Why does the doghouse have to be so critical and judgemental?

[minimu1]

My day is generally spent with dog ignorant people educating them on what is best for their dog.

When people post a thread on here showing their ignorance of dog issues they get slated, told they are lying and that the OP who is usually on the ground with the dog does not know what they are talking about. Moral and cruelty issues are banded about as if the OP has no idea that rehoming or PTS a dog is a horrendous situation - that is why they are asking for help after all.

I have been forceful on here (probably when I am in a bad mood and have regretted it) however it is necessary at times to make people see the importance of an issue but to personally slate the poster is not necessary.

I come on here as I can "do" dogs - I am able to help with training and behaviour so when people are struggling it is no issues to just pop on some advice.

Does the general tone of The doghouse have to be so unwelcoming and critical?

Good god - did the bumping idiot not see the other week where people rallied around to get a dog from someone on here a temp space to stay while trying to find a rescue for it?!

Nah - cos that wouldn't fit with what someone whom I've never actually seen post in here anyway has decided the place is like.

Deja - bit stunned by your post - do you mean to be so rude to thunderboltkid? I agree with her and with the OP of this thread. There is a lot of good on this forum and there is also some really awful stuff. No point pretending otherwise - the Doghouse is an area dominated by one school of thought and with some extremely focused posters who do judge others.

Thunderbolt - Information which they "were too scared to say publicly"? Really? Anonymous grown women on a site where the very vast majority are educated and intelligent? Scared of the words of a few dog welfare supporters? Really?

Or scared of publicly giving "information" when they knew that by suggesting or supporting a backyard breeder - for ALL Doodle breeders are backyard breeders, there is no such thing as a pedigree Doodle of course - they would be countered with solid advice based on experience and cold, hard facts with which they couldn't argue but they didn't want to hear? .

Particularly if they are one of those backyard breeders...

WRT that "one good deed" mentioned above - the thread is here.

This was Becky's first foster dog, sure (though I'm damn sure not her first or only good deed :o ), but it sure as hell wasn't my first rescue. I carry out similar "one good deeds" week in, week out and have done for years, often in far more dire circumstances, often with far less pleasant people in charge of the dog, often with even less time before the dog is to die. Which is why gobby here sometimes gets a tad pissed off.

As I do when most of the detractors come along not to offer sound advice, not to offer practical help as Becky did and I often do, as do other DH regulars, many of whom are also considered too outspoken, not to offer to donate to a struggling rescue as many of the kind and big-hearted Doghouse crew you're criticising have more than once, not to support dog welfare by advocating best practice but to slag off a DH poster/posters (usually yours truly) and take the focus off the central issue - dog welfare. And then, once one has done it, the bandwagon jumpers join in... yet do we see these guys offering help when someone is trying to get a dog moved to safety? Do we see many of them giving knowledgable advice when someone's seeking a dog or has to give one up? Are they there with their fingers on the Paypal button when a rescue is struggling to pay an unexpected vet bill? Do we see them following and commenting on the tale of a dog's journey from death row on the pound, to rescue and then to a new home?

Do we heck!

DBF Umm yes you do - the OP is heavily involved in rescue and dog training and education of people in dog welfare. I was at one of her lectures only last night

IIRC, after this thread 'happened' there was a sort of middle ground found where everyone tried hard to use friendlier language even in the face of angst-making posts - without compromising on the important issues, of course.

tbh, I understand how losing it with language etc is easily done in the face of stress and/or upsetting issues. I've done it (ask dh and the kids ).

And I also understand how scary and hurtful that can feel to be on the other end of, especially when one hasn't a clue what one is doing wrong. Personally, I find it much harder to hear and learn when I'm shouted at - so although I understand the shouty reactions, I also think firm-and-kind is likely to work better.

As it does with dogs

That said, I remember noticing that after this thread kicked off originally, everyone made impressive efforts to be polite to each other - and it worked brilliantly, I thought.

I care about the Doghouse and have had lots of support which I value hugely. I've also seen people do amazing Good Deeds, as Deja said. Which is why I think its important for it to stay healthy and reasonably unjudgemental so it can flourish and keep helping as many people and dogs as possible.

Without losing its character, if possible

notmeagain, I'm aware of the OP and what she does and have often admired her responses and taken training tips from her. I'm aware that she will haul out a dog in trouble, such as her ... erm... challenging... BC. She's not the person I was addressing.

Look at my first word.

When I first starting browsing The Doghouse, I DID think that it came across as aggressive and judgemental. That's because I knew NOTHING. I didn't know about backyard breeders, I didn't know the family friendly, endlessly loveable staffies (rather than devil dogs as portrayed almost everywhere else), I didn't know the RSPCA are animal killers. The Doghouse has taught me an awful lot, and yes, it is in a direct, no-nonsense kind of way, but that is what people need to hear.

Couple of years ago, DP started talking about getting a Huskie puppy (if we ever move, another story). I just made vague mumblings of agreement. Now I know that this would not be the dog for us in a million years, that a staffie would be perfect around the numerous grandkids, and that I could definitely find the perfect dog for us in a no-kill rescue. Now all I have to do is find the perfect job so DP can retire and spend enough time with the potential dog, and move to a better house - don't think The Doghouse can help with that bit though!

Hi - I'm new to mumsnet (less than a month) and have not noticed the doghouse to be that bad - I haven't been subjected to any abuse - yet

• the AIBU thread is extremely judgemental - as to be expected with the title of AIBU - but even on there if someone is rude/abusive/unwilling to listen to any other opinion then I just ignore them anyhow - maybe I have a thick skin or something... but I do like to "argue"......

Cult - I'll help identify a decent rescue, I'll repeat what to look out for as minimum standards, heck I'll even cuddle assess the dog in my own home but I will NOT help with moving. Not EVEN in return for chocolate.

Sorry matey, you're on your own there! :o

Wishing you good luck with it but gah, moving is the pits and I don't envy you that bit.

Moving [shudders]

Bytheway, have to agree - AIBU (the little I've seen of it) is scary and I haven't the time to waste spend anyway. Have to say, for a general scaredy cat I feel remarkably comfortable in the DH, so that says something too!

I think that's part of the problem Thunderbolt. Posters who don't visit the doghouse section often only ever seem to end up on the contentious threads, probably because they're bigger threads and pop up in active convos more often so they have a nosey to see what's going on and automatically assume the whole section is like that.

There are, imo, one or two posters who actively look for any sign of slight aggression on the DH threads, so they can either add to it and then jump and down shouting about how nasty we all are or simply just jump and down shouting about how nasty we all are. Other posters then come along and jump on the bandwagon so to speak.

The nicer threads tend to be smaller so go under the radar of none regular posters.

If you have a skim through the whole section you'll find there are far, far more helpful and supportive threads than there are judgemental threads. DBF and other rescuers sometimes posts about dogs in dire need or situations they have come accross whereby dogs are being mistreat. If you read those you'll realise why some posters are so quick condemn others and rightly so most of the time.

Some posters (myself included) are critical and judgemental of idiot dog owners because they are idiots who are unfortunately responsible for a dog who doesn't get much of a choice about what happens to it. And we see the end results of idiocy and irresponsibility.

I will admit to being very confused that sometimes it seems to be acceptable to be critical and judgemental of idiot dog owners and sometimes it doesn't.

Would love someone to explain the difference.

Agree, OP. As a dog lover, I lurk on this topic from time to time and have observed it to be a tad aggressive and judgemental. It doesn't feel like a place for dog lovers (of all levels of expertise) and I'm sorry but I just don't understand why "get a Staffie" has to be the default recommendation to everyone looking to add a new canine family member.

"I'm sorry but I just don't understand why "get a Staffie" has to be the default recommendation to everyone looking to add a new canine family member"

It isn't, Pop.

As well you know.

One of the things which miffs me is when someone states a (very often glaringly erroneous) opinion as fact.

Like you've done in your comment above.

It's fine, for example, when folk say "I hate Staffies" as they are entitled to their opinion and to express it.

It's not fine to say "Staffies should not be homed where there are children, they are dangerous and their jaws lock" as that goes beyond opinion and is certainly not fact. It also does a huge disservice to the individual/s concerned.

Like you've done in your comment above.

I for one love the Doghouse .
I hate the fact that people ask a question then ignore advice from people who are knowledgeable and are trying to help.
Owning a pet is too easy,

Sorry that should be getting/buying a dog is too easy. I welcome the fact that a decent rescue will homecheck etc

I'm sorry but I just don't understand why "get a Staffie" has to be the default recommendation to everyone looking to add a new canine family member

I posted on here recently saying I was at the end of my tether and depressed thinking about a messy winter ahead - I had only nice responses. Some of which were practical and none of which were judgemental - I was just going through a bad patch and the responses from the dog house helped me realise that Dogsy is all mine and I am his person until the end of his life - I think I was previously struggling with that responsibilty.