Big Brother has gathered the Housemates at the sofa for today’s royal task.
Big Brother says, “Cameron, as Big Brother Finalist, you have been royally appointed King of the Big Brother House… Cameron, go don your royal cloak and regal crown and take a seat.”
King Cameron says, “Thank you very much for this honour. I promise to be a good and dutiful king.”
Big Brother says, “All hail the King.”
The Housemates repeat, “All hail the king.”
Big Brother says, “King Cameron, your first decision is to appoint your Royal Aid. They will be your right hand.”
King Cameron says, “Jenny, I dub thee my Royal Aid.”
Jenny says, “You know what I mean. I knew I would make it someday.”
Jenny is instructed to collect her royal instrument from the Hatch where she finds a recorder. Big Brother tells Jenny she must announce King Cameron’s entrance whenever he enters a room.
King Cameron selects Marcus as his Court Jester, who must keep the King entertained. King Cameron selects Tate as his Royal Comforter, with the duty to be his personal footrest. King Cameron selects Emily as his Royal Cook, in charge of cooking Cameron and his Royal Aid a lunch.
Big Brother says, “Loyal subjects, King Cameron’s reign has now begun.”
What will the Big Brother House look like under King Cameron’s reign? Will it be peaceful or will there be revolution?
EMILY GETS ROTTEN REVENGE ON TATE
Big Brother says, “King Cameron, it’s time to exert your royal powers. You must pick one of your subjects to send to your Royal Jail. King Cameron, who has not been a loyal subject?”
King Cameron says, “The Comforter [Tate].”
Big Brother says, “King Cameron, in the Garden is one bucket of rotten tomatoes. When you decree it, yourself or a subject of your choice may throw this bucket over Tate. Which of your loyal subjects have you chosen to administer the rotten tomatoes?”
King Cameron says, “I’ve given the privilege to the Royal Chef, Emily.”
Emily says, “Thank you, your Majesty.”
Emily approaches the jail cell with the rotten tomatoes, “This is for every time you’ve tried to interfere with me in the kitchen and tell me what to do with the shopping list. And do you know what colour these are? Red, like those eyeballs you gave me yesterday… this is for you, you horrible dictator!”
The Housemates chant, “Shame, shame, shame.”
HOUSEMATES PERFORM IN BIG BROTHER’S ROYAL TALENT SHOW
Big Brother says, “King Cameron needs entertaining. Tonight, you will put on Big Brother’s Royal Talent Show.”
Big Brother continues, “Jenny and Richard, you will perform a duet to Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond. Emily, Marcus, Teja and Elsa, you will be performing a dance routine. Tate, you will be reading a royal roast. This will be an original passage that you must write shortly.”
Tate says, “On it.”
King Cameron says, “The harsher the better.”
Emily says, “Oh I’m absolutely f**ked.”
After an afternoon spent preparing to entertain the King, the Housemates are ready to perform their acts.
King Cameron says, “Subjects, may the best performance win the show.”
The dance routine opens the show. Followed by Tate’s Royal Roast.
Tate says, “...For the man of the hour, King Cameron, I reckon it’s time for him to go back to the easy easy job of farmer. Afterall, there is little difference to sitting on a throne all day to sitting on a self-driving tractor…”
The final performance of the show is Jenny and Richard’s duet.
Jenny says, “I feel like we are gonna win this s**t.”
Richard says, “Oh, wow. Confident.”
At the end of their performance, Emily says, “Richard, do you now believe there can be sweet Carolines?”
Richard responds, “Naturally.”
Big Brother says, “King Cameron, it’s now up to you to pick your favourite act and your reasons why.”
In a House full of talent, which performance will King Cameron select as the winner of Big Brother’s Royal Talent Show?