Crap you spouted pre-dog, that you now know better.

[Sossidge]

Inspired the thread in chat about human additions to the household, did you say any crap about your future dog before you got one?
Prior to getting our puppy from a pound I thought 'great, she'll be a blank canvas that we can teach to be really cuddly and a replica of the beloved old girl!' Nope. She came pre programmed with a very distinct personality which remains the same a few years later.

I thought if we just loved her soooooo much, that she would always come back to us when off the lead. Nope.

Only the finest 5star rated £65 a bag food for my girl! Except she doesn't fucking eat it.

[lighteningirl]

I don't want a dog I'm a cat person: was tempted to kick next doors cat when it rejected dog's friendly advances.
Not going to let dog on bed, l actually bought a dog bed with microwavable pouch heater bit: we now spoon me spooning ddog dh spooning us both ddog is not on the bed tho technically he is in it as he sleeps under the duvet
I won't have a dog begging: I feed him off my fork
I won't be responsible for it it will be your dog: I actually can't bear to think of losing him or even leaving him cancelled our holiday abroad for dog friendly weekend away.

[Sossidge]

Ahh, see we knew from before we even got her that she would be in the bed with us, and having them lick the plates means I don't have to rinse them before they get washed, and we got a second hand sofa big enough for all of us I carried her so much when she was a tiny baby that I truly thought I might be affecting her hip development.

[SweetLathyrus]

"My dog will not be allowed to jump up, will walk nicely to heel on the lead, and will have perfect recall"

The stupid thing was - I knew he was a spaniel; all of the working cocker spaniels I know bounce like tiggers, pull like trains, and are a bugger to recall between 8 and 18 months .

Although right now, he is asleep under my desk, as calm as anything

[salixcaprea]

That our adopted dog wouldn't be allowed on the sofa ...

... that rule lasted half a day!

[salixcaprea]

Oops, there was meant to be photographic evidence posted with that!

[SoundFury]

That he would have a perfect recall and us being long term students with flexible hours would fit well around him not being left.
In general he can't be let off the lead as he will bolt to greet anyone or anything, I've often found him in restaurants being dragged out by a waitress.
He has separation anxiety so we do things like take it in turns working from the car in the university car park so he doesn't have to be home alone.
My studies are based around zoology / animal behaviour.

[SweetLathyrus]

Oh, and I spent weeks sitting on the floor with SweetPup, because I thought DH didn't approve of him on the sofa . . .

Guess who I caught hauling Pup up and having a sly cuddle? All downhill after that!

[pigsDOfly]

Good grief Salixcaprea are you sure you've made him comfortable enough?

No wonder he's got such a bit smile on his face.

[salixcaprea]

pigsDOfly

great nn btw!

[pigsDOfly]

Thanks :)

[salixcaprea]

This morning he is sleeping on one of my (many) laundry mountains

[TheTigerIsOut]

I have had dogs all my life, so don't remember what I might have said before but I have a friend who, after having cats forever, is getting her first dog ever soon and I am finding the comments of her child a bit amusing.

Admittedly they have done their research, they are getting a St Bernard from the more expensive breeder they could find. But seem to think that the dog will turn in the fabulous St Bernard of old movies just by adding food and water.

Things I have heard over the last few weeks include:

-StB roll around on their backs if you keep a threat in your hand and move it in circles.

• The breeder doesn't do it for the money, he only breeds each dog once a year, the dogs live in kennels and are always monitored by CTV camera. he only have 6 breeding bitches and wants £1000 for each puppy because the kennels are expensive to keep.
  
• The puppy will be socialised when we get it because the breeder keeps the radio on in the kennels
  
• StB are very calm and don't get over excited when people knocks at the door.
  

i am equally fascinated at how surprised they have looked when I mentioned that puppies need to go out to the toilet several times a day , that you have to teach them not to wee inside the house, that they need to be walked 2-3 times a day, that you need to pick up a huge amount of poo when you walk them and about the amount of food they consume.

[justgoandgetalife]

We'll get a dog only if I don't have to walk it all the time.

[SweetLathyrus]

Tiger, do you really think they have done their research? They sound delusional.

[TheTigerIsOut]

They definitively have read a lot about the breed, but I think they are focusing in the positives because they like the looks of the breed so much.

Thinking of that... I might have done the same eons ago... I convinced my parents, who know nothing about dog training, that the best option for us was a dalmatian... heavens! As much as I hate to accept it, my mother was relieved when the dog was stolen, she had even taken a wet dog out of a working washer!

[LumelaMme]

Dogs are only barky and appear aggressive if they are badly socialised.
Hah. I ticked every bloody box when it came to socialisation and I ended up with a reactive dog who makes his feelings known about strange dogs VERY loudly, and is none to keen on bikes and joggers either (except us: we can bike and jog and that's just dandy).

And if they are like that, you can train it out of them.
Hah again. How many hours have I spent on the playing fields with him on a long line, bribing him with treats? He's better, but he can still be a little shit.

Now I'm one of those people who calls, 'Oh, he's fine really, he won't hurt you/your dog.' Because he won't, he's a total coward, he just sounds repulsive. Really repulsive.

[ImportantSpanielBusiness]

I like to think I love all dogs, all of them, even the relentlessly snarling schnauzers and Jack russells who terrorise everyone because it's not their fault they were bred like that, but when any dog come up to my little darling, with dickhead body language and lunges at her throat, I turn into a demon. dont you dare touch her! Fuck off! Go!!

I went to a dog fun day for charity and ours was sent to the 'small dog' field, I thought 'ugh..', but upon seeing a field of huskies and Alsatians behaving perfectly normally I realised if my dog had been in there I would have been freaking out.
TLDNR: I'm a hypocrite and an overprotective asshole.