Kimberley - who is watching?

[Ewe]

Interesting premise, looking forward to seeing how unbiased the doc is.

mmjanitor - she didn't actually call him that in his hearing - she muttered it under her breath. I have done that myself on several occasions....

No, never called mine a little shit. I hate it when I hear mums saying that in town .

My 2 live in luxury compared to her children. I hope she can cope and learn to behave like an adult eventually.

Kimberley would be a perfect candidate for home visits by a non threatening, non judgemental experienced 'Mum' who could listen , help her with the baby etc.

She needs to learn to trust people again so to make an attachment to someone who would not hurt her would be so important.

You could se her inability to trust was driving partners away, and she was almost setting herself up for pain, like self fulfilling prophecy.. (Not using this as an excuse for DV)

she really did not call him that
she said it to herself

having had 6 children spanning 17 years i have heard equally bad on many many many occasions muttered under the breath of GREAT parents

agree mrs maidamess

oddly i was wondering why there was not the doula/midwife equivalent in parenting advice

HV/ ???

in clinic i am itching to offer mums my knowledge from my many years of experience...!

It wasn't so much the swearing I took issue with - although let's face it, it isn't great. The yelling and screeching at him was just horrible, I would never tolerate being spoken to like that and therefore would never speak to my child like that.

I agree that Harvey and her children probably need to stay on the child protection register. But because their outcomes would be far far worse in care, it is not at the level to justify removing them from her.

I am seeing first hand the stress and helplessness of a mother whose children are on the register. It breaks my heart - I cannot think how I would react in her situation, especially since she has already lost one child.

Her heart is in the right place. She does genuinely want the best for her children.

But what frustrates me is why she keeps repeating the same destructive patterns and seems unable to change and sometimes even acknowledge her role in this and take active steps to get out of the same situation ie bad choices in men, anger/violence issues.

If the social worker told her right off the bat she needs to get her act together, would she feel judged and shut off? If she were sent for classes or counselling, would that work or is it too softly-softly?

What is the right way to help her and her children so they do not fall in the same traps of the previous generation? How to break the cycle.

I agree ewe, the aggression levels were palpable and hardly heartening.

When she called him a fucking little shit she only just tailed her voice off, and I got the impression it was more to save her audience than to save the little boy from hearing it - as he played by himself.

Her anger issues were obvious, wherever they stemmed from. Very sad.

"anthony doesnt really want anymore kids"

maybe anthony should start wearing a condom then?
(am wathing on +1 so an hour behind)

ewe i missed the start but did not see her screeching

i think its easier said than done

she has a quick fuse..age will sort it to a degree

she loves harvey and he looked happy and well behaved - a lot sweeter than a lot of wild kids i see about..

i also thought her genuine

how many 24 year olds would sing a naff song on camera like that without hesitation

i wonder if people are naive about what goes on in a lot of homes?

i parent my children very differently to Kim but was not horrified by her parenting abilities and whilst i could see issues - i thought Harvey seemed in the best place in the circumstances

I was really surprised when she kept him after the hearing.Madness

why 'madness'

anthony already has 3 kids by 3 mothers, this is number 4, what the hell is wrong with these people?

Because she couldn't even look after herself

i saw no evidence of that

I think unless he is being harmed then as far as possible keep him with his mum

jsut because he is not being hit does not mean he is not being harmed. watching your mum "smash anthonys face in" can not be good for a child to see. she has just said she cant control her temper when provoked, how long until one of the kids provokes her?

I have just finished watching this and had a little cry. I feel sorry for her. But Harvey seemed like such sweet little boy - I would love to just take him home.

i see your pov nancy

i have faith in her

i broke the cycle of violent mother and gererally abusive relationships

i think kim can... she wants to which is good

Suzi, what made you break the cycle?

I warmed to Kim's spirit. I feel she cares and could change. What do you think is the best way to support her?

I think she shows quite a bit of insight at times. I think she suffers from undelievably low self-esteem, she clearly has never been nurtured herself as a child and has been left with a complete inability to establish an enduring, trusting relationship with anyone by the looks of it.

Bearing all that in mind-I think she is doing pertty well. She is never going to live up to the standards of people who have not experienced deprivation in their own past, but she is probably providing good enough care.

I got the feeling she felt threatened..

reading on here about ss last night someone was saying in other countries the 'authorities' are perceived as helpers - but in the uk - as a threat

i changed the cycle becasue i was determined not to be like my parents

i am not saying it is easy but i was determined not to have children if i was going to moan about it..

all i have to do is realsie that one day my children will be old enough to choose whether they want me in their lives

if i scream at them and am not loving - why would they?

agree chipkid

She's a hatchet faced, nasty old bitch and the sort that will always have police and social services in her life.

the little boy was adorable - and I feel sad when I think of his future and how he will inevitably turn out.

She is very, very aggressive and violent - look at how she was prepared to act in front of the cameras and social workers. Can you imagine what goes on behind closed doors? Those bruises on Harvey's body were very suspect.

Anthony seemed like a decent enough sort (despite the grating faux jamaican accent) but there's no way that will last.

I wouldn't be surprised if both kids eventually end up in care.

nancy-I don't know anything about your background-but from the comments that you have made about this mother, I would suspect that you have never experienced a lack of nurture/deprivation as a child. Do not underestimate the impact of a shitty childhood on a person's ability to function to an acceptable level.I felt that you were being unduly harsh on her. I share your concerns as to how the little boy will turn out-but that is not reason enough to remove him from her if her care of him is good enough. Might not be the best care he could receive, but you cannot remove a child from his family on that basis-that would be social engineering.