Bringing up baby- part two on NOW!

[Megglevampire]

Can't wait to see if CV is wearing joggers...

This program has really upset me. I remember when my son was born-my MIL said i was spoiling (and making him 'crafty') by picking him up and BFing on demand. Luckily I followed my instincts-told them to get lost and have a very happy baby. Wish I had thought of using a sling tho...maybe for my 2nd. (god am so broody now!)

I really hope the twin mummy watches it and thinks WTF... The alternative is that she watches it and thinks 'yes, it was hard, but look what placid babies I have now'...

Yeh, because they've learnt that no-one cares and no-one comes.

ProjectIcarus, I was 'truby kinged' and as i said below, I am a nutcase, seriously emotionally dysfunctional. Happily I have managed to mother as i wished I'd been mothered - co-sleeping, demand feeding, and my one year old at play group is so confident he siddles up to other mums for cuddles and cheerfully ignored me for the full hour, just checking in now and again with eye contact. I have no doubt that all my love has not 'spolied' him - a favourite warning of my mother's. This programme has really revealed something to me. My wise midwife said when LO was newborn that my mum was so heavily critical of my approach because she was envious and jealous. Now i see how distraught the twins' mother was and how she had to steel herself and be bullied to go against her instincts, I get an inkling of how my mother somewhere deep in herself may feel terrible regret that she didn't just do as she longed to but instead did as she was told. May explain a lot about her discomfort with my mothering style. Especially as i am a classic 'nuerotically attached' person and my son a 'securely attached' one.

The one thing I was cheering at was when co-sleeping "won" as in - you get the best night's sleep.

AND ANOTHER THING!
what about the mother's mental well being?
If I were not "allowed" to cuddle and care for my baby as my instincts told me to, I probably would have been an emotional wreck.... well, more of an emotional wreck anyway!

Ah, I forgot, KM.

She just gets worse, why on earth didn't the granny tell her to p*ss off

dear gos please go here now and complain...

www.ofcom.org.uk/complain/progs/specific/?itemid=286480

So, anyway. Same time, same place, next week?

I was absolutely incandescent with rage by the end of this. What an evil evil bitch that woman is.

Lomondgal
I use a sling- I made all of mine if you look on my profile you'll see dd in hers.

I can also put my ds who is a really big 3 yr old in it too (as a hip seat)

I didn't intend to use one with her but she had really bad reflux when she was tiny and it was a lifesaver. She still loves it now (4 months)

I didn't step outside of the house until LO was 6 weeks old. That may be extreme for some but for me it was right and I needed that time to readjust to the world. Looking back i don't regret that time snuggled up in my nest for a minute. It was like a dream time. Being underwater in a dzzy, exhausted but deeply happy content way. There are different phases to life. Early motherhood and dining out don't IME fit well together, they belong to different phases.

What really really makes me furious is the bloody stupid commentary. All this "which method is working best" "who is dooing best" "what is the best way to raise a baby".

Who is deciding what is the "best" that they're talking about? It's so so subjective and is a really flabby and nebulous concept. Just an excuse for putting babies through some form of babyolympics, some fucked up experiment. Fails completely to take into account (perhaps because it is impossible) the many completely different feelings, emotions and approaches to having children, as well as the fact that all babies are different.

And of course each parent is likely to believe that the method they ahve chosen is "the fucking best" because to admit otherwise is to accept that you've put your babies through an experiment for the hell of it.

Here's what I asked CS:

1. Were you badly edited in the programme? By that, I mean that a lot of what Claire Verity said to you went seemingly unchallenged. For instance, when she called you a "raving lunatic...no offence" you just looked a bit like a stunned fish.

2. Did you try to get more help for the mum you were mentoring who was struggling with breastfeeding? Did she see a breastfeeding counsellor at all?

3. Do you regret taking part in the programme? Do you feel that by taking part, not only did you help the families you were mentoring, but you also were kind of condoning the abuse of the babies left to scream and forced into loveless routines?

(On the live chat thread in active convos now)

CV is basically teaching them how not to care about their children.

That's why they can go out for dinner and champagne and leave them in the care of an evil witch.

no cuddling for the first week - is this woman for real?

CV did say she was Truby King-ed herself as a baby - which explains a lot n'est ce pas? Is that how these mums want their baby to be??

It was interesting to watch some of this with my own mother. When Rani started crying about the babies being left outside, my mum virtually spat out 'Stupid woman! What's she crying for? Everyone did that years ago.' I know very well that my mum was Truby King-ed, at least to an extent. She has chronic mental health issues - depression, anxiety, OCD, etc - and including the 'neurotic attachment' you mention, possum.

I'm not naive or desperate enough to make a direct link between the two but for an armchair psychologist such as myself it's verrrrry interesting....

I don't see how it benefits anyone to have a parent hardened towards their baby from day one, always looking for 'crafty' or 'manipulative' behaviour in their babies and having to prove who's boss. That does not make for a happy family.
People always commented on how my babies were so content (they hardly cried at all as babies) and I firmly believe it was because they were showered with love and affection, picked up when they cried, soothed, cuddled and made to feel wanted, not like an inconvenience.
Those twins are going to look back at this programme and hate their parents for being so selfish.