Should I rehome my 12yo dog?

[bushymcbush]

Bit of background:

She has been with us her whole life. She was born in our house. Before we had our first DC the dog was walked every evening straight after work (usually by me). After first DC born 3 years ago, there was a blip but once I was into the swing of maternity leave I managed to walk the dog almost daily. However, when I returned to work things were different - all my spare time was spent playing with the baby and the dog walks became less frequent.

Now I have just had DC2 - a premature birth and a needy baby, with our 3 yo still at home full time too - and the dog walks are almost non existent.

I have a lovely relative who has the dog for us whenever we are away. She would love to have the dog all the time. She is retired, has no other pets, and showers our dog with love and tit bits and walks and attention when she has the dog. She is more than willing to have the dog all the time.

In my head, I know the dog would be better off living with my relative. But in my heart I'm not so sure. The dog is extremely attached to us - when we visit my relative, as soon as we show signs of leaving she is practically scratching at the door to make sure she is coming with us. The dog loves my relative but she knows who she belongs with. Plus (less importantly as this is really about the welfare of my dog) we are extremely attached to the dog, and the thought of just giving her away after so long together makes me want to cry.

What should we do?

Why not send her to your relative for a month to see how things go with your baby and three year old? Are you going to start sending the older one to nursery when she/he's a bit more settled with the new baby? That might be a good time to consider having dog back again.
There is a charity called PAPAS which can organised temporary animal care for people who are unable to walk their own dogs, they might have a volunteer in your area. They do expect petrol money.

I wonder, too, if you could get either friends or volunteers to help walk the dog for a while? (In my town, there is a charity that does anything from offer short/medium term fostering to dog walking. Nationally, I believe there is the Cinnamon Trust. Maybe try them?)

In a few months, honestly you may find it's easier than you think to manage the walks again. Our dog is lucky as my partner works from home and she gets out at least four times a day. However, if he has to travel I have to manage, and at first I just couldn't see how it could work. For me, putting the baby into a good baby carrier means I can take her for long walks in our local woods. She loves it- and I think it has helped her to bond with our baby. Now I only have to look at the sling and she gets all excited.

Obviously you have a lot more on your plate- and having to consider rehoming your dog must be really distressing. As others have said, though, maybe a temporary move might be an idea, just in the short term at least.

For those suggesting local rescues or Cinnamon Trust, I think it's unlikely they would help with walking in this case. A home with two healthy adults in it would not be a priority.

Advertise on gumtree for a dogwalker. I used to walk a dog (for free) as the owners circumstances had changed temporarily and was struggling to find time. DH and I love dogs but our tenancy agreement prohibited pets so it was a win win.

Scuttle I agree that normally would be the case- but as the baby was premature and has health problems (I think, reading the OP) I wondered if they might consider them as a special case, since that seems to be what has precipitated this. They may have some suggestions at the very least- I know that our local charity would (we are involved with them).

If not, there may be a volunteering centre locally?

Lots of young dogs spend months confined after operations and survive without walks. Your 12 year old would clearly rather be at home, even without walks, than be left with someone else. As your children get older you may be able to walk him again but for now, keep him with the family he loves.

Dog walker. I'm only just about 8 weeks pregnant, but have had a dog walker for 18 months, due to a very busy job and also wanting to fit in lots of exercise. They love her, she comes 3 times a week and they get a really good hour-long walk with her. Other times, me and OH share the walking and always, but always ensure they have 2 walks every single day (unless it's pissing down, which they hate!!)
Our dog walker has even turned around the fitness of my 10-y-old, rather podgy girl JRT. Her brother is a proper athlete, and she was really starting to struggle to keep up. The dog walker has absolutely given her a new lease of life.
Seriously, at that age your dog may not react well to being rehomed.
I hope it works out.

Cinnamon Trust only offers help to the over-65's, that's why I suggested PAPAS.

bushymcbush I know that you said money is tight so you can't get a walker, but I wonder if you called your local rescue and explained your situation, would they be able to advise you of any volunteers in your area that might be able to help out with the walking until you are able to fit the walks back into your day?

I wouldn't put a 12yo dog into rescue. You have no idea where it would end up. There's a good chance that at 12 it will spend months in kennels and be very hard to rehome.
If your relative really loves and wants the dog, let it go, even for a small period, with the gaurantee that it will come back to you in a crisis.
If I didn't have a willing, trusted relative, known to the dog, I'd PTS.

I would send the dog to the relative, even for a couple of weeks, just so you can find your feet a bit.

(Presumably people let dogs stay with other people when they go on holiday?)

Surely the dog is walked at the weekends when your dh is home?

I've been thinking about your post all day - I don't like posting on Dog House anymore, but I have to say - Please don't rehome your dog!

I second 50shades firstly. Secondly, you love your dog and he loves you. There is no reason to rehome. As soon as you're mobile again, he'll get his walks. I had a premmie too and completely sympathise - he spent a month in hospital when my dog was barely walked. My DS turned out to be high-needs too and he was bf so always feeding. After getting DS home I realised the ONLY thing he liked was being strapped into a sling and taken for a walk. I used to do this even when I was crying with the sleep deprivation....and it always made ALL of us feel better.

So until you're more mobile, can't the neighbour take him for walks? Failing that, your dog will only go short changed for a few weeks - it's not the end of the world. My dog was ill recently. The only thing he wanted, above walks and even his favorite nibble (crackling!) was ME - your dog sounds the same.

bushy - I reckon sending your dog to your lovely relative for a 'holiday' for a fortnight or month might be a good idea. More for your sake than the dog's TBH - I bet the dog loves you more than her walks. I had a 'constant feeder' - not prem, no other DC and that absolutely consumed my time and energy so I've some idea where you're at. But, that phase will pass. In relatively few weeks you'll be able to take the baby out in the pram or sling with your dog and older DC in attendance.