Ive had a golden retriever puppy 4 days....and changed my mind

[Eliza22]

Does this happen? I feel overwhelmed.

Story...

My son is 14 and has autism and OCD. He has no friends despite many many efforts. He is high functioning. We've had his name on a list for an autism assistance dog for years but he's now too old for the list. A year ago, we sourced a breeder and decided to get him the doggy companion ourselves. So far so good. Two litters went by....no bitch for us until now.

The pup is beautiful. Full of energy but very clever, as these Goldens are! But, my son is tearful and upset (and so am I) because we have a beloved cat who is 7. She has taken the dog very, very badly. Last night, my son came to me in tears saying "I miss Tallulah (the cat), I want the dog to go away if we are going to lose Tallulah".

I should add....I'm 53 and menopausally emotional at the best of times. Have I made a massive mistake? We've had the idea of a golden retriever companion for our son for so so long, what HAVE I done?! I feel like ringing the breeder and saying keep the cash....I've made a mistake.

Help!

She is gorgeous ,glad to hear it's all going well .

Gorgeous. We had a goldie who lived to the age of 15. Boy, could she moult.

Aw she's lovely

She's lovely :) I'm glad it's all worked out ok

Eliza I feel your pain with the mud thing. Our lovely girl is now 5 months and loves puddles, mud and digging. Roll on the summer .

lovely pics there, Wellies. My girl is 8 months next weekend. We go on a walk in the morning on a muddy field with a little pond in the middle of it (made by the rain). I have to accept, what with her webbed feet and all, that it's her breed and I simply cannot keep her out of mud/water.

Our remaining walk of the day is a more sedate pavement walk

She is just beautiful!

Lovely update Eliza :)

Just caught up with all of this and I'm so pleased it worked out for you and your beautiful dog and that you are clearly getting so much enjoyment from her. I hope things have settled with your DS and the dog provides some companionship - even if not walks! Can't get my two out with our dog either in this weather. I have a digger as well (Flatcoat)

so sorry to hear of your upset after much sought after researched and planned for dpup! this is really sad

what have you done with the intro of dpup and dcat? i wouldn't leave it long before actually doing a controlled intro and making sure dpup is cautious of dcat (for obvs reasons), and that dcat feels boss, if dpup needs holding then do it that way. My dcats are intro'd to the dpups very young and have learnt to box noses (they are so gentle really and keep claws retracted but it teaches the dpups to have a little respect and any that have crossed the boundary have let out a little yelp of surprise!).

I think its about knowing the dcat and the dpup and knowing which way to tackle it depending on each's(?) personality.

dcat must definitely have a hideway, maybe can live upstairs with litter tray until feels a bit braver and things have settled down.

If you really feel its too awful then sooner the better for contacting the breeder who will easily rehome a well-bred dpup that there will probably be lists for.

Best solution i can think of is to have experienced dcat/ddog handler to do some introducing for you or decide the way ahead of least resistance. without much experience i was also expecting that this would be received as a big change for your ds and possibly going to be very difficult initially.

i would be tempted to keep dcat upstairs whilst things calm, dcat will venture forth when feeling braver, and if you are really worried about effect on dcat make sure it can't get out, like when moving, keep in until settled.

feel for you, but you can keep them separate and go slowly with everyone.

oh dear!!! massive x-post again tonight for me!

what great news, so pleased to hear this success so far, and such lovely pics. what a lovely girly.

Thanks Shriek

My 9 week old Goldie boy is really driving me nuts but reading this gives me hope eliza. The cats are actually not too bad with him, it's the broken sleep, nipping and copious poo that's making me wish I hadn't bothered!!!
I'm sure we will get through it and he is very very cute ( at times)

Lovely to hear your update.

Ahh, Hopping... That 9 week bit was hell for me. I was endlessly torn by the absolute knowledge that she WOULD settle and grow into the dog I'd always wanted and the "Oh f**k, this is NOT what I expected and I just don't want to continue". This thread and all the encouragement and reassurance I got from the many replies to my post really did keep me going. All I can say is, it WILL settle and for me a huge turning point was 17 weeks when we could finally leave the home (all injections complete).

I've made mistakes (for sure) but mostly I'm very pleased with my perseverance as I have done it alone. DH and DS love her but I've not had a lie-in for 6 months and no one else walks/feeds/brushes her. But, she is a gorgeous girl, makes me laugh constantly and yesterday I was a very proud "mother" as I saw her paddle in a local pond and on venturing in, disappeared under the water. Just as I gasped and had visions of going in after her, up came her golden snout and then she started swimming a perfect doggie paddle back to me, standing on the bank. Her legs were paddling away in that lovely gliding motion and she instinctively just knew how to do it! Clever, clever girl!

Thank you to everyone on here who kept me going!

Stick with your puppy, Hopping you will not regret it

eliza thank you. Am smiling at your description of her swimming
I read your Op at the time you posted it and I think I commented then ( we were still in the planning stage) and your story and others on here make me realise I'm normal!!! I am also clinging onto the happy memories I have of our Goldies we had when I was growing up and be God my DC will ( hopefully) have the same
I can't wait to be able to take him out ( and wear him out ) too.
Worst bit is he adores DH who didn't ever want him and is hardly here but considers DD who adores him to be his personal chew toy!!!

Hopping, our 22week Goldie girl was like that at that age with DS who is 3. She has stopped feeling the need to test her mouth on us and has become a gentle girl for the most part but does need reminding every now and again. We're pretty much through the teething stage thank God and I had plenty of 'WTF have we done' moments initially. At the moment she still has access to only the kitchen and utility room with the lounge and playroom gated off to allow the children to play in peace and I can properly supervise any contact between them and the dog. This morning, DS called her over to him so he could give her a cuddle because he 'luffs her'. It's just lovely to see her finally becoming the dog I knew she would be.

I think a dog was a good idea, but a puppy is really hard work. An older dog ( maybe one from "Oldies Club") might be an idea. Firstly you could choose a cat friendly dog, secondly might your son find the idea of helping a dog who is having a hard time in life a nice idea? We have had two older dogs from rescue and both of them have been fully housetrained, well mannered and honestly no trouble at all ( we don't have a cat so they were not needed to be cat friendly). Many older dogs needing homes have had their owners die, go into care homes or need a home following divorce. If you have not already done so I'd return the puppy to the breeder, leave a gap of a few months and start again with a more mature dog.

OOPS sorry, that will teach me to read the end of the thread! Pleased it is going so well for you.

Just read whole thread, what a lovely outcome.

I might be inclined to 'push' the cat a little bit. Carry her into the sitting room and encourage her to stay on your lap.

Now that the dog responds to commands she will maybe not approach, or DS could sit by the dog and keep her back.

I have had 3 dogs and stream of rescued cats over the years and did try this quite successfully after some natural settling down had occurred.

I would make it so that the cat could escape after a couple of minutes and just keep trying.

Hello all!

my girl is now 10 months! She's doing well and is a constant source of pleasure along with all the much, hair and twiggy bits that get stuck in the Hoover . She's off and way in a couple of weeks, to boarding school. Having some intensive training with a gun dog expert to tweak bits of behaviour that I'm losing and endless battle with. Lead pulling, recall (does well until there's anything more interesting to take her fancy....like a leaf or half a Pringles cannister). Will miss her terribly but, needs must!

We went in a long walk this morning. She sneaked something back home and crashed out with it, in the garden.....sleeping baby! Love her!

How're the rest of you all getting on? Hopping/Wellies/?

Must try to get the dummy off her now....

Sorry....typos. Just found my glasses!

I love her! Congrats on getting through the hard bits - it's what makes you love 'em.

Says me [Mum] to 6 month old lab.

Never saw this post before, and I was so sad reading the beginning of it, but I'm sooooo unbelievably happy you stuck it out (as you must be). I remember those puppy days being HARD, and we didn't have any children at the time or other pet to think about. They really are worth it, though.

Gorgeous pics. She is lovely and so glad to read the happy ending. My girl is nearly 4 how ( Labrador ) and she still drives me crazy at times, but I love her to bits. I remember the tears at the start, when I just didn't know how to cope with her, she still has her moments, but they are so worth it! As you now know. I hope she enjoys her holiday away - and make sure you get a lie in whilst she is away.💤