Should I rehome my 12yo dog?

[bushymcbush]

Bit of background:

She has been with us her whole life. She was born in our house. Before we had our first DC the dog was walked every evening straight after work (usually by me). After first DC born 3 years ago, there was a blip but once I was into the swing of maternity leave I managed to walk the dog almost daily. However, when I returned to work things were different - all my spare time was spent playing with the baby and the dog walks became less frequent.

Now I have just had DC2 - a premature birth and a needy baby, with our 3 yo still at home full time too - and the dog walks are almost non existent.

I have a lovely relative who has the dog for us whenever we are away. She would love to have the dog all the time. She is retired, has no other pets, and showers our dog with love and tit bits and walks and attention when she has the dog. She is more than willing to have the dog all the time.

In my head, I know the dog would be better off living with my relative. But in my heart I'm not so sure. The dog is extremely attached to us - when we visit my relative, as soon as we show signs of leaving she is practically scratching at the door to make sure she is coming with us. The dog loves my relative but she knows who she belongs with. Plus (less importantly as this is really about the welfare of my dog) we are extremely attached to the dog, and the thought of just giving her away after so long together makes me want to cry.

What should we do?

Start taking your poor dog on walks!

Snusmum - not helpful. Sounds easy doesn't it, but the reality is my high needs baby breastfeeds almost constantly, has hospital appointments all the time, my 3yo needs extra attention to keep her happy in the wake of the new baby, my DH often works in the evenings and the house is a constant battle to keep vaguely fit for human habitation. I suppose if I got up an hour earlier in the mornings I could walk the dog in the hopes the baby doesn't wake for a feed while I'm gone, but honestly, I need all the sleep I can get right now. Every week I resolve to find time to walk the dog and every week I fail.

Maybe I should ask my relative to have the dog for a fixed period until things have calmed down here - say 6 months.

What about a dog walker? Practically every area in the UK now has excellent, professional insured dog walkers, many with CRB checks. You can also go down the budget route - have a look in the small ads of local newsagent, or hire local teenager - many will be delighted to earn some extra cash.

Employ a dog walker or a babysitter so that you can walk the dog?

I think it would be sad to rehome her.

Could you ask your relative to walk her for you a few times a week for the foreseeable future?
Or advertise locally for a dog-loving neighbour to help.
Of offer a local teenager to help out for a couple of quid here and there?
A local rescue centre might be able to put you in touch with some of their volunteers, who may offer to help you with walking her now and then.

You must be exhausted with everything you've got on your plate right now, and I'm sure there are people who would be prepared to help until things get a little less stressful for you.

Send the dog to your relative for a couple of months until things have settled down at home - see how it goes from there - dog may have fallen in love with new home by then and want to stay permanently or your home life may have stabilised enough for you to be able to give enough time and take dog back.

I am sorry bushymcbush my last post was unhelpful and insensitive. I should have taken the time to answer your query in a sympathetic way, like the other respondents.

I hope you find a solution soon. Best of luck!

Bushy, if you decide to send your dog to your relative, please consider:-

Making sure microchip and insurance details are updated.

ID tag is updated to show new contact details.

Clear agreement on who pays for vet treatment, health care such as worming/fleas, vax, and who has final say in veterinary emergency - say if PTS decision is needed.

Legal liability if your dog causes a 3rd party accident (this can happen to even the best behaved dog).

Who will be paying for food and any other bills?

Personally, I would not do this, unless you had a clear, written agreement spelling out all this and that ownership is still yours. At the moment, if you give the dog to your relative, they take on ownership and then they are free to dispose of the dog as they wish. A 12 year old dog which could develop expensive health care needs could end up out of your family's hands and you would not be able to stop it. Or what happens if your relative is suddenly taken ill?

I am NOT trying to scaremonger but as a rescue volunteer who has also done courses on legal aspects of dog ownership I am trying to warn of some of the issues that I have seen first hand.

Take a look at the DogLaw website and seriously consider contacting a specialist solicitor on this.

Realistically though, it won't be that long before you can incorporate walking the dog into something you do with the DC and even at the same time as getting something else done.

If you're going somewhere you could walk to, take the dog, get your DH to take the dog and your 3 yr old for walks at weekends, teach your 3 yr old to play fetch with her - that's easily supervised while looking after a baby.

I second a dog-walker. It's really not fair on your dog to not be walked. Even once a day isn't really enough for most breeds.

Surely you take the kids out for walks? Why can't the dog come?

I feel so sad about this. My dog would think he'd been abandoned if my parents just left him.

Poor doggy, but do u and the DC not go out for walks? Surely dog can go with u?

My parents dog gets a ten minute walk at breakfast, ten minutes at night and a longer walk at lunch. If he's been out in the garden, he doesn't necessarily get a long walk at lunch.

Even ten minutes a day is better than nothing. Dogs like to be out sniffing and marking territory. Can't someone get up ten minutes earlier or go to bed ten minutes later?

Could you employ a dog walker, or ask your relative if she would like to take a more active role in the dog's life and walk her herself? Alternatively if the dog is well behaved on the lead there may be a teenager in your area who might fancy walking her for a pocket money?

Things sound difficult for you at the moment but it won't be long before you will want to be out and about with both DCs and it should get easier to walk the dog.

Another vote for dog walker if you aren't able to give her proper walks. Or get someone to come in and look after the Dcs for an hour or two each day so that you can take her out?

Could you or your dh/dp get up an hour earlier and take her out then? Thats what I had to do with our dog until ds2 started Pre-school. Is not so bad at this time of year but it is tough on cold and dark winter mornings, but needs must.

I wouldn't rehome her. She is attached to you because she has spent all of her life with you. She will be sad if she goes to live somewhere else. Is the relative close enough that they could help out with dog-walking (without making a claim on the dog)? Otherwise a dog-walker could help. She's an older dog now and probably doesn't need so much by way of walks as when she was younger. You have a lot on your plate right now, but things will get better over time. If you do rehome her, then Scuttle has some sensible advice. All the best to you and your family, especially the new addition.

What breed of dog is it? I ask because 12 is actually fairly old for most breeds so the dog shouldn't need a massive walk every day.

Could you not pop the baby in a pram and walk the dog out for 10 mins? Some dogs just don't need walking every day despite popular opinion.

Tbh, at the dogs age, I wouldn't rehome, I don't think it is fair and I second a dog walker if absolutely necessary.

To answer a few questions:

The dog is a cross breed in good health.

We have no spare cash - in fact we are have a budget defecit right now so we can't employ a dog walker. My relative lives an hour away by car.

Poor dog.

I've had a very high need baby - a walk in the pram did us both no end of good. It was also great for ds1, who would sit next to jhis baby brother and cuddle him. Can you really not work it into your day, if only for 30 mins?

I can't believe how judgemental some people are being, when you're clearly trying to do what's best for your dog. Hope you're not too upset - and congrats on the baby!

The main thing I am wondering is: does your dog seem happy, or is she clearly missing her walks? I have a 17-year-old dog who gets a five- minute walk around the block each night, and that's been the routine for a few years now. Sometimes a bit more, sometimes less. He is happy pottering around the house and (small) garden, and I know that he would never, ever choose to live with someone else even if they were able to walk him more.

If your dog was young, it would be a different story. But she's 12, and she loves you. In time, you'll be able to walk her more. For now, I bet she would still choose you, if you asked her.

poor bloody dog! She is part of your family, you wouldn't get rid of a child!

Agree with BerryPie

Your dog chooses you every time you leave your relatives house.

Ellenjames, I am not trying to get rid of the dog. I want what's best for her and I'm not sure that it's me. This is about the welfare of my dog.