Emmerdale *NO SPOILERS* Now for Paddy and Mandy and Chloe and Mack. But don't fall asleep - we have biker cat back

[TellingBone]

All hail biker cat

Mack’s post:

’Hi ladies, man here. Well where do I start? My sister suggested this site for some advice about my situation. I’ve been an idiot but honestly it’s not my fault and that big coach back to Scotland with my wee boy tucked away under my arm in the dead of night is lookin’ awfy attractive right now’.

We could keep this going forever

Asan posted this accompanied by Kayne's
"it's like that y'all I don't really give a fuck about it at all cos the same people that tried to blackball me forgot about two things, my black balls" 

Go on my son  but if you win an award for it - stay sober!

And MN stole my smiley faces

OMG !!
I am loving the MN threads and post🤣🤣!!

Now ...how would we all reply ?

Hi OP (Chloe)

I'm a really unhelpful poster but here goes..........And you had a baby with this prince........why why why, the red flags were literally draped all over him, married, he's married and you got pregnant by him, well you've nobody to blame but yourself, You Are The Other Woman, stop fooling yourself and get some self respect, god I feel sorry for your child!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Charity.....ah Hun you poor thing, you're better off without him, hopefully she was diseased ridden and his knob will fall off, make sure you write her a letter telling her exactly what she is, I'm sure there is a template here somewhere, you know what you need don't you ..........a spa day, honest Hun it'll solve everything, unmumsnetty hugs Hun 💓💓

Mack.....I think it's pretty clear you're a dick and your also led by it, hope this helps 😡

Oh yes, tonight let's play ...

WHOSE KNOB SHOULD DROP OFF IN EMMERDALE?

Nominations are rolling in.

@Ellenanora7 nominates Mack for upsetting Charity.

I'm nominating Caleb because he made Cain wince a bit. Harsh, Caleb, harsh and unforgiveable.

I nominate Liam for allowing Wendy anywhere near his knob 🤢

@Ellenanora7 a spa day

Nickynackynanny's knob can drop off because he's so annoyin'. If Nicola had a knob, hers too. Let's think of it as Nicola's metaphorical knob.

I'm also quite keen for something appalling to happen to anyone who upsets Moira any more.

YES I KNOW IT'S NOT REAL

I nominate Tomnow’s knob. He’s going to break Belle’s heart and I’d like his knob to drop off before that happens.

Yes, poor Belle. She's been through enough.

Well I wonder what fresh depths of shite the scriptwriters are going to plumb tonight that they think us poor viewers are remotely interested in?
More members of the boring Anderson family crawling out of the woodwork?
Somebody else pregnant after having sex once?
Caleb living or dying?
Leyla back on the stuff again.
Will Chloe or Charity win the prize that is Mackenzie - of course he's such a catch isn't he - no home, no income, unfaithful etc
I could go on and on ................

Caleb is 'resting his brain' on a ventilator.

Did it start a bit early?

Chas looks like she's wearing a wig

I was just resting my brain 😂

It just started, straight into Caleb's Hospital Thursday room and Chas and Cain saying words.

Who's paying for all this Will?

Here's Inspector Useless

Oh bless, the police 'have reason to believe that he was pushed'. Presumably that was Caleb saying, 'I were pushed' before he had to rest his brain on a ventilator?

If Leo Varadkar had a beard

I've gone right off him lately so he would fit right into my ever decreasing enjoyment of Emmerdale

Are David and Layla back together or what?

Funny how Will suddenly wants to get away

Police interview in the pub?

Very suss Will wanting to flee the country but then it is just as suss Mackenzie washing clothes let alone offering to do fuckfaces clothes for her too.