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Telly addicts

Celebs go dating - and pouting and flouncing and whining and crying. Probably.

106 replies

theNumbersStation · 10/01/2022 12:36

I will wait patiently for someone to find love.

I’ve more chance of being a size 8.

OP posts:
TitsInAbsentia · 10/01/2022 22:19

I'm in! Oh, not for finding love that is. Although I've probably got more chance than the people on this programme Grin

So the contestants are (you get a point for every person you recognise...I reckon we're looking at an average score of 2!): www.radiotimes.com/tv/entertainment/reality-tv/celebs-go-dating-2022-start-date/

Ulrika Jonsson
Abz Love
Chloe Brockett
Miles Nazaire
Nikita Jasmine
Ryan-Mark Parsons
Jessika Power
Marty McKenna

Eeeeeeeeeeee I forgot that Nikita was going to be on it Biscuit

WallopBang · 10/01/2022 22:32

Watching! Can't wait for this to start.

I recognise 7/8 names which I don't think is a bad thing seeing most of them are plastered on my social media feeds.

Marty McKenna is the name I don't know and I promise I haven't googled who it is. Anyone else know?

theNumbersStation · 10/01/2022 22:37

There is only one I’ve not heard of.

Marty is a stranger to me.

The rest I am fairly well aware of. Do I win? 😬

And am just hoping that Paul the ixpert has given himself a shake and remembered that he isn’t here to create the drama.

#notnearlyforgivenforyourMafsukshit

OP posts:
Fringellacoelebs · 10/01/2022 22:56

Wasn't Marty dating Chloe on Geordie Shore a few years ago?

theNumbersStation · 10/01/2022 22:57

I haven’t seen Geordie Shore 😳

Shall I get me coat?

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RussianSpy101 · 10/01/2022 22:59

I only recognise 3 names!
Ulrika, Abz & Chloe.

I shall return to my rock.

ISpyCobraKai · 10/01/2022 23:01

I know who Marty is, I used to watch GSBlush

TitsInAbsentia · 11/01/2022 02:28

Oh for shame...due to my being a previous owner of a dirty little GS habit I do know who Marty is!

FunnyMummy2214 · 11/01/2022 10:19

Im so excited!!

Got hooked watching last year when Tom Zanetti was in - how dishy is he btw! - cannot wait for the next one to start

theNumbersStation · 11/01/2022 19:55

TZ was a bonny boy - I missed a lot of that series due to work and avoidance of Karim.

I wish that TZ hadn’t got Chelsea teef - he was fine without them.

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JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 11/01/2022 19:57

When does it start? Have I missed it? I hope it's a proper series where they actually go out on dates and not in a mansion again

theNumbersStation · 11/01/2022 20:07

Next Monday (17th) at 2100.

It says they arrive at a secret venue. I’m not sure if they are staying in it or are venturing out.

Hoping for the latter 😉

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SheldonesqueTheBstard · 17/01/2022 21:13

I’ve already cringed myself inside out.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 17/01/2022 21:38

Ulrika dipped out. Tal is more boring than a drill.

LCB nearly nipped out. Posher dude is not tickling her fancy let alone anything else.

Abz has flipped out. In his own little world but that ain’t no match for him. Only thing bigger than her snideyness is her hoops.

Miles has slipped out. Or little Miles will.

Nikita has tripped out. She’s feeling it.

RyandashMark has just gipped. It could be a combination of brows and teeth. But it is probably just the fringe.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 17/01/2022 21:41

Paul just been burned by Nikita for being shite on MAFSuk.

True dat.

Blueberrycreampie · 17/01/2022 22:12

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I'm finding it too overtly sexual - it's far too in your face! What happened to romance? This programme used to be funny, entertaining and I felt interested in some of the celebs. Now I feel it's out to shock and it's no where near as good. Is it just me?

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 17/01/2022 22:19

No. Unfortunately it isn’t just you.

I got some whippersnapper calling me Edwardian for saying I use the word courting.

That was what was missing.

Profiles, Insta, gigs, moolah. That’s what it feels like.

If anyone went for sexual banter on a first meeting, it would turn me right off.

Blueberrycreampie · 17/01/2022 22:37

Ha that's good to hear! Tbh I've been out the dating scene for 30 years and hopefully won't need to enter it again any time soon. I get the impression that the producers are trying to sex it up to make it like Love Island or similar. I just wish it was more like it used to be. It doesn't help that I hardly know who these 'celebs' are! 🤬

Blueberrycreampie · 17/01/2022 22:39

@SheldonesqueTheBstard Just read your previous comment. Very good! 😂

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 17/01/2022 23:32

I’ve been on my own for about 17 years now. Maybe a wee bit more.

I haven’t Hollywood teeth, no full hairy brows (migrated to my chin and top lip) and the menopause has not been kind.

I’m too bloody scared to date as I would be such a huge disappointment looks wise that no one would want to get know me.

There’s be no swiping as they’d have dropped their phone at my profile and broken it in fright…

But I see dating programmes and read so many stories on here that I think that maybe it isn’t for me anyway.

Times have changed. And I don’t think I have. 🥴

I want to see romance. I love the thought of love.

This isn’t that.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 18/01/2022 00:35

Full disclosure by the way. I’ve been persuaded to return to my normal name so I’ve changed back. I’m not a pupppppppetttt.

🌈 🦓 warrior 😘

TitsInAbsentia · 18/01/2022 10:11

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

Full disclosure by the way. I’ve been persuaded to return to my normal name so I’ve changed back. I’m not a pupppppppetttt.

🌈 🦓 warrior 😘

Cue me humming the real slim shady...gues who's back.....welcome home!
TitsInAbsentia · 18/01/2022 10:18

My bobs worth - only go live watching on this when it gets juicy, we shall have to see if that happens....

Ulrika, starting to look a bit weird poppet, nees to quit the nips'n'jabs. Feeling bad for her though, I mean Tal...pinging between creepy, boring and just downright peculiar - what's with the put on voice? I'd have feigned a shart attack to get out of that date. Plus I'd have got that bottle open quick smart, he laboured it, bloody amateur.

Miles's date - 24? And some love. And they're really talking about sex in a way that's far too out there for a first date so clearly they have chuff all in common if they are there already. I mean flanter if you like but leave it there.

Chloe people are intimidated by your orange glow...wonder how she looks without all that contour/highlight? She was sitting with her hand on her hip most of the time, was that to stop the top popping? Date seemed ok to be fair, best of a bad bunch etc. Actually not sure that says much for him at all Grin

Abz - ugh, just ugh. How did she not run? I mean in fairness she had those honking earrings on and she wasn't all that but somebody give the bloke an etch a sketch or something, he looks like someone was on a call to their broadband provider and didn't have a notepad so just doodled all over his mug. Fair age diff too, suspect he wouldn't perhaps entertain someone of his own age (42 for reference)? Be interesting to see if they do give him some older chickens.

Ryan-Mark....hilarious face! Similarly hilarious fringe on his date!
And no. The microwave is not a popty ping, I thought everyone knew that was a myth? RM has developed a persona without character which is a shame, but then he's only 21, which is a shocker in itself, only the smoothness of mug/coupon gives that truth.

Nikita.....ahhhh Nikita....so her date also has that odd fringe thing going on, is that a thing for blokes? I'd be reaching over to mess that up right off. I think those two are probably well suited, he seems a little...well, like set custard? Wonder if they'll match again!

Actually, custard all round....I mean "oh I had no idea they were watching us" look, even if they weren't the whole bally thing is being filmed you wombats! Paul in a kilt...nope...her in a bathrobe...I was thinking the face to face feedback wouldn't work as it wouldn't be brutal enough but then the 3 out of 10 for Ryan-Mark came in - GOLD!

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 18/01/2022 11:12

What a summary tits 🤩

I think there are too many personas on there. At the moment, I feel that only Abz is genuinely looking for love.

The rest have all got their game face on or are playing their character.

It is fascinating but not real.

LCB came across as a right bristly madam but I suspect that somewhere in there is a wee soul that has been really hard done by. I thought her ‘6’ was going to be the lowest.

RyandashMark soon sorted that!

Nikita telling her date that she was senza underpinnings?

If I went out without underpinnings, there would be no need to inform anyone sadly.

The real saggy shady.

Blueberrycreampie · 18/01/2022 18:43

May not be able to watch tonight's but I had a dream last night in which Tom asked Ulrikakaka if she was courting! 🤣