Addicted to surrogacy, Channel 4

[Meglet]

Anyone else watching?

I missed it, anyone know if its gonna be repeated?

I really hope no one ever asks me to be a surrogate or egg donor for them! I would definately say no! find the whole thing terribly uncomfortable, would even be a struggle for me to support a friend who was going though it (although I would do my best)

I don't think that Tammy was the 'better' surrogate, in fact I didn't 'rate' any of them on that, just thought that Tammy seemed the most likeable in a way and perhaps the most 'normal' somehow. As for Amanda's house being untidy/cluttered because she's been heavily pregnant and has young children etc. etc. well haven't we all been there? And perhaps some of us on our own too. Even if there is a Husband/partner around, sometimes they work long hours and essentially we're on our own then. I'm just a stickler for standards and think there's not really any excuse for such disarray and untidiness.

found it on on-demand

I wonder, does jill ask the fathers to do a STD screen before squirting their s!"£k up her?

wannabe, your comments are ill educated. My daughter wasnt given up/away/not wanted by her birth mother, she was conceived for me. If I hadn't been her planned mum, she would not have been conceived or born.

just watched it on sky +, i felt sorry for amanda, she seemed very vunerable. the russian woman came across as cold and controling. tammy was just in it for the money in my opinion.

ha ha mummy penguin, I'm 36 weeks preg with dc2, knackered and the house is untidy - you can come round and apply your standards for me if you like!

SalBySea,the answer to your very crude and rude question is yes!
All couples,surrogates and surrogate partner are tested regularly for STI's and any other nasties!
Mummypenguin,when my own children were two days old i did not have a spic and span mary poppins type house,because it is ridiculous to expect to keep standards high when you have had a grueling birth.
Its women like oyu that put unnecessary pressure on other women to be-what you would consider-perfect.

I agree that Olga was cold but there was a huge culture difference that has to be seen through.
xx

Just watched it on sky plus. What an emotional prog! I liked Amanda but would have found it ijmpossible to do it myself.

Olga reminded me of a younger version of my MIL

I would do it for either of my sisters. No one else though. Do you remember the prog about the 3 sisters who had a baby for the one that had had cancer? One donated the eggs, the other carried the baby and they gave the baby to their infertile sister. Thought that was lovely. At least then the child is in the family and brought up by people you love.

surrofab I'm sure they do if they do it through formal channels, but Jill's arrangements seemed very informal!

I was surprised how many of them used their own eggs - that is not what I considered surrogacy to be! If its your egg and you carry the baby then surely that's just putting your child up for adoption? not really the same as just incubating someone else's baby IMO

i think it takes a very special person to be a surrogote

suprised you are allowed to be one if you havent had children before

Olga was a straight up cow.

"suprised you are allowed to be one if you havent had children before"

Are people like Jill regulated though?

poor little edward
I do think that her's and amanda's relationship was mostly just cultural.
But I do feel for little edward and his schedule of studies! Olga should find a tennis partner her own size!

very true salbysea

Just because you haven't want and don't want children yourself doesn't mean that you can't be a good surrogate. There are several childless women who have had surrogate babies within COTs.

Surrogates here are not 'regulated' SalBySea, but she is a member of COTs and has all the help and support at hand that they offer both surrogates and IPs.

I felt for amanda, she cast such a pitiful figure after the handover, bless her, at least she had one of her little ones there to give her a hug. I don't know how you surrogates find the strength to be so brave. IMO 10k is peanuts for what you go through.

There are many,many ladies who do not have the use of their own eggs,so often a surrogates eggs are used.She is not using them,so again,why not!
The whole process is similar to adoption just not so drawn out maybe,whether its surrogates eggs or through IVF.First there is getting the husband parental responsibility through the courts then when the child is over 6weeks but no older than 6mths both the parents can apply for a Parental Order,which is very similar to an adoption order.
A surrogate will never consider any baby born to be 'hers'...so no it is not putting 'your' baby up for adoption.
xx

but whether a surrogate considers the baby to be her's or not doesn't change the fact that the baby still is biologically her's. In fact a surrogate can change their mind and decide to keep the baby and the intended parents have no legal recourse. It is biologically her baby.

and whats your point wannabe? It DOES happen, they can do it, once or twice a year it happens.
Yes it is biologically hers if its straight, so what? esch to their own but I had an option to raise a baby from conception (I was at every appointment and with her everyday) that was biologically my husbands, or what? nothing. No child, no family, no grandkids. Yes I could have adopted, lots and lots of people have said oh didnt you think to adopt> because its so easy isnt it Kewcumber! NOT lol
We hadnt got as far as adoption, my friend offered after my last bout of treatment failed before we went down that route. I was secure enough in her friendship with me and my relationship with y husband to agree to think about it. 9 months later we started trying, 14 mths later I was a mum.
Her way of thining was that she gave her bits of the baby to me, she wasnt giving it to my dh at all as it was his anyway.
For what its worth, once the intended paretns have left the hospital, the surro has mininmal chance of keeping the baby, its leaves with you with her permission.
There is one case I know of where host surrogate twins were born, 1 disabled. The intended parents didnt want 1 of them, it's (being discrete) birth but NOT biological mother took custody of the disabled baby and is bringing it up as hers. She and her hubby are amazing.

Wannabe,so what if the baby is biologically the surrogates child.A surrogate has completed her family(if she want one) and is bearing a child for a couple to love.The only reason said child has been conceived in the first place is because the intended parents desire a baby to share in the love they have for one another.The child being conceived would never be born if it were not for the IPs,regardless of whos eggs are used.

thank you surrofab, we may "know" each other from the cots boards, saying that I am pretty quiet on there being an old closed case sort of thing!

A fascinating programme, I've found both my pregnancies so uncomfortable I couldn't go through it myself for any baby I didn't plan to bring up myself, but then I'm on the old side anyway, though 6 years younger than Jill was when trying for another.

Hi there all.

You know it's really great to read all the comments about the programme. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments you have put. I'm Amanda, the surrogate in the programme.

The comments on my house by the way..... do you really think you would be that bothered about tidying up when you have just given birth?!!!! Who bloody cares!!! I certainly didn't. Think i did quite well to get my daughter to school the following morning having only had Edward at 7 the previous evening. Plus lack of sleep from a bad nights sleep on the sofa.

Sadly the programme didn't show the better times we had but it's true it wasn't always easy. The thing is i've always had really easy pregnancies and feel so lucky to have my children. I can't imagine how hard it must be to not have them when you really want them. I don't know where i'd be without my children.

And just to mention. For those that think it's for the money, i was with Stephen and Olga for 2 and a half years to get to have Edward. I went through a cancelled transfer because their embryo's died and cried just as much as they did with them. And was just as disappointed for them when the 2nd transfer failed. Felt i'd let them down and then felt bad for feeling sad when they must have been going through hell.

It's not just being pregnant like people seem to think, it's so much more than that and something i now feel incredibly proud about. Having helped a couple to become a family, something that far too many take for granted.

Loved the message about ogre!!! Funnily enough thats what my children used to call her!!!!!

And just noticed another comment about my house and just felt i should add, it's not just my house, it's my childrens too and the fact that there were toys absolutely everywhere doesn't really bother me. It's just toys lying around. You know children play don't you?! Well how boring to have an incredibly tidy house!! Nothing better to do than tidy up? Forget that. Would sooner play with the kids and then tidy up at the end of the day, as i do.