MAFS Down Under Series Five - Come on . . . join us on the dark side . . you know you want to . . . [grin[

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Ready for the next car crash carnage - please fill up other thread first. I'm sure you can think of something.

(If anyone else has started a thread, let me know and I'll delete this one.

Because he's a Psshead ellenanora*.

He thinks only of his next drink. I hope she likes getting bladdered . . .

That was a belter of an episode! Alicia and her fella! So perfect! Jo is one of the most irritating characters of all time. There is no way that poor bloke will last the honeymoon. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t piss off home while she’s in the toilet. I bloody would.

Jo spilled the complimentary champagne down her cleavage while the blood drained from Sean’s face at the prospect of the night ahead.

Does he know she has kids?

Rabbit. Headlights.
Run rabbit, run!

I hope they do offer the couples a separate room if they wish. Poor bloke looked petrified!

Well that was a total car crash 😂 did it not occur to Jo for 1 second that she was not the woman of his dreams

Don't the "experts" check what your type is before this? Jo is very marmite, men are either going to fancy the pants off her or like her poor husband be completely gobsmacked 😁

I don’t love Jo and I get what you mean about the ‘I’m mad, me’ thing, but genuinely my heart broke for her when he said ‘oh shit’ as she walked down the aisle. He didn’t know anything about her at that point and just totally judged her on appearance and didn’t even have the decency to try and pretend he wasn’t disappointed in front of the cameras.

I feel like he’s going to be one of those ‘women say they want a nice guy but...’ creeps.

Agreed that it’s completely poor matching from the experts though

My heart sank too when he said that. He definitely thought he was getting a slender glamour puss. I reckon he’ll bolt at the first opportunity.

Unlike the rest of you, I like Matt and I adore his mum. That would be me!

I agree Garby

Someone said upthread that he thought he deserved a 25 year old hottie, and they were so right! For all he rated himself as "not attractive", he obviously had watched previous series and thought "all those blokes are ordinary - all the women are babes - this is my Big Chance".

I feel sorry for her, too. - She's loud and brash, but i think she's vulnerable - an out there there in her ex-H, who could be laughing his socks off at her situation. This is bloody cruel.

If it continues like this I din't think I can watch. It's one thing when the contestants are able to look out for themselves, but there are already 3 vulnerable women on here and we've barely started.

And the kids should NOT have been shown.

@VinylDetective I like Matt too. I thought he seemed very genuine.

I like Matt's mum, Vinyl - I'm just worried that Matt is going to be a lous, brash bruiser and Alycia is a romantic. I don't think he's a bad bloke the way Spoony and Abandrew (and probably Thumbface) are, but I think he needs a woman who will be able to cope with him coming in sloshed five nights a week and going off with his mates for footy every Saturday - a woman who won't let him intimidate her. I suspect alycia is too naive and lives in a romantic dreamland of cherubs and fairies and unicorns sprinkling happy dust.

But Matt likes cleaning and romcoms - he’s like a straight gay man!

Sarah reminds me of Sophie Dahl and Telz reminds me a bit of Bob Morley who plays Bellamy Blake in The 100.

Alicia is just like Katherine Jenkins. She does an amazing job of losing weight.

I really want Alicia and Matt to work out.

Matt looked after his nan!! I have total faith in him!

I really hope I don't regret that statement 🤣

I have totally just cried with laughter at that poor man ... he was terrified, I had visions of him literally running away!

She's going to sexually assault him in the night 😳 if it was a man being that lairy and a woman actually stuttering with nerves (and possibly disgust/revulsion) we'd be up in arms!!

SchadenfreudePersonified who is Thumbface*?

Sean reminds me of Vic Reeves or is it Bob Mortimer. One or the other.

Totally wrong for the kids to be at the wedding, totally wrong to match someone with kids.

I agree, Italian. The kids looked adorable, that little lad looked so proud to walk his mum down the aisle and although we're laughing at it all, it's kind of sad that the kids are involved and want happiness for their mum and are witnessing what is basically her humiliation. Sorry to say that and I promise not to be a debbie downer.
The 'experts' are officially dreadful and don't know what they're doing.
Meanwhile, Sean is building a pillow fort and emptying the minibar.

The first bloke - can't remember his name . Mooncup said he looked like a thumb that someone had drawn a face on (very perceptive) and it stuck.

Alicia's mum looks very young!

I have loads of questions, do they get to choose their wedding venue and style. who pays etc. I want to know but am scared to google!

Thumbface = Dean

Sean is a tosser - I know Jo is loud, but he hasn't even given her a chance. He could take some time to get to know her as a person - I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of her round obnoxiousness is sheer bravado and inside she is an under confident, frightened little waif, who has had a horrible marriage to a man who undermined and insulted her destroyed her confidence, and she learned to hide her tears behind a wall built of loud in-yer-faceness.

(NB - this is pure speculation - she may be a raging nymphomaniac - but I honestly think that is a protective facade, and much as she grates on me, I think she's very vulnerable. Sean, however, has proved to be an *rse. It's not a legal marriage - he could have allowed her some dignity and kept things courteous and friendly, but he has been really unkind.

You are no great catch yourself, Sean. You're low-average-looking and don't have the redeeming feature of being a nice, kind man. I hope someone thinks a nickname for you, because mine are unprintable!

It’ll all be paid for out of the production budget.

I had thought they might get some say in the style of the wedding, but then we saw Debbie whining about how they gave her a beach wedding which made her think she was marrying a Polynesian. So it seemed the wedding style was as much out of her hands as the choice of bridegroom.

Having her kids at the wedding is a step way too far.
Bad enough it's people with kids but to actually involve them in the ceremony is a bit much, did she even tell him they were her kids? Where did they disappear to later on?