Favourite Motherland quotes?

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I can’t believe people don’t watch this show. God bless you all, missing out on this!

What’re your favourite quotes?

"It's Christmas Eve, Geoff!" From an exasperated overwhelmed Julia, followed up by "have a satsuma, crack a nut, eat a quarter onion, you coffin-dodging old shit" may have misquoted there but it lands perfectly in this Christmas special.

Has no-one said, "It's a drop off!" yet?! That episode is hilarious! And so true. Takes me back to horrendous kids' parties. They should always be 'drop offs'!

So many - love this show!

Kevin about Jill avoiding sex "she was up the loft ladder quicker than a chinchilla"

Julia's in laws "the cavalry have arrived" - it was the way it was said.

Paul to julia as she's despairing about having so much to do, said patronising like he's an amazing husband - "don't worry, I'll support you 100%, I'll pick up any balls you drop and give them straight back to you". Sums up our house a lot of the time.

Can I get a “hey, girl” - Amanda in the auction of promises.

“Of course you fucking do” - Liz, when Lee says he doesn’t go out with nutters.

So many good lines that have been said already.

I like this bit from the first series; it's not laugh-out-loud funny but Anna MM's delivery is so good. Julia is telling Liz and Kevin about her childcare issues. Kevin suggests she should just do what Amanda does, then reels off a complicated weekly schedule involving her mother in law, nanny shares, part time hours, work from home and her mother flying over from Portugal. Julia fake grins and says brightly "Okay, I'll just do that then!"

“Those bell ends that birthed my husband” is my go to line in my head for my in laws when they are annoying me - brilliant

@awaynboilyurheid It seems that Julia's in-laws are not very helpful, and she's left to do everything on her own, including entertaining the kids at her child's birthday party. Liz's suggestion of the "hunt the pound" game involves throwing a pound coin and having the kids search for it, with the winner keeping the coin. It may not be the most imaginative game, but it's a simple and effective way to keep the kids entertained.

Diane Morgan is a legend. Everything she does is hilarious. Check out her Philomena Cunk stuff where literally everything she says is quote worthy! Love love love Motherland and these reminders have made my day - thanks OP!

She’s great in After Life too.

Leeeeee Meeeeaaadddd!!!!!
😂

When Anne is feeling off the list of what she's doing for Mother's Day and Liz says 'I think Anne's malfunctioning'

and useless Paul turns up and says something along the lines of 'ooh haven't seen hummus for a while'

One of the earliest episodes when they're at the school fair/fundraiser, Liz volunteers to make the punch and Ann deadpan says "No! Last time you made the punch I woke up in the park" Absolutely cracks me up

Omg I came on to this thread to say that quote by Julia’s husband about juggling. My dh was totally like that when the kids were younger and I was running around like a lunatic.

And Mandy!!

It looks like an angry sweetcorn

After Kevin announces that Amanda has threesomes with the squaddie:

Liz: Right, well I can't top that, so I'm off.

Also Liz when Debbie Louise says the background music is Rainforest Sounds Volume one:

Can't beat the rainforests early stuff.

Slightly hungover and on episode 3. Liz just called Amanda ‘Cersei Lannister’ 😂

this thread is great! All of mine have been covered I think but glad to find others who like it-no one else I know does🙄

Yes I know hahahaha that’s why I quoted it!

Not a funny one but a poignant ‘not all mums are Marion’s’. Too true.

‘Here comes Evil Elsa and her pet snowman’.

I’ve just remembered another one, Liz says to Amanda along the lines of “you’ve got a mum? I thought you were hatched in a laboratory!” And Amanda says “I’ll take that as a compliment, Liz” 😂

Meg joining in season 2, in the cafe with Liz pointing to Amanda's table:

what happens over there in Pony Club?
It's basically a self-harm group -you go there to feel worse about yourself...They all hate Anne, but she's like Paul Burrell. She knows too much to be thrown out...

Budge up Ann