MAFS UK 2: Eminem, Clownboy, sisters, and incoming shit lids - No Spoilers Please (added by MNHQ)

[murasaki]

Right, bring on the new batch.

How the hell does that guy - the deaf one, sorry, don't know his name - think he comes across, saying he's going to shag her tonight. He might as well have said, "whether she likes it or not".

Scary mum is scarier than scary dad. Do they have a son called Biffa?

I can't tell this new one ("I've never been in love") apart from the other pudding bowl hair cut barber

The women all seem to have crippling anxiety over their looks (Emma is the exception) and the men seem to have the opposite of whatever body dymorphia is. Bowl Head Boy is like the real life embodiment of Shallow Hal.

These two brides remind me of Peggy and Jay from last year

He’s not but his boyfriend is.

I’m also gay! Before anyone says I’m homophobic.

These distinctly average / below average looking men hoping for a supermodel

Shitlid will be overly concerned what ' the lads' think of her I imagine.

He reminds me of those massive Gorgs out of Fraggle Rock

Now I need to lose weight (hence username) but the thing that goes wrong every single time on these programmes is if the bride isn't slim. It seems as though anything else is acceptable except extra weight. I could never put myself through that - it would be too humiliating.

Oddly enough the women never seem to say that about the men.

She reminds me of Ruby Wax.

Note to future male applicants - female supermodels don't tend to apply for this programme.

Alfie reads the situation well.

These men want Instathots without a Saudi wallet to afford them

Alfie is adorable

Loving Alfie - face of a sceptic if I ever saw one.

Man, he's not hiding his disappointment well, is he?

This guy is utterly humourless

A blonder Liza Tarbuck for me.

He doesn't want to even touch her.

Accents and lip reading - he has hearing aids so there must be a little hearing. You hear vowels but not so much consonants. So accents will more likely depend on whether the vowels are said differently. I find Brum accents quite hard to lip-read. But I’m not very familiar with it which makes a difference.

The plugs on that one 😬

God. He’s awful. Utterly awful.

He’s not blown away by his bride 🙄

Mate you’re punching as it is!

Fuck OFF Adam

Why go on the show if you are terrified of spending the night in the same room with a man?

I feel sorry for Barbie; she’s had so much fear instilled in her by her parents…

….and then she implied her cats are akin to children, and she lost me 🫠🫠🫠