Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Telly addicts

Self-justifying attention-seeking strategies and manipulative psychoses in Aussie faux-scientific anthropological claptrap. MAFS Part Deux.

999 replies

SchadenfreudePersonified · 24/07/2020 17:43

Hello All.

I hope it's bonza that I took the liberty of starting a second thread - just didn't want us gong walkabout in the bush (pardon my Fronch Grin) if we ran out of the other (whoops did it again!)

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 26/07/2020 03:02

Destinysdaughter "Did anyone else feel that the women were really starting to get cold feet tonight?
( even Nadia!)Especially as the reality of their decisions were sinking in..."

Yes, I do.

Just re-watching the last dinner party too.

I felt the whole netball talk at the dinner party was totally crass. And Sharon asking who the 'hall pass woman' would be for Andrew in front of Cheryl was awful.

Italiangreyhound · 26/07/2020 03:04

Jesse at the dinner party, I felt was hard to watch.

huuunderickssss · 26/07/2020 08:10

The comment about Nadia boobs is obviously a direct comparison to the others but I'm pretty sure the twins and Cheryl have fake boobs so it's not overly fair . She had a lovely figure !!
As an aside has everyone notices how they all have their boobs out at dinner parties with families , it's just not appropriate is it ?? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I would never wear a top like that meeting new family 😬😬

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 08:21

Italian, I’m with you. When he picked the leaf from the top of the tree as they floated past, it all felt a little bit magical. Definitely the best date. Opera in the woods was weird. Hard to sit on the floor in a dress comfortably (not that Spoony would have considered that) and just sitting watching people sing opera would be immensely dull even if you enjoy it. Going to the opera is all about the whole pomp of the event isn’t it? If you took me to a picnic in the woods (which is all it is) told me to dress in clothes that don’t suit the terrain and wheeled out my favourite band (meaning I’m trapped, sitting on the floor, unable to chat) I'd hate it.

Surely Stoney is the water torturer. Abandrew could stay calm for long enough

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 08:22

Oops. Spoony not stoney

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 08:23

And couldn’t stay calm enough, not could.

That final paragraph is a mess

AnneOfQueenSables · 26/07/2020 09:05

I'd like the boat ride. We did something similar on holiday last year and it was lovely.
I'm starting to wonder if Nadia doesn't care that Anthony is awful at parties because she actually just wants someone to pay for everything. Now she's wondering if she can get someone richer because she has been on TV and they could pay for the entire opera for her not just extras doing highlights in the wood Grin

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 10:02

Grin the boat ride would be my second choice. I keep thinking I’ve worked out Nadia, but I still haven’t decided is she’s calculating or clueless.

I’ve been filling up the old thread with my long term predictions for each of them (I guarantee I have not googled anything!) I couldn’t bring myself to do Lauren or the stripper and his date or cheryl’s first husband, but I’ve done the rest. I hope I’m right.

WhattheHhashappened · 26/07/2020 10:19

Xpost with Rinder on old thread! I ruined the last two posts sorry! 😂

ginandgingers92 · 26/07/2020 10:19

@Rinder your predictions were great. One can only hope it comes true for all of them 🤞🏼🤞🏼

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 10:27

Thanks gin, I considered writing something funnier for the four I like, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I’m an old romantic at heart.

WhattheH Grin my favourite final posts are the imperfect ones, or when someone says “So how many more posts have we got?” and it sits there forever unanswered.

KurriKawari · 26/07/2020 10:54

Nadia has said she wants a strong male in her life taking charge cos she has had no father in her life. But it realising that loud and obnoxious does not equal strong. Anthony built but of this facade of who he with had shiny shoes and shiny face going on about his "career". But after seeing his flat she realises that his life style isn't what she thought and will it help her escape her weird swimming pool/instagram model/air hostess life. She def wants to be a trophy wife to a man with money n prestige and manners, none of which Anthony has but maybe she can see he might one day so she is willing to put up with everything else.

LarkDescending · 26/07/2020 10:59

Rinder those updates have made my morning! But we need to know what happens to Jonathan and Scarlett. Do they emigrate to Texas together, produce gun-toting triplets and inadvertently sneeze Covid all over Donald Trump at an election rally?

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 11:09

Jonathon and Scarlet coming up!

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 11:28

After Cheryl finally called it quits with Jonathon he returned to his friends and family to find the blonde friend who caused a kerfuffle at his wedding has been dating his dad! Shocked by the news he goes out drinking and who should turn up, but this friend. She tells him that after watching him marry Cheryl she’d had to confront her feelings about him, and since he was already married she’d let those feeling move on to his dad.

At that moment he admitted that the only reason he’d even married Cheryl was to make her jealous and moved in to kiss her, but she pushed him away. Unfortunately for him, she continued to explain, his dad was a real “goer” and she was really happy now.

His confidence knocked - first his wife doesn’t fancy and worship him, and now the woman he tried to make jealous hasn’t fallen at his feet - he decides to use his IT powers to take over the world. He creates an app called “Screw you Cheryl, I’m hot!” designed to take the world by storm. Unfortunately no one subscribes, but luckily there is a new IT woman in his office who has painfully low self esteem! Jonathon decides to try his luck with her. All seems to be going well until she reveals she was only dating him to make his friend jealous.

He suddenly remembers Scarlett! How could he have forgotten! He texts her and she tells him she is still living at home and trying to write her book (with love hearts over the i’s natch), but that she’d be willing to give it a go.

What she doesn’t tell him is that since doing the show she’d been training as a stunt woman, because she felt she needed a skill to fall back on in case the writing didn’t work out.

On their very first date, and with advice from one of the experts (who shall remain nameless, John), she decides to surprise him by arranging a “fake” car crash. The plan is that she will go hurtling through the windscreen as her car collides with the lamppost near where he will be sitting. She will hit the lamppost head first (but with a helmet covered in blonde hair and wires pulling her back preventing injury). Hopefully this will inspire his protective side to emerge (says John).

Unfortunately on the day of the date, Jonathon decides it would look cooler to be leaning against a lamppost outside when she arrives. With no time to react or change trajectory, Scarlet hurtles through the air, head butting Jonathon squarely in the jaw, before rebounding and finding her feet.

He was killed instantly, but Scarlett’s autobiography “A Killer First Date” made it into the best seller’s list for three weeks the following year. It was later revealed she had ghost writers involved.

RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 11:28

Lark, your version is better

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/07/2020 12:30

Destinysdaughter

It wasn't aimed at either of them - I found it on another thread (it's from a book about the games that men play to manipulate and control women) and like you, I thought it applied to both Abandrew and AnTHony. They are both creepy, manipulative, controlling, gaslighting men - I think that Abandrew is slightly less good at it, because he needs to be the centre of attention in a group and ends up condemnnghimself out of his own mouth. Spoony is publicly quite content to offer lots of rope to someone else (like Abandrew) and sit back and watch the ensuing fireworks.

As for Jesse writing in caps, I did wonder if Michelle was dyslexic because she looked panicked when he asked her to read it aloud. Of course, she might just have been worried about what it was going to say.

I hadn't thought of that - you could be right. I wonder if that might be what has made her so dependent on her sister? (Mind - Jesse's a "words-of-one-syllable" guy himself - perhaps they aren't so badly suited after all.)

The experts are totally buying Nick and Sharon. I totally do not.

These particular "Experts" are rubbish!

There were pop psychology quiz compilers who used to write for the "Jackie"* who had more insight into human behaviour than these so-called "experts"

*Probably now writing for "Heat" magazine

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/07/2020 12:44

Speaking of the notes, is anyone else thinking the doodles are getting unnecessary attention!!

Just don't get me started! Angry

As an aside has everyone notices how they all have their boobs out at dinner parties with families , it's just not appropriate is it ?? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I would never wear a top like that meeting new family

I have been thinking that. I wouldn't even dare with my own family - my mother would have been covering my cleavage up with a tea towel or something, and saying to my father. "Eddie - get up in the loft. There a green suitcase on the left hand side - it's got all her old liberty bodices in it . . . "

And I agree that Nadia has a lovely figure - and is as nature made her. Cheryl and the twins are more of a tribute to the plastic surgeon's art, I'm sure.

Italian, I’m with you. When he picked the leaf from the top of the tree as they floated past, it all felt a little bit magical.

I'm not romantic, and I have a sheer terror of heights, but I have to admit I thought that was a lovely gesture.

I’ve been filling up the old thread with my long term predictions for each of them (I guarantee I have not googled anything!)

Excellent Rinder - I did feel guilty about leaving a page empty, but sometimes they fill up in flash and people fall off the edge. I'll have a look at your prophecies!

Lark and Rinder - excellent predictions, both of you - and for Scarlett's sake I hope she reads this thread and sees this bit:
since doing the show she’d been training as a stunt woman, because she felt she needed a skill to fall back on in case the writing didn’t work out
and follows the advice, because my word, she needs it! Grin

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/07/2020 13:03

Just flipped back and read the "updates" - Rinder they are FANTASTIC! Loved them!

SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ RINDER'S PREDICTIONS - DO SO NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM RUINED! (not all the details are here, but some are)

My particular favourites are Nadia's (I like to think she faked her own death using the advice given by Jesse at that last dinner party . . .)

Vanessa's business idea is brilliant! s is Cheryl's dad's TV show (I would watch that in a heartbeat!)

I could see Abandrew becoming a stalker - and an inspiration for creepy men living in their parent's basements . . .

AnTHony - professional "negger" - damn right!

I hope Jesse's soul mate buys him some crayons.

So glad S&S and S&A got a happy ending.

GREAT STUFF!

AND - I want to watch Mel and Trisha's show, too! (In fact, there are days I'd want to be on it!.)

OP posts:
RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 26/07/2020 13:08

Schadenfreude, you definitely did the right thing starting a new one - it was also the perfect time for the title of the thread (which is genius). Very glad you enjoyed my predictions and I LOVE that I get my own spoiler alert.

I should totally have realised that Jesse inspired the faking of death and gone with a fire instead. The prediction stands, but the details may change. One day that woman will definitely hit the “what the fuck am I doing?!” point.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/07/2020 13:54

No, No -Rinder - the "faking own death" bit was spot on! Years later she looks back on the time of her marriage to AnTHony, and thinks "If' it wasn't for that Spoon-faced Twonk, that Giant Toddler Jesse, and The Dinner Party From Hell, I'd still be married to (let's call him "Bruce") and would never have got the opportunity to love a luxurious life in a state of 25-year-old-stud-induced sexual ecstasy. Who would have thought that the inane ramblings of that amiable idiot and the teeth of a corpse (available from Amazon for only Aussie-$22-17 ) would be my passage to eternal bliss and uninhibited sensual delight?"

And she would smile quietly to herself, having noticed Spoony's book lying in the "remaindered" bin, and heard reports of him carrying armfuls of shopping for his tiny, but ferocious, stunningly beautifully but sexually distant oriental wife . . . and her toy-boy Polynesian lover . . .

OP posts:
BiggerBoat1 · 26/07/2020 14:42

The twins are so horrible. I don't think either of them ever had any intention of finding a long-term relationship. They just wanted to get on the telly. Because Sharon is the tougher nut, she managed to fake it better. Both men are dim enough to be taken in by them, but it is really cruel.

Sean was so gorgeous when he picked the leaf off the top of the tree. I can totally see why Susan has fallen for him.

Simon and Alene are still my favourites. They are so sweet together.

Spoony scares the living shit out of me.

Destinysdaughter · 26/07/2020 14:56

Haha those predictions are BRILLIANT!!

WhattheHhashappened · 26/07/2020 15:07

Simon and Alene are still my favourites. They are so sweet together.

Simon is gorgeous- I watched an interview with him on you tube (don’t worry, no spoilers) and he really is a lovely person (and lovely to look at).
When he and Alene got married I didn’t see any attraction from her towards him - his hair really did hide his gorgeous features.

Honeyroar · 26/07/2020 15:21

Yes those predictions are brilliant. Well done!

Swipe left for the next trending thread