My dog is a Fucking Twatface.

[monkeyfacegrace]

Why? Just why do dogs turn into twats at around 8 months old?

Monkeyfacetwatdog had a lovely recall.

We walked for an hour this morning over the fields, she romped with other dogs, chased balls and butterflies, and rolled in fox shit. Fun fun fun

So why, oh Jesus Christ WHY, whenever there is the slightest gap in the front door when the kids are coming in or out, does she make a beeline for it, and then RUN AWAY.

I call her, she looks at me to say 'you dumb bitch', then legs it. Oh bouncy bouncy isn't this fun I'm going to play with the foal next door, or knock over any children in my way and hop like a bastarding new lamb in front of anything that gets in my way.

Ha brecon one of my twats is JRT.

The only way we can get him to come is to ostentatiously praise Twatdog2 "GOOD BOYYYYY TD2 CLEVER BOOOYYYY" as then TD1 thinks that TD2 is being given a biscuit that he's missing out on, so he comes charging out of the undergrowth or wherever and is able to be recaptured. Greedy wee pig.

Kleptronic - I didn't get a price hike last year and I'd made about 4.5 k in claims...it was only after this year when I ran out of cover that it jumped up and to be fair, if nothing else goes wrong with him this year, I'll break even from his longterm stuff anyway. If a behaviourist would be covered (it isn't with mine) are you with petplan? Because I don't think they're bad for raising prices at renewal time anyway.

My twatdog is a Rottweiler - which is why we've had to take the behavioural stuff really seriously.

Mostly he is great, he's an affectionate clown who is delighted to learn things...it's just that he can't cope with the fact that other people and dogs exist outside those he knows well, lol. Just because I hate to be all negative about him.

My ten month old twatface took that dreaded trip to the vet this week.
I had had enough.
Not only does he no longer recall, as he's grown he can reach more things in the house to trash. And on top of that olddog has decided that of twatface isn't going to come back to me then why should she.

I'm hoping taking his bollocks will help because if it doesn't...

No it's MoreThan, Tabula, PetPlan was waaaay too expensive. Hmm I might ponder claiming then. It'd save me £100.

I'll have to get someone in, his fixation on DS is unbreakable. The singing, leaping and aerial collie nudging is beyond. DS is 10 so is coping, but we can't go on like this!

If anyone's got any ideas I'd be grateful. He's trained, walked twice a day to the beach, has balls/frisbees/footballs to catch, gets a kong, a pig's ear, has a cat and a tiny dog to herd. Never by themselves for more than 3 hours. Sits pretty, struts, dances, weaves, you name it. DS works him too and he does it happily. Just relentlessly fixated on the boy.

Could be worse though, at least he's physically well. Your poor boy Tabula, hope his conditions are well under control now.

Best laugh I've had in ages.

He's currently - healthy, I think pain free and his behavioural issue is very slowly but surely improving, so yes, he's just doing his normal idiotic things mostly, lol.

Is it maybe attention seeking stuff he's doing? Could your DS try ignoring him and only giving him attention when he's not harassing him? Or has he tried that already?

My twatdog (the one who whines constantly in the morning) has been trained extensively. We went to puppy classes, to young dog classes, to gundog classes, to agility classes, to team building classes, to behaviourists... I think he needs a psychiatrist frankly. The amount of money I have spent on courses / special leads / endless treats trying to train this dog is ridiculous. Before he came along I'd never needed to take any of my dogs to classes, I just trained them myself!

I hate it when he runs up to something / someone, barking, completely ignoring my frantic whistling and shouting and you just know the person innocently jogging / owner with the other dog is judging me to within an inch of my life for not training him. All I can do is apologise profusely.

I have a secret tennis ball (the only thing he will always and without fail pay attention to) stashed in my coat for emergencies, and I rarely walk him out of a field I know, where I can see potential hazards a long way off.

I know he loves me to bits, and I love him too, but I can't trust him an inch!

My first dog (many years ago!) was much more lovely, but he had a huge twatmoment when we were on holiday. He came out of the sea dripping wet, water pouring off them, as it does, and stood OVER this poor lady who was sunbathing and then SHOOK All I could do was watch in increasing horror. Her husband practically killed himself laughing.

"My twatdog (the one who whines constantly in the morning) has been trained extensively. We went to puppy classes, to young dog classes, to gundog classes, to agility classes, to team building classes, to behaviourists... I think he needs a psychiatrist frankly. The amount of money I have spent on courses / special leads / endless treats trying to train this dog is ridiculous. Before he came along I'd never needed to take any of my dogs to classes, I just trained them myself!"

Snap...well we didn't get as far as agility or gundog as he broke before he was old enough to do agility, but he did puppy parties, puppy classes, obedience classes and classes with a behaviourist. My previous dogs were all rescues, adult or half grown puppies, some came with some fairly full on issues and we managed training fine, this one I was all excited about having a blank slate and I've ended up with huge issues instead, lol.

We've had to pull blades of grass from dickdog's anus several times this month. They were all about 10 inches long.
Now, when she stops on a walkie for a nibble of grass I go 'hell fucking NO' and drag her away.

Someone asked me what our old girl would have said was the best day of her life, I debated for a second and thought about sunsets and cherished memories, but in reality, I bet it was the day she found a rack of ribs out scumbag neighbours had thrown out the front of their house after a barbecue. Or the night she found:a slice of pizza, a box of curry chips, some unidentifiable mush, and a melting ice cream cone on one walk. And she was the best girl ever.

I present you TwatPug, six months old, who apart from being a twatface also likes to jump into ponds

Aw nice pug!

one of our twatdogs took DH's hair clippers out through the dog flap and into the garden yesterday,and then chewed them up. As they won't own up as to which TD did it, I shall deduct the £60 from their treat budget bastards