Made in Chelsea - series 21

[OysterMonkey]

Anyone watching?
I said this last series, but there’s something about Tristan that I just don’t like. Smarmy?

Tiff is stirring nicely again.
I’m glad Fred is back. I always like him.
Looks like Sophie and Maeva will be having a few set toos, which should be fun.
Sam is doing his annoying sad puppy face.
Slightly irritated vapid Paris is back.

No - but only because I was on call and couldn’t get to the river unless I played hooky.

I considered a paddle before the bus, but I’d have been making a bus seat damp and I don’t want aspersions cast…

So tonight I shall dry one armpit at a time whilst being very flamboyant with the other Pom.

Get you and your Gucci poms.

I’ve gone poundies. They’re possibly bordering on flammable but I’ll stay away from candles.

You are the kind of person who can wear a white shirt and look crisp eh sophie? Well jel

I’m pure poundies but with a Chanel heart

RabCSheldon

Having that thank you sweetie 😘

The lie:
Of course I can wear my designer label white shirts and look crisp (flicks an imaginary speck of dust off shoulder), can't everyone daarling?

The truth.
No.
More Primani, with a dollop of ketchup down the front, mate.

You're welcome @RabCSheldon
(Shakes Gucci pom poms in delight at inspiring new moniker)

These two new fuckers ? Paris and new bloke... who and why? Utterly pointless characters!!

Paris has always been pointless. Now she’s gobby (with no reason) and pointless.
I suspect she’s added the gob for either edge, or to keep her place on the show.
That new fella (Robbie, I think) - utterly bland.

Loving @RabCSheldon 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I know - isn’t it a marvellous nc?

I haven’t seen tonight yet but I bloody loved Paris last week. I put flipflopped myself

Pure not put

It is truly marvellous dahhhling (best Chelsea accent there for you Rab!!)

Flip flop away 🩴🩴!! I’ll think you’ll like Paris tonight “sweetheart” 🤣

The 3 little bitches are being called out by a far bigger one.

Wtaf is tiff wearing? Same goes for the Frau. It might work for Villanelle dears…

And Olz being snidey about Tristan then wanting fun. By throwing a fuckin dinner party. Because they are known to be full of shits and giggles eh? Tit.

I hope there are no fillers on the menu. Some have had far too much of that.

And he could barely squeeze out a tear and a sniff during the coming out tale.

I’m bloody loving Paris. Can’t help it.

Harv has got the ick re the baby stuff. On go the Nikes - off run the feeties.

Meanwhile Em’s ovaries are whirling round like dervishes and her foof is emitting the call of the sirens to lure in the manjoose.

Tris and Liv break up. If it is as Tris said (over familiarity with Tiff after he’d been asked to get on with her) then fook that. I’d be offski. Liv sounds like haaaaaaaard work.

You’re being silly/give me a kiss won’t work if someone is screaming fuck off in your face. Interesting that Liv didn’t say she was getting jel about Tiff. 🤨

Brave my arse.

Liv has a switch. And a victim one at that. He is right. There is no winning.

Eloooeasy can twist it any way she wants. They were looking out for her. But I reckon Maeva won that. And Paris was a close runner up.

Eloooeasy was last. Weren’t you sweetheart 🤣

Bjshots too. Classy.

Rubyrubyrubyruuuuuuuuuuuubyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy And her bastard drawling.

I wouldn’t care if I didn’t hear that again till literally Maaaaaaaaaaaaarch ….

Though by the look of things her fooooooooooooof is calling out to Miles. And it has grown fingers and is dragging him in and he’ll be drawn in feet first until that foppish hat is blocking his exiiiiiiiiit.

And all like the fucking like repetitive likes like. Like seriously. Like give it a fucking like resssssssssst.

In my humble opinion, there is nothing more unattractive than a foof stealing a maaaaaaarch on a new target when the rest of the body is still with someonnnnnnnnnnne. Dirtyyyyyy.

Em’s dinner party top. 😬. Less Villanelle and more ‘you’ve been raking bins’.

Ruuuuuuuuubyyyyyyy stirring. Sake.

Happy dinner party fodder. Fo sho.
Ruby got it wronggggggggggg.

Sack her off Rez before she starts her mingewhirling on Miley Pynis.

She deserves so much more does she Miley? Or does she just deserve thee?

Rez thinks they’re on the right track/in the right lane. Love, if we are using transport references? Head on collision mate.

Ruby’s head has joined her foof.

Next week looks fuuuuuuuuun.

Superb summary Rab!

• Ollie’s dinner party for his ‘closest’ friends. Yeah right. More like randomers who happened to be in close proximity.

• Rez shit stirring Harvey’s convo to Ruby. Most peculiar.

• Fair enough if Ruby wants to end it with Rez. But she can’t seriously believe her and Miles have any mileage (thank you, thank you...!)

• Liv / Tristan —> cos of him being over-familiar with Tiff, well that’s just bonkers. Given he said he couldn’t stand her a few weeks, and her him. And all this ‘it’s not over yet’ bollocks. Yeah it is. Clearly.

Mileage.

Badooomtish sweetheart 🤣

Ha ha, I did like that one!! 👍🏻🤣🚗

Aw Rab you do the best summaries.

@ElizabethTudor I thought the same about the Raz shit stirring thing - just why?
And I am getting well irritated by Ollie and the faux blubbing, which is a shame because I always liked him.
Next week Frau's bit of rough is back. Complete with Geordie-shore accent and tatts.

Miles is reeling in Ruby - wait, just wait for Maeva to go nuclear when she finds out.

And yes, to the clothes - Tiff's shirt, and Ems one sleeve woolly jumper thingy. But best of all was Liv's knitted break up vest (channelling her inner Rab me thinks )

So my pom poms are back in their designer box, but will I'm sure be shaken not stirred when either Maeva explodes at Eloise, or Ruby. Or both.

Liv is coming across as unhinged. And all this talk of her being exhausted. From doing fucking what exactly?

She's exhausted from being a spoilt little drama queen of a princess.

Can you remember when she broke up with thingy - oh what was his name .... Drippy? Dipsy? Delboy?

Digby??
Yeah Digby I think.

Was bloody exhausting to watch, went on for weeks and weeks.

I think she is exhausted from trying just to show her bottom teeth.

That and Tiff and Em are energy vampires (recognising your work Colin Robinson 😍) and have sooked her dry.

The back of her neck must be stringer than that vest with sinews.

Is it just me being weird, or does Rez remind anyone of a rockhopper penguin?

@SophieB100 - “But best of all was Liv's knitted break up vest (channelling her inner Rab me thinks wink)”
Genius!

@eatsleepread - that’s a great spot!

@eatsleepread
Good spot. But the penguin has more self awareness, he knows he's stood on the edge of a cliff, and Milesguin, his 'mate' needs keeping an eye on. Rez on the other hand......

Now I've seen Miles on the tube (last year, just before lock down) I may have said (boasted) about this before. He is very, extremely, awesomely good looking (in that all the females under the age of 40, and quite a few males too) were going to pieces with sheer lust at the sight of him. I'm old enough to be his mum (at least) so I appreciated him at a distance, the way one does when they view a fine piece of art. But, he is TINY! So small. I'm 5'8" and I towered above him (as I accidently brushed past him by accident as I left to get off before we were too far into posh London - I know my place and it isn't South Ken). My point is that Rez looks tiny next to him! So Rez and Ruby are not real people - they are miniatures. Mini Chelsea peeps. Mini penguins.
So whoever pppppicks up the Rez penguin, after tiny Ruby and tiny Miles get it on, will need to bear this in mind. It won't be Eloise, his beaky little nose would be level with her knees.

The pocket penguin Rez needs to stop stirring up shit and the Micro-God Miles, will f*ck Ruby over in one fell episode I’ll wager. He’s only interested in the chase.

I saw Paris outside having dinner at Scott's last night. I recognised the voice first. She was giving people the filthiest looks. I always liked to think the characters are just playing up to the cameras, but ones I've seen out and about in London really are so up their own arses. Except Frederik, he stepped out of my way once and he had the loveliest smile.

Glad to hear that Frederik was a gent - I think he's the most grounded and kindest of the lot.
My friend saw Lucy W many years ago in a bar, she is miniscule, but seemed quite friendly, certainly not "look at me, me, me" and my DD knows Millie M (or did about 5 years ago) through business contacts, so not in a social setting, and said she was a delight to deal with.
So not all bad.

@SophieB100 I'm sure there are some really nice ones and some horrors, just like real life! I got such a good feeling about Frederik, he was so courteous and gentlemanly and those lovely warm eyes, I was really taken by him!
I wouldn't necessarily have expected Millie to be nice, so that's good to hear!
I do wonder if it's some of the smaller characters who have unnecessarily big egos. The only other one I've seen is Kimberly garner (who I'm not sure if anyone would remember). I was being served in a shop and she looked me up and down like I was a slug, then barged in like I wasn't there and started demanding to be served!