing. Current Ddog is one, so I had no misconceptions :-)

However DH - whose first dog ever current Ddog is had the following crap he spouted which he now denies as he is head over heels besotted with Ddog even while cradling his 14 day old newborn

  1. Dogs will not go on the bed Ddog is currently sleeping on his snoring throat
  2. Dogs will eat after humans Ddog eats before, with and after humans and then some
  3. Dog will walk out of the room after humans bah is all I can say
  4. Dog is a pet not a child laughing my arse off at that as he and I truly alternate between newborn and dog not knowing who on earth is cuter
  5. Dog will never lick human plates we have a dirty secret is all I shall say to that
  6. Dog will never pull on the lead dog never learnt to walk on the lead
pigsDOfly · 31/10/2015 12:44

I'd never have a dog, I'm a cat person. Dogs fawn all over you and just want to please. Only people who want to dominate and control something have dogs.

All I can say now is that Ddog doesn't see any need to please me really unless it suits her: i.e. she gets a treat. So who's pleasing whom. This is very apparent when she stands across the park waiting for me to call her back so I can treat her for her excellent recall.

When I'm sitting on my own of an evening while my very independent little dog is on her, or my, bed upstairs rather than on her bed in the living room I realise that I really didn't know dogs at all before she came into my life.

And as for controlling and dominating her? Not sure when that happens, perhaps when I'm scritching her back for ten minutes while she lies there with a look of bliss on her face.

Shriek · 31/10/2015 14:21

Never been without many ddogs and adore them to bits, but even so, there were rules that I had growing up. Never let ddogs kiss your face!

  • i've since had tongues in my mouth [damn they are so quick!]
with lots of adorable ddogs i have found i have stuck to most rules like them waiting for me to go through doors first, etc. otherwise i would be completely run over (as they are big and very bouncy too).

oh yes and that one resounded with me that they are pets/animals not DC! - turned that one on its head when vet told me one ddog might not make it through the night, i slept all night with my arms around her in the best spot in bed (under the duvet!) so that i would wake if she started fitting again. Happily vet was wrong and my judgement call was right and she's still very much happy and healthy and still here.

Oh and nursing a dpup all night like a baby, literally carrying in my arms (very heavy 2mth old).

My 'utility' ddog approach softened considerably! and i lick all the plates in my house so ddogs dont' get a look in Grin

GissASquizz · 31/10/2015 14:27

A dog needs an alpha human and must know its place in the pack.

Only aggressive breeds show aggression.

Dogs that show aggression have a killer streak bred into them.

I was a complete idiot.