Ive had a golden retriever puppy 4 days....and changed my mind

[Eliza22]

Does this happen? I feel overwhelmed.

Story...

My son is 14 and has autism and OCD. He has no friends despite many many efforts. He is high functioning. We've had his name on a list for an autism assistance dog for years but he's now too old for the list. A year ago, we sourced a breeder and decided to get him the doggy companion ourselves. So far so good. Two litters went by....no bitch for us until now.

The pup is beautiful. Full of energy but very clever, as these Goldens are! But, my son is tearful and upset (and so am I) because we have a beloved cat who is 7. She has taken the dog very, very badly. Last night, my son came to me in tears saying "I miss Tallulah (the cat), I want the dog to go away if we are going to lose Tallulah".

I should add....I'm 53 and menopausally emotional at the best of times. Have I made a massive mistake? We've had the idea of a golden retriever companion for our son for so so long, what HAVE I done?! I feel like ringing the breeder and saying keep the cash....I've made a mistake.

Help!

I, too, have an ASD son. We got our border collie when he was 14.

It was crazy difficult at first! Two years in, she's 'grown up', selectively trained and calm...and DS is besotted.

Gammon that's good!

Eliza I've been following this thread. I don't have the DS issue but I know how you feel with the crazy puppy. I was convinced mine was psychotic at one stage. He was so naughty,chewed everything etc. and yes he also did the growling and biting when I tried to take things he had found from him. I was bitten once or twice before I realised it is just better to get a treat to "trade" for whatever you're trying to get back. I always loved him as he had moments when he was the most adorable cuddly little thing. He did everything - including what seemed like deliberately refusing to be toilet trained, knocking lampshades off lamps, shredding bras, ripping apart cushions, snaffling food from the pavements etc etc etc

Anyway 18 months on and my dog is the love of my life. He couldn't be more good natured and he is friendly and gentle with everyone. He was much more manageable from about 4 months old. I think the biting thing is they don't understand why you are taking things from them that are THEIRS. Look up resource guarding. Very common and very different from a vicious dog.

Puppies are a nightmare but persevere - they're SO worth it

Thanks Juicy

Out to a country pup today...

She is SO gorgeous

OP I hope things are continuing to improve and the whole family is now hopelessly in love with her. She is just adorable and getting very big

Mateysmum ..... I agree, adorable and getting very big and....digging

Oh my goodness, that photo made me laugh!

Glad you're still persevering with her, hope things continue to get better for you all.

I don't have the same issues as you have had with your DS but I felt the same about my puppy a short while ago and actually posted on MN about my feelings. He is now almost 8 months old and I love him to bits. I can't imagine not having his company each day and seeing his delight when I come downstairs in the morning to let him out of his crate.

I think it takes time to adjust especially if you're a cat owner, a dog is a very different proposition to a cat and far more needy. The demands of looking after a puppy are quite shocking to those of us who aren't used to them, but the rewards far outweigh the difficulties.

I absolutely love that last photo by the way. Proper muddy puppy!!!

Just caught up with the photo - she looks more like a black faced sheep than a golden retriever!

Oh god, that muddy puppy picture is lovely

Brilliant photo , it's a look all goldies should try .

I'm glad that things are improving - she is totally adorable! I also had large moments of doubt after we got our puppy. I had three small children and two cats and the dog was so full of energy I thought I'd made a terrible mistake. She did settle after the initial craziness. She's three this month and so lovely and gentle and calm. I wouldn't be without her but the puppy days were tough - that's why they make them so cute! The cats learnt to love/tolerate her too. She isn't allowed upstairs so they knew that was their terroritory and they've always stood their ground so she backs down to them. She totally loves them. It take a bit of time but it did all work out. Good luck with it.

Ohhh she's so gorgeous! I'm soooo puppy broody at moment, even the toilet training in early hrs do any put me off, Id love to afford another (and yes, I've done it many times so not just pipe dreams! I foster and rehab for rescues so had many a pup / dog needing all basics)

You'll get there, it just takes a lot more time and consistency than many people expect - hence so many young dogs in rescue, people seem to expect them to come ready training, and when they hit later puppyhood / early teens and aren't so cute, they just get rid rather than doing the neccesary work

You'll look back at the stressful first weeks with fondness one day Eliza, promise! They never grow out of finding the muddiest puddles to dive in though! [grinthe cat will come round too, may never be beat of friends, but puppies are usually quick to learn of the sharpness of cat claws, and understand the cat rules!

(Or just give her to me! )

Nope....!! Keeping her now. She's MINE...ALL MINE!

Adarajames, it sounds like you do fantastic work with the rescues

I think that's very selfish of you Eliza and you should be old enough by now to learn to share!

Umm, let me think about that..... No.

Told you!!!

I went from daydreaming that some kind person would turn up at the door and offer to take dog away, to, today, quite prepared to defend dog with my life. Golden retrievers are ace. Friendly, loyal, gentle... If only they could do a spot of diy they'd be so much better than a husband!!

Rhoda ... I've already told my DH "don't ever...make me choose!"

I had to laugh at your photo of the two tone retriever - I had one of those not so long ago too - she adores water/mud and is often two colours - I am slightly dreading the winter as I had to rinse or bath her more or less every day!!

Panicmode... Tell me they grow out of it?

They grow out of it Eliza

(Like heck they do!?! :P )

I liken it to someone wading across a creamy white shagpile carpet, in muddy wellies, most days of the week! !

Umm, mine hasn't (she's only 10 months though, so perhaps she will!!) hopeful face

We only have hard floors downstairs, bar the sitting room - and she's not allowed in there if she's wet and muddy - my pale grey carpets were acquired about 6 months before the decision to get the dog...not such a great buy with hindsight!