MAFSUK Part3 - Brought to you by yesteryear and Dreamies. When feeling cheap and dirty involved fingers and a virtual stranger as opposed to no fingers and a virtual stranger. Doing my pan in…

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

No fingers …

Oh and the lip filler this year is insane. Sick of seeing Peggy with her gob hanging open. If you can’t close your mouth love, and your lips are so numb and dry you are forever licking or touching them, it’s time to stop with the filler! She’s also had too much Botox as her brow is sinking which makes her look permanently cross.

Yes!!

Shona pre-lip transplant

My alternative MAFS would have strict criteria for the entrants.

For the women, no lip filler permitted.

For the men, I'd put them into one of these team-interview exercises with a couple of women, the ones where you have to decide who gets to go into a lifeboat from a sinking ship or something, and they only get to take part if they manage to listen to the women speak without interrupting them.

I'm sure there'd be more, but that would be a good start.

They both know exactly why they are in the programme. Nathaniel is playing his part very well.

She doesn't want to share her private parts unless it's to Prince Charming

If the experts really want to advise, then actually showing the clips of what’s being debated/argued about, would help them advise better, no?

I think the point the ixperts are trying to make is that it doesn't matter what the argument was about or who was right and who was wrong. The important thing is how they resolve the conflict.

There's always going to be another disagreement and there will always be two people's different perspective on who said what. The point is, if they each learn how to manage their own reactions and how to express themselves appropriately, then these minor arguments will resolve fairly easily rather than blow up into something massive that weighs on them for days.

So there's no point showing them the clip and saying 'Porscha you were wrong' as that doesn't actually help either of them. She needs to acknowledge to herself that her own behaviour is affecting her own happiness and she needs to come to that conclusion herself. Which she will eventually if she sticks with it. She probably won't stay with Tezza but it will help with any future relationships.

Everything that's wrong with the world summed up.

What about our happiness watching all this bullshit about a spoon?

Just caught up with last night’s. Poor Terrence, he’s being held prisoner in a luxury apartment against his will, these two will never, ever work!

Brad has that creepy Russell Brand Messiah type vibe going on, poor Shona. He’s lovebombing her and he just wanted the status of being the “hot couple”.

I don’t think any of them will last.

I absolutely agree about Shona not being prudish. It is so dehumanising to be made to feel guilty about having boundaries, especially when it comes to sex. The sixperts, especially the one who is supposed to be a sexpert should be ashamed of themselves for not saying that nobody should do anything sexually that they are not comfortable with.

Agree.

”Vanilla shaming” is definitely a thing. And Charlene comes across as very ‘woke’ when it comes to sexual liberation. Her Instagram is interesting. The narrative seems to be ‘give it a try’ before it’s ‘actually Brad you need to respect Shona’s boundaries’. I blame the total abomination that is 50 Shades of Shite.

Alessandra in MAFSAU spoke last year to the men about having their prostates tickled like it was really pathetic to not want that, and then sent the women away with a bag of dildos each to use with their partner - but to me BOTH those things require insane amounts of trust on both parts and you also both have to be already into it. I’m nearly 40 and nothing in the world would ever persuade me go to within 12 inches of a bumhole (be it mine or his) and I would find it really objectionable to sit on front of a ‘sexpert’ saying “Go on just try iiiiiit”. No, fuck off.

Do you know what I had the RB thought in my head earlier when someone mentioned Brad....ick....

So according to my TV guide on:
Monday = confessions week
Tuesday = honesty box
Weds = 2nd commitment ceremony
Thurs = 2 new weddings...one with a picky bride apparently...you mean we haven't already had our picky bride?!

Peggy really does look quite gormless. I suppose she just sees herself static in front of a mirror, so doesn't realise.

Fucking hell Porscha, it was a bloody spoon!! I cannot believe the drama and tears!!

Two new weddings already??

Anyone else wondering whether Porsha's version of events actually did happen? I know in the past on love island they made the couples record two versions, to get different camera angles. Maybe Terence did throw the spoon in the first version....just a thought. I'm not defending her, she is very fake and quite unhinged. I'm just wondering how she could have remembered it so differently.

The pp who said Brad is giving Russell brand vibes is spot on!! Yes!

Anyone else wondering whether Porsha's version of events actually did happen?
No

If we could stop the men wearing ridiculously skinny jeans that look as if they’re cutting off all circulation, that would be good 😂

And make not wearing socks a “one strike and your out” rule

Same for wearing a blazer with nothing underneath

These are all good.

Thought of another one: Anyone who talks about what they "ordered" as though it was a mail order bride/groom thing, instead of match-making.

Even when someone says this positively - "you're exactly what I ordered" - I find it toe-curlingly awful.

Catching up with last night's episode, what a lot of fuss over nothing with the spoon! P is completely OTT but unless she's just totally in it for made up drama, there must be something else going on either we've not seen or that's triggering her.

I felt a bit uncomfortable when Peggy was voicing some of her thoughts about the online performing G has done, and the ixpert said something about she should draw a line. Yes fair enough he has said he can remove the content (which is not the same as actually removing it or never having done it) but Peggy is quite right to say that it's something in the back of her mind while she assesses if their values are compatible. I felt the ixpert was dismissive of that. I'd feel exactly the same as her tbh, it was in his past but I'd still be cautious going forward, just as I'm not the type of person to have anything like that of myself online. Doesn't mean he is wrong or she is wrong, but I don't like seeing people shut down by ixperts.

Also agree with pp about the negativity around 'prudish'. If people can celebrate being so sexually open and free and so on, then by the same token it goes both ways and we can celebrate people who don't have ONS, multiple partners, threesomes and so on, 'non-vanilla' 'non explorative' sex is fine too. Shona seems ripe for coercion by her husband and that worries me.

Oops I mean vanilla sex, not non-vanilla, is fine too! Can't edit on app.

Was it supposed to be on tonight on E4 or has it been rescheduled