Dog really hates toddler DS

[TheHolyGruel]

I have posted about this before. I have two dogs (staffs) and a toddler DS who is 20mo.

My older dog (male) really dislikes my DS. He growls at him constantly and it is just getting worse. We had problems with this dog being dog aggressive but this has been overcome somewhat by walking him on a muzzle and walking the dogs separately. The dog has been checked by a vet, other than a recent worm problem (now sorted) there is nothing wrong.

We sought advice from a dog trainer/rescue person who we had a couple of sessions with. His advice re the toddler/dog situation was to put the dog down, as if something did go wrong then not only would it be a dreadful situation for us, but dreadful for staffies everywhere (another story for the papers etc, another crack in the BSL nonsense defence - I fully believe that BSL is bollocks and that the problem is not because he's a staff, but I'll talk about that in a moment). But I don't feel I can do it. In the meantime, any attempts to unite dog and DS are failing. DS is instructed to offer dog treats, to sit nicely and pet nicely, not to run up to dog, not to touch anything belonging to dog, etc. I make an effort for the dogs to be in the same room as DS as often as possible, but I am becoming worried for DS safety, as dog is really sounding at the end of his rope.

I honestly believe it is because the dog has been usurped from his position of 'first born'. The other dog displays no such issues, and is very fond of DS. The problem dog has always been the established top dog.

DH works away from home sometimes and has his biggest stint of the year coming up next month. He is away for a month, and I am petrified of how I will cope with this situation alone. It is so stressful.

In the first instance, does anyone know of a way in which I could find a foster carer for my dog, initially for this upcoming period, or is this unrealistic? He is fine with dogs smaller than himself and with older children (all children aside from DS it seems, in fact).

Can anyone offer any other advice or solutions? I think ultimately he will need rehoming, but I also know it's not that simple...

hairylemon that made me chuckle!
My sbt also likes to put her butt on the pillow next me at night whilst dh is at work, her starfish makes a pfft sound and then my nostrils are filled with the putrid smell of her farts!!

yea.....I really shouldnt have shared that.....

I was only joking, she doesnt even have a bum hole

THG
I had a different situation in that i had a gentle lovely big dog but after DD came i 'couldnt relax'. In fact was in blind panic. When I was a child family dog of years suddenly bit me. Took me months to rehome him (dog after DD). Again I know you have probs finding a home. What I want to say is it was heartbreaking for a good year. But now I find myself in enviable position of calmness in my house again and I am no longer sad for him. It will hurt like hell but you will come through in the end to a better position/place.

Oh the farts.........forget being eaten alive, Death by SBT Fart Cloud is a far worse fate. When mine farts she looks at ME with a stare of total disgust, grunts her displeasure and fucks off upstairs leaving me gasping for air.

One time mine farted on me and I swear I could still smell it when I got to work.

My sbt farts smell like rotten pepparami's, its put me off eating them for life

Jasper farts and then looks at his own arse in surprise....My dog is never going to win Mastermind, is he? :(

Dooin. Did I read right. Did you say that so far it hasn't bitten seriously. Meaning it has bitten 'non seriously?'

hairy refund on dog or classes?? id happily take both! :)

My own terrier snapped at me during and before training. And dd1 when DH ignored that he was not allowed on the sofa when the children were up. Dd1 got too close at time when he was still unsure of children, he left no mark, it was a warning snap. He bit (which is different to a snap - a snap is a warning that a bite will follow if the situation is not managed properly) my Dad when he tried using adversive training techniques on him, but not seriously enough to break the skin. And he has bitten DH (again only badly enough to cause bruising and again because the person training him tried to control him using force causing the dog to fear for his safety) He air snapped (i.e made a move to snap but did not make contact) when Dd2 fell on him. This was when his bed was moved somewhere quieter.

The dog belonging to my father has lunged at almost every adult in the house but only ever actually made contact with myself and my dad during training, we realised we had taken things too quickly for her and slowed down. It was our fault, we should have read the situation better and not placed the dog in a situation where she felt it necessary to do that. She has never lunged at or snapped at any child. She has never been placed in a situation where she felt it was necessary for her to do so.

I made many mistakes when training my terrier. I was new to dealing with difficult dogs and pushed him far too hard too many times and ignored his warnings too many times.

I am now more well read, more experienced and have trusted, experienced behaviourists I can call on for help when I need it, so the training of my dad's dog is going much better and although she is more fearful and more quick to give warnings she has, as you can see, not snapped as much as the terrier did. She is not placed in situations where she feels she has to, the way that the terrier was.

And you've worked with how many problem dogs?

I have a paved yard off the kitchen, it's not a garden but the dogs toilet there (DS doesn't go out here - we have a park opposite our house, we take him there) and sunbathe etc.

Just clarifying.

I did say "snarling" upthread but I didn't mean ferociously, I meant that the growl that was a grumble had become more of an intentional growl, iyswim? D0oin and the other dog people will understand.

midori, they are separate. Dog is actually muzzled too so no immediate danger.

The situation is under control, if it wasn't I would take the dog to be PTS today, but it IS, because I have experience with MY dogs and MY child and I know what works for us. The fact that I feel I will struggle with the situation if it continues forever does not indicate that my child is in danger ffs, it just indicates that I need to do something, which I AM, now that I feel able to.

My son is very happy and healthy, the dog is not dead. That is enough for me for now, until I can find an alternative arrangement.

Three. A rhodesian ridgeback, a collie and a mastiff (eventually pts). I've had lots of other dogs too and as mentioned before, own a rotweiler now.

I had no kids in my home when I had these dogs. I wouldn't have dreamt of mixing any of them with small children. Have you ever seen a dog go for someone? I have (not my dog). I would never risk it.

hi OP, glad you arent letting any of the hysterics get to you. Sounds like the situation is well under control until you can get something sorted. I know exactly what you mean about the 'Im a bit pissed off' growl turning into a 'look Im really fucking unhappy' growl.

Hope you can sort something out. FWIW Ive asked my brother if he knows anyone who might be able to help. He works with adults with SN and they go to farms quite a lot and hes got to know the workers so they might be able to put some feelers out maybe. We're not local to you at all but we'd sort something out if he gets any joy.

OP, so you think the snarl is not ferocious and even though the dog has been growling at your baby for two years, the situation is under control. It is just 'communicating' with the baby, you know, a talkative dog.

Ok, clearly you and Dooing have much in common. Best of luck.

Thanks, Flat, but it's not luck I need, it's a squeedgie for all this froth!

Of course he's not bloody talking, but there's not a lot I can do today short of setting him free in a park, as I am dealing with another crisis, and that would not be a responsible thing to do. What would? Oh yeah, what I'm already doing. So no worries there.

Thanks lemon, I appreciate you trying to help. I will be able to turn my full attention back to this after the weekend I hope. But the urgency now is making sure my tenants are safe and my roof is patched up! And don't worry, frothers, dog and DS are in separate rooms. They all quite like the excitement actually.

Someone on here who believes themselves to be a dog expert has a dog which has bitten members of the family and you choose to take their advice?

The instant any dog of mine snapped at my dcs they would be gone. I value my dcs safety far more than the welfare of any animal.Funny that.....

((((hugs)))) op xx

Oh for heavens sake OP just come back on tomorrow and post that you have had the dog PTS please, thats all they want to hear. Maybe post a few links to some google images of dead dogs while you're at it to really get the satisfaction juices flowing

Hyperbole makes everything shinier eh, Hairy?

Aye, theres a lot of it about atm

Holy, I am completely sympathetic to your situation. I think we all adore our pets, they are family members, not animals.

But I am curious regarding the trainer...did you think he was incompetent? Was he a dog hater or do you think he was just prejudiced against your dog breed? Did your dog behave uncharacteristically aggressive that day...? What made him assess your situation the way he did and why do you think his advice was incorrect...?

Btw, can you say, hand-on-heart, that your dog would not be a threat to any other toddler he came into contact with? There are very few child-free zones. I have yet to meet someone who has absolutely no contact with children.

Goranis, my terrier has not snapped at, bitten or even growled in an uphappy manner at adult or child for coming up to a year now, actually.

He has been assessed by and accepted onto a KC accredited training scheme with other dogs because he is no longer thought of as being dog aggressive and the behaviourist who runs the course no longer believes that placing him in a room full of other dogs would place him under undue stress. That is because of work I have done with him.

If at any point during training with him I believed he was an immediate danger to my children and the situation was no longer manageable in a way that was safe for the both the dog and the children he would have been removed to a child free home until a suitable rescue became available.

He is never left unsupervised with the children but will now happily interact with them under supervision and will take commands from them and accept their attentions.

In fact this is his new sofa since he is not allowed on ours when the children are out of bed, owing to past guarding of his space on the sofa He used to be scared of that sofa and would choose to keep his distance from it.