Kimberley - who is watching?

[Ewe]

Interesting premise, looking forward to seeing how unbiased the doc is.

ah, sorry, missed the very very beginning (also the end too)

Kimberley cannot use her age as an excuse, I ha

sorry, was mean to say her age cannot be used as an excuse, I had 4 children at 24 but was married and DH and myself were financially independant. I would NEVER EVER treat my children how she treated Harvey, did you see her dangling him by his arms? The bruises on that child were disgusting, that woman needs to sort out her priorities.
If she has £110 pw why in God's name is she spending any of it on cigarettes and McDonald's?
I can accept contraception can fail, of my 5 children only one pregnancy was planned (and even then I got twins!) but I was on the pill and DH used a condom, we are just the exception to the rule. But is she really in any state to raise a child? Let alone 2? I may have had unplanned pregnancies young but I was married to a man working as a junior associate for a magic circle firm earning at least £60,000 when we had our first.

The saddest part is that you just know those children will end up parents before they're twenty and probably with one 'BTEC' between them.

judgy judgy judgy

where do you lot get off?

nancy if you really understood the circle of abuse you migh have a different standpoint on this

As i have said before on here - i have no mother - model and a shitty abusive childhood - i do not parent like Kimberley but i also have empathy for her

I would love to know what it is that makes the difference. Why one person who has an awful childhood wants to be totally different and why another is unable to stop themselves repeating the cycle.

Kim clearly didn't want to be the way she was but seemed unable to make the changes she needed to avoid a situation where she lost her other children. She wasn't thick and she was aware of the consequences, very aware, having already lost 1 child.

I didn't know what to think after watching it, impossible to say how any of us would have turned out if we'd had her life. The whole thing was just depressing and in 10 years time there will probably be another documentary about how awful her sons's life has turned out to be.

well i hope not
i have faith in Kim from the little i have seen of her

I just watched this (Sky Plussed it). I found it very, very sad to watch and my heart went out to Kimberley and her little boy.

I knew lots of girls like her when I was growing up, and it is depressing to watch the cycle repeat itself. I just felt like screaming 'Noooooo!' when she got involved with yet another dopey bloke on the dole and got pregnant again. I can't believe that social services wouldn't have allocated her a social worker, someone to be really, properly involved in her life and to support her...? Perhaps there was one, but we just didn't it in the film?

I hope she can break the cycle. She seems a sweet girl, and her kids were gorgeous.

I too have only just managed to watch this and am still unsure as to where her oldest child is?

'I hope she can break the cycle.'

Not if she keeps getting pregnant again and again.

SuziSeis - I cannot believe you're criticising people for judging this woman! Thank goodness someone is judging her - with her issues and lifestyle, she needs to be judged.

Should we all completely ignore everyone else as we go through life and not get involved where help is clearly needed, lest we be considered to be judging?

If we applied your reasoning, then any kind of parenting should be acceptable - neglect, abuse etc, because we shouldn't judge.

I watched the programme and thought it was depressing as hell. Maybe Kim had a traumatic childhood (though she did mention that she had a mother and father who lived together so it didn't appear she came from a broken home) but that's no justification for perpetuating a disfunctional cycle of abuse.

Lots of people have screwed up childhoods. It doesn't provide justification to continue this into adulthood and inflict your issues on your children.

Yes Kim needs an awful lot of help. But there's only so much anyone can do and if she fails to accept that she needs to take responsibility for her life and her actions, then I think her children would be better off elsewhere.

I do agree that the best thing Kimberley could do for herself and her kids is to not have anymore children right now.

I don't think screeching and finger pointing helps, though.

It's a tricky thing to weigh up. Would Harvey be better off in a children's home or going from one foster home to another? I don't think so, at the moment, despite the instability in his home life. I think the best place for him right now is to be with his mum, who loves him.

...and who abuses him?

Nancy, do you have a realistic picture of care homes in this country? I do, and I honestly think Harvey is better off with his mum for now. If things changed or escalated - if she continues to get into violent relationship, for example - that's different. But she has been given another chance to get it right, so let's hope she does.

rocksock 'she needs to be judged'

no - she needs to be loved and helped

'If we applied your reasoning, then any kind of parenting should be acceptable - neglect, abuse etc, because we shouldn't judge. '

errr i dont think i ever said or implied anything like that

i was a victim of child battery and abuse

i am often pro - children being removed

i do not think Kimberley warranted this

A child of his age would not be placed in a care home.
I feel really sorry for the little boy but look at what he's suffered just in three years of life.
Most psychiatrists would agree that after five/six years an at risk child is pretty much damaged beyond repair.
So while there's still hope for Harvey why not let him have the chance of a decent life?

What chance? The chance to be in and out of foster care? The chance to have his bond with his mother irretrievably broken? Far better that social services intervene in order to help Kimberley to get her life on track.

But they have been intervening for years and it's done no good - she continues to let unsuitable men into her life and allows her child to witness domestic violence.

'Far better that social services intervene in order to help Kimberley to get her life on track.'

You can't help people unless they want help.

Her life has never been on track because she does not learn from her mistakes. She repeats them over and over.

Have one baby at 15, you're in a bad way, messed up, the child is removed.

So you go and have more children with violent men, let these men be around your children, have anger management issues yourself and now you're 25-years-old.

When does 'love and support' become enabling and excusing unhealthy behaviour?

Because what MorrisZapp on Fri 24-Apr-09 13:30:23 brought up is a highly salient point.

loads and loads of unhealthy behaviour goes untapped by ss

her behaviours are not 'great' but i think had she not had a child removed when younger she would have ducked under ss radar

I'm really surprised that anyone thinks this documentary gave them sufficient information on which to judge whether or not this child should be taken into care. All we have had is one edited account of Kim's side of the story.

I watched this programme hoping I would think that Kimberly was tryingt hard enough to make things right and keep her son, but I just didn't think that.

I was shocked when he was removed from the at risk register and as much as I would like to think otherwise, imo he should at the very least still be on the register, if not removed from her care.

I know she had problems and needed help, but that is not her sons fault, why should he pay for her problems ?