My dog has bitten my toddler - new home needed urgently or PTS within 2 weeks

[lil88]

P is a former rescue lurcher dog is 7 years old and has been with us for over 3 years and been in and out of foster homes before we had her. It was not until we had her for a few months that we found out one of the reasons she was given up for fostering was because she has bitten a toddler climbing into her bed. She also has nervous aggression with other dogs which was only apparent after a few months with us and still suffers from separation anxiety. To cut a long story short, My husband and I were fortunate to have a baby nearly 18 months after we had homed P. With a young baby to cope with we knew it would be difficult to give P the attention she needed and also we had some concerns about the risk of P biting the baby at some stage and therefore had her up for rehoming at EXXX where she came from. However we have not had any one interested and despite our attempts to enquire with other rehoming centres, we have drawn a blank as they have either told us, to return her to EXXX, she was a difficult dog to rehome, or they had a long waiting list. Further EXXX has not come up with an appropriate foster home for her nor will take P back. Our baby is now a 23 months old strong minded child and she and P always compete for our attention. Indeed our LO can be rough with P who has generally responded with baring her teeth at our LO or run away from her. We have tried to tell our LO to be gentle with P otherwise she would be bitten but she does not listen. Things came to a head on Sunday, when my LO was bitten on the wrist by P after when our LO had patted her quite strongly and lost her balance and fell on P. This took place at the doorway of my kitchen. This incident has not fazed our LO and I only fear that matters will escalate. I am afraid that our LO's safety is our priorty and although P is not to blame for the incident due to the nature of our LO, we can not risk any future incidents which could end up with a worse result for my LO. We have decided that if P can not be taken in by one of the dog charities, we will arrange for her to be put to sleep in 2 weeks time. So can anyone provide a kennel or foster home or home P. We are based in Worcestershire.
This has also been posted in Lurcherlink appeals for help

I am so angry reading this.You have put your child at risk and now want to put the dog to sleep because you are a poor dog owner and a poor parent.

-You knew before your child was born that the dog had bitten a toddler who climbed into her bed.

-You knew she had anxiety issues before your child was born.

-You know your child can be 'rough' with the dog. The dog has responded to this by running away or baring it's teeth - a pre bite warning.

So you have an edgy, nervous dog that's bitten before when it's had it's space invaded by a child. And a child who is rough with the dog, which has tried to escape the situation and then given warning by showing it's teeth.

It's no thanks to you and testament to the general good nature of the dog that your child hasn't been seriously harmed. THE DOG BITES/SNAPS WHEN IT IS FRIGHTENED AND CAN'T GET AWAY. 'We have tried to tell our LO to be gentle with P otherwise she would be bitten but she does not listen' - Seriously? No, seriously? And your solution has been what exactly? To say your child is 'strong minded'????? The dog and your child shouldn't have been in the same room.

FFS, the OP did her best, she wasnt prepared for dog and toddler, toddler safety has to come first.

How abysmally low to call her a poor parent.

Im bloody lucky, my dog adores the DCs, she lets them ride her, but there is no way I could keep them separate because the older one can open stair gates, doors, etc.

I always feel sorry for ours, but she sits there, tail wagging a million to the dozen and follows the DCs all over the house.

sovery, tales like yours make my blood run cold. It doesn't matter what the poor dog seems to tolerate, it is never OK to allow children to abuse it as you have described. What if one day she's ill or in pain and they blithely try to 'ride her' (I am beyond horrified about this)? And what has your complicity taught your children? That it's OK to treat an animal this way, and that dogs are tolerant. It is children who grow up with these assumptions who make up the dog bite statistics.

You are being incredibly irresponsible.

Keep them separate. We had three dogs when DS was about that age and at times it was a nightmare, but the two remaining dogs (one was very old then and has sadly gone 'to live on a farm') are now fine with DS (who is now 5).
We had baby gates at almost every doorway. The only person that ever got bitten was me!

The OP did not do her best. What nonsense. The OP wants rid of the dog, thats obvious.
I have 4 children and 2 dogs, my children are not allowed to 'play rough 'with the dogs. No debate. An anxious dog that is being messed with and 'fallen on' will nip. Needs somewhere to go to to escape your child.

Have you tried contacting many tears? Have you contacted dogs trust? Have you contacted all the agencies you've previously contacted saying you have a date for P to be PTS and see what they say?

Fwiw, please don't get another dog. We have a rescue spaniel and 2 kids - one of whom is 20 months. Our 20 month old is a force of nature but she bloody well knows not to hit or be rough with our dog or cat. You have to teach your daughter to respect animals, my kids aren't angels believe me but they know not to chase birds at the park, touch unfamiliar dogs or be rough with our own animals. Its really important imo that these values are instilled in kids from the word go.

OP, you will find that there are some people on here who will always take the dog's side. I was once cornered with my 4 yo by a strange dog growling and baring its teeth, just for walking on the other side of the road to its house, and the owner didn't call it off for a good three or four minutes, even though my child was crying. Mumsnet told me, and I quote: "if the dog had wanted to bite you it would have" and basically laid into me for even being annoyed, as the dog was "just trying to protect its home"

To me, you should have rehomed it earlier, but I accept that it was very hard.

When I was little, we had a dog who would just get up and walk off when faced with all sorts - I remember my sister trying to ride it like a horse (obviously our parents told her off) and the dog just looked like she would have rolled her eyes if she could She was a lovely docile border collie -she had also had puppies, if that is relevant?

We had a more nervous and energetic dog later on, when we were teenagers, but I wouldn't have left it unsupervised with my DC - we didn't live there, so it wasn't hard. Keeping an animal who lives with you apart from your toddler would be really hard, and is only a temporary solution.

Do EXXX know that you are planning to PTS? If your poor girl is the one Im thinking of then you have been trying to rehome her forever. I actually feel really sorry for her.

I know someone locally who's very into greys and lurchers - I will ask them if they know of anyone suitable.

My dad had a jackrussell that just wasn't fond of young kids and I am certain would have bitten at some stage had he not used stair gates, supervision and cracked down hard on us five children with regard to respecting the dogs boundaries. The dog was very much loved by us all despite his grumpy nature and died after 16 years with us last year

Whilst I can understand your concerns regarding the biting, I don't understand the threat to PTS. Totally unnecessary. Until you can find another home, step up supervision, don't tolerate your toddler messing with the dog and hopefully your dog will find a more appropriate home.

I think the OP 'withdrew' from the dog as soon as she knew she was pregnant and therefore has not been putting in the very hard work needed to make this situation work. I am unimpressed that she is trying to blackmail people in to taking the dog by saying she has two weeks before being pts. I notice she mentions her location - not prepared to travel far then to rehome? Ugh

Fucking hell sovery you allow your kids to ride your dog? Are you bloody mad???

Sovery stop the riding the dog ... one day it is very likely go go wrong.

Dh had a dog like this, except one day it bit him. It turned out it was ill, as an adult he wonders why it didn't bite earlier!

OP I think you need to acknowledge that you have failed this dog, you have got her from an irresponsible home (if it's true that you were not told her history before rehoming), you have not prepared her (trained) for the baby, you have not trained your child either or prepared your home for times when the dog should be separate from your child.

Plus I agree with others, I am really uncomfortable with your 'help me with rehoming or the dog gets it" approach, there doesn't seem to be much regret or remorse for a situation you are largely responsible for.

Please don't fail this dog any longer, rehome her.

All parents and dog owners should print these and put in on a wall where young children, other parents and family are constantly reminded of their duty of care to both dog and child.

info.drsophiayin.com/Portals/13722/docs/SY%20How%20not%20to%20interact%20poster%20Proof3.pdf

info.drsophiayin.com/Portals/13722/docs/SY%20HowToInteract%20poster%20Proof3.pdf

DOGS TRUST.They are great.You could make a donation as well

I'm just
I'm sorry I simply cannot understand why one would not make more of an effort especially as it seems the dog has tried to avoid confrontation in the past. The child's personality seems to be a fait accompli and OP are you sure you have tried hard enough to make sure the message goes through?
What lessons will your daughter learn from this?
That any animal she cannot treat right will go away? She will not learn how to behave around a dog.
I lived with my grandparents for a few years when a toddler. They had two dogs, one of whom was a nervous dog and indeed had bitten my mother quite badly in the face years before when she had been a young adult (it was entirely her fault, she acknowledges). It was always very clear what the boundaries were with that dog. The boundaries were different with the other dog who genuinely liked to be around children/ didn't have nervousness issues.
Please, I beg you to reconsider.
Unless a dog has reached a very different point, which to all accounts your dog has not reached, it is unfair to let her die.

As absolutely none of this is the dog's fault it is hugely unfair and wrong to be considering putting her to sleep (and surely any vet who agrees to do this has questionable professional morals). As you feel unable to cope with the dog and your child then rehoming the dog is obviously the right decision but if you can't get her into a specialist rescue centre surely you should be contacting Dog's Trust or RSPCA etc!

I do also feel that you need to acknowledge some responsibility here as you are the adult and surely cannot expect a small child or a dog to act on anything other than impulse!

We had 2 dogs before our dcs were born. Nearly a decade later we have 3 dogs and dcs. The 2 oldies do not like children. Frankly I don't blame them. We sought help from a behaviourist before dc#1 was born, as keeping the family together was important, and a dog is for life. We have worked hard with training both dcs and dogs and to date we have had no accidents. It is absolutely my responsibility to keep everyone safe.

You have spoken to your daughter about the consequences tk her if she roughhouses with the dog. Have you explained it in terms of "P is very unhappy when you do x. P
Fees very sad" etc? That might work.

By "patted her quite strongly on the head" I'm reading "hit her."

Yet this is the dog's fault?

I must be reading a different op from the majority of you. As sad as it is for the dog, rehome or put back into rehoming centre. Children always come first. If you are not 100% sure that he wont bite again, and that you will effectively be able to supervise both all the time or keep them separated (and afaic thats one of these easier said than done jobs) then it's not worth the risk. I can guarantee if you post on here in a few months time saying that your dog managed to bite your child and did serious damage, and that you knew this was a possibility, but tried all the above suggestions, you would be absolutely slated for keeping a known dangerous dog around a toddler.

Sovery - you let your dc ride your dog???
Have I read that correctly?
From a practical point of view, dogs backs are not meant to bear weight. You are being very irresponsible, not to mention unfair to the poor dog.

OP - you need to put something into place to protect your dog. It sounds like it had severe preventable provocation. Please don't have it pts because you allowed your dc to hurt it, instead, supervise the dc around the dog and show her how to be gentle - its not impossible, I'm managing with my own toddler, and managed with my other 3 dc before him. It's perfectly do-able.

Wow at the attacks you are getting here on MN, OP.

You re-homed a dog and was not told by the rescue centre the explicit reason why the dog had been abdoned. It's hard to police 24/7 what your DC and the dog will get up to or to have known previously what kind of relationship they would develop

Quite clearly your DC and dog dont mix very well and in your shoes I wouldn't hesitate to do exactly the same as what your planning. At least the dog has had an extra 3 years of life with you because going from the details you've given it sounds like the dog would have been euthanised if you hadn't had come along to rescue it all those years ago

Titty, of course the child comes first, but this has happened because the op allowed her dd to treat her (already nervous) dog badly, and hurt it.

This was, and is, completely preventable. I think the general opinions here reflect that, and the fact that the op has failed her poor dog.