MAFSUK thread 5. Congratulations are the meek, for they shall inherit the universe. Egg fried rice optional. As is intimacy. Grab yer bottles and get ma name oot yer mooth. All cowments appreciated. (Translation services by Sunbird)

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Wire in.

😂 I went back for a look and I don't know what she was doing with a bouquet in each hand saying oh my God, maybe the cameras made her really nervous or something

I'm surprised JJ didn't admit he said Erica was his type as well.

And that Erica also chose him as the one she would most like to kiss.

Ella seemed to be proud of the flirting and was starting on 'Well, that's just me...' until Nathaniel pointed out that it was disrespectful to JJ's wife and then Ella's face completely lost all it's glee and she pretended to agree.

For someone who doesn't like sex, Peggy doesn't half go on about it a lot.

Erica can be ‘fucking raging’ and full of the girl code all she likes but she was reluctant to mention that she’d be on JJ like a Labrador on chips and had a little cob on when he chose Ella to boot.

Agree v disrespectful poor Bianca

think both Tasha and the other girl are obnoxious but Tasha was def Jel …Tasha’s silly show voice though .. flicking those awful braids what does she think she looks like ? Don’t suit her at all

her resting bitch face says it all lol I do get what they say about the bad energy though but this girl the dancer … she’s v confident and yes other girls feel insecure about that

lol in the other chat when someone said Brad should lend J J some kneck made me chuckle

New guy divers body though .. wow !

I appreciated Nathan pointing out that it was disrespectful to Bianca and didn't - yet - make it all about him. I think that's coming tomorrow if the sneak peeks are anything to go on. I just want to hug Bianca who has been dropped into a shitstorm with a husband who has the personality of a sack of slowly rotting potatoes. He can't even look her in the eye, ffs.

It's my first ever series, I'm guessing that if you're paired with a shitstain and feelings grow between you and another husband/wife you're not allowed to swap? I'd like it if, for example, Nathaniel and Bianca became close and were allowed to be together leaving JJ and Ella to bugger off for some unsatisfactory humping. I definitely hope that Nathaniel bins off Ella.

Although now I'm wondering if we were played by the editing - maybe it started with Erica admitting what JJ said about her and what she said back - in a full disclosure way because Bianca hadn't been there and JJ hadn't told her. Then she made the distinction that Ella and JJ were actually flirting.
I don't think Erica likes JJ. I think she chose him because it was the easiest option because he'd said she was his type.

Yes Matt is the one I know. He came across well I thought and the bride seemed very nice. I definitely am not one of the women who want him to wash the windows topless! My DS was a diver at the same time as Matt and we knew his dad too so have seen how amazingly Matt had looked after both his parents. I thought Harrogate was looking very lovely in the footage too, but then I’m biased…! He was round last week and DH was chatting to him and I know he was nervous as to whether people would like him but I think he did really well.

Just him visiting Craggy? 🕵️‍♀️ Only kidding! Don't want you to get in trouble for saying too much! Although I imagine it must be very hard to say anything at this point 🤔

@Nineandahalfonabadday - he didn't have anyone footing his ladder! He hasn't been able to tell us anything beyond the fact he was on it. Maybe hear more when it is over

How long ago was it filmed Craggy, do you know?

George's best man has the same eyebrows as Sweep (from Sooty and Sweep).

Re Jordan's hair.
I had initially thought he was wearing one of those zigzag hair bands.
I'm now thinking that he wears one until his hair is dry, then removes it. It's surely the only way that style would be possible. Although God knows why you'd do it out of choice 🤷🏼‍♀️

Tasha - finally we're seeing the real her. Her intro video was loud, brash, bolshie, fucking irritating, and absolutely not who we've been watching for a few weeks.

I still cannot equate this as being the same person. So weird

I really wish they would stop bringing up the rimming thing 🤢

Really not impressed with Luke's "I'm definitely not moving." Nothing says "I love you" more than "my mates are more important to me than you, but if you want to leave all your friends and family behind I guess that'll be alright."

Yeah selfish that was

Luke and Jay could move to Nottingham and be about 2 hours from both families. A lot of people move for relationships and they often don't end up in location A or B but compromise with location C.

he Is pansexual

Hahahahahaha!

if someone tells you that you look like pob that would be…just…hahahahahahaha!

Yes, I was thinking this. Totally doable

It's the sort of thing where it doesn't matter so much what you decide to do, but what matters is how you make the decision.

If they'd decided that they wanted to stay together and then talked through the different options and then decided to live in Essex, that would be completely different from if Jay now decides to move to Essex after Luke has made an ultimatum of it.

I have had people move for me and I have moved for people, but I would never move for anyone who had made it clear that I wasn't important enough to move for.

In the trailer for the wedding for the gay couple, does anyone else wonder if the shorter of the two men is a transman? His facial features are quite feminine, which together with the small stature and male-but-a-bit-croaky voice made me wonder if he's a transman on testosterone. I've had a look online but the only announcements about a transgender person on MAFS are about Ella.

I thought it was Matt Lucas taking the piss