Masterchef: Thread 5

[Pebbledashery]

In readiness

Look like armadillo droppings

How did a scientist from Oxford sneak in?

🤭😳🤣🤣

Sorry but that was dog poop on a plate

Zylotol powder. They'll all have the shits after that.

xylitol? Fucking hell, if the artichokes work their magic there might be a few accidents.

Xylitol is a sugar alcohol actually. BBC researchers didn't do their homework for this episode.

This all feels a bit Last Days of Rome to me. Faff. Unnecessary and pretentious faff.

Wanky chef is acting like he's got five minutes to perfect an antidote to a super-virus dreamt up by a Bond villain. Stop being so wanky!

Oh really. This is weapons-grade arsholery now.

This is just too wanky

I'm going to start wearing headphones with dinner so I don't hear the children, but I'll tell DH it's to enhance the meal.

All so wankery now.

I would have got the giggles, I'm sorry.

Bree-och?

😅

I would like to eat this honey dessert, though.

Aggie from How Clean Is Your House has aged

I'd quite like to see the behind the scenes footage of all of the farting around that they must be doing to keep resetting the table.

That’s a pudding for a toddler. Tiny pudding

I could probably eat about 5 of those little toasts and an equivalent number of beehives.

Well, there’s no ‘probably' about it, let's be honest.

A small toddler.

You could play Blockbusters with that last dish. Chef must be a big Bob Holness fan.

Flavours in your mouth. Wankery is catching.

WE'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT NORMAL PORTION SIZES ARE 😄