I give you clear warning, this place is goiing to go NUTS when Channel Four airs Bringing Up Baby on the 25th Sept... Claire Verity!!!

[Aitch]

seriously. i'm watching it now for work and it is terribly upsetting. Claire Verity says 'i'm a bitch, i'm mean to them but it works', no touching, no eye contact, lots of talking about 'baby', presumably because she can't be arsed remembering the name... oh it's AWFUL.

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I just HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE all parenting gurus who spout their shite at parents who could do a good enough job by simply following their instincts.

Some babies cry alot, some don't. Some babies eat alot, some don't. Some babies sleep alot, some don't.
All the LTH boys have been at least one of tose....

There isn't a book in the WORLD that will change that.

IMO you just have to ride it out (although I agree the sleep one is a pretty rough ride)

Follow your instincts.

Parenting gurus make my head want to explode.

If I have a cry, I want a cuddle. If my 8 y.o. has a cry, she wants (and gets) a cuddle. It's the most basic way in which humans can tell one another that they are in need of comfort. Why would you deny a baby comfort?

I don't know who this Claire person is, never heard of her.

before I had children what I had picked up from GF seemed sensible mostly because I felt terrified at the thought of having children or more precisely at the changes, loss of control for my life.

of course when I really felt like having children it was all different and I am quite AP

but sometimes I worry about the expectations people have that everything will and should 'get back to normal' after baby

life changing it is embrace it

We interviewed a maternity nurse for (what turned out to be) ds1 (2nd child). She was young (late 20s), and we asked all the usual questions. We weren't massively warming to her, but she seemed very capable etc. Then she said "actually, can I ask you a few questions?". Fine etc. She said "this is a bit of a deal breaker actually.... but I need to know that you would be prepared to let me let the baby cry...". We looked at each other (me and dh). She went on "Once I know the baby is fed, has a clean bottom, and isn't wanting a burp, it's important to just let it cry, or else you'll never get it into a routine. I just find it impossible if the parents try to interfere and pick up the baby at that point".

Deal breaker it was. I suppose at least we have to be grateful that she let us know that was her thang before we considered letting her look after our baby. Who was cuddled when he needed it and still slept through at 12 weeks, for the record. He couldn't be sweeter.

I was so shocked that there were people like her out there, and SO YOUNG!

oh, and we were interviewing her to work with us for 4 weeks from birth. Bloody hell, who would let a 0-4 week old cry?!?!

It is massively upsetting that people would volunteer to do all this on tv, as much as for the invasion of what is such a private intimate time as anything else.

TMMJ - i think if people are told it enough, they'll start to believe its for the best, even if it goes against all their natural instincts.

Pruners - none of us lot (me and three brothers) were Truby Kinged.... in fact, my mum was very much of the Dr Spock ilk. Although she is adamant we were potty trained by 18 months because she had us all sat on a potty from the moment we could sit up!

I had the very goo dluck to be born into a cussed working class family who didn't listen to newfangled gurus and massively mistrusted doctors and the medical establishment! and carried on doing what their mothers and grandmothers did.
hence: cosleeping, bf on demand and for comfort, carrying baby around, lots of cuddles and fresh air, would have told Truby King where to stick his stupid ideas.
sometimes it helps not to read

So this CV woman wouldn't be getting quite the same response on her as Dr T got the other day then?

Oh wish someone has asked Dr T what she thought of CV?..... that would have been interested....

on HERE (not her)

Orangina - we had the same thing with a nanny I interviewed about 18 months ago. She said that she would leave the dses to cry and wouldn't "stand for any nonsense". I asked her to leave right away.

I cannot bear to listen to babies crying. My sil leaves her colicky 8 week old baby to scream for 2 hours every evening. It's cruel. And what's really strange is that she seems proud of herself.

Piggy - dont judge your friend too harshly

My parents were pretty easygoing about most things. It very much went against how they were raised (thankfully).

Your SIL, even.

Piggy, it's horrible isn't it? I'm quite capable to leaving a grousing lo to grumble a bit before they fall asleep, but actually I can't see any reason why a newborn should be left crying at all...
I think there are all sorts of parents who just want an ordered life as close to the pre-baby state as possible. The thing is, it isn't possible! As someone said, you have to embrace the change in lifestyle, not fight it, especially not to the baby's cost.
Still can't understand why this programme would be made and who would volunteer to do it?! Once you're taking part in the programme, do you think you are allowed to opt out or tell the guru to f**k off, or have you signed a gruesome disclaimer?

I was Trubied too pruners. I don't ever remember my mum playing with us, ever. But she lost her own mum as a young child and was in an isolated location, so Truby King was all she had to go on
The man was vile and unhinged. I am so glad aitch tipped us off on this and those wonderful folk at The Social Baby are on to Claire Verity [ugh]

OMG just googled CV 'helped princess Diana'

yep that's all the recommendation I need

Yes - nanny was vetted through an agency. I can snort at it now but at the time I was so upset by it. I had an 8 week old and a 14 month old and was struggling to cope. She told me that ds2's colic was entirely down to my diet and that breastfeeding was overrated. I complained big time to the agency and they actually reprimanded her. They also offered me half price fees but I went elsewhere.

I think someone earlier compared a baby to an animal, throwing a stick for a dog or something,
Thing is, if you watch all those animal/vet programs, if an animal is ever ophaned, someone cares for it, usually taking it home, and giving it round the clock care, cuddles and attention.

Can you imagine if they left a little puppy along crying, there would be an outcry, yet some people think its ok to treat a HUMAN baby this way??

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This I think is a truly terrible example of why childcare 'gurus' should be licensed.

IF you are publishing a book, or offering an advice service to parents then there should be some form of licensing and checks that it conforms to medical guidelines.

MEdical guidelines are there for a reason. Research is done for a reason.

This woman terrifies me.

oh and having researching parenting techniques in the past (mostly 16-18thC) believe me this would have been seen as cruel by a lot of people then. That in itself is scary.