I give you clear warning, this place is goiing to go NUTS when Channel Four airs Bringing Up Baby on the 25th Sept... Claire Verity!!!

[Aitch]

seriously. i'm watching it now for work and it is terribly upsetting. Claire Verity says 'i'm a bitch, i'm mean to them but it works', no touching, no eye contact, lots of talking about 'baby', presumably because she can't be arsed remembering the name... oh it's AWFUL.

It's only from Victorian times onwards I think that it was deemed inappropriate to show emotions or flesh or anything else for that matter.

I'm a recent first time mum and as far as parenting advice goes I'm a complete sponge - willing to listen to/try out anyone's suggestions.

Thankfully I read this book when I was pregnant and decided on this basis to totally ignore all the crap from little old ladies about letting my little baby 'cry it out'. I was honestly willing to listen to anything (especially right now when going through a really shitty time with my insomniac baby), had I not informed myself of the risks of just leaving your baby to howl.

It's scary to think how much damage could be done to children because let's face it, as a first-time parent with a screaming baby/feeding difficulties/sleep deprivation you're pretty damn vulnerable. [shudders]

that is a fantastic book

It is an amazing and important book and should definitely replace some of the floaty tosh in NHS antenatal classes. Without a doubt it will change how my son is brought up.

noone else hate that book? just lonesome me? particularly all that tosh about so called psychosomatic illnesses and (i belive i remember correctly but perhaps not?) cancer survival rates. thought that had all been disproved in bmj? open to being informed otherwise
and i'm on board for the whole bf/cosleeping/baby wearing thang but that book still got on my nerves

tbh morocco it was the mental health side of it that got to me - both OH and I have personal and family histories of depression and I have my own crazy theories about cortisol. I'm just glad I read something which hardened me against the (remarkably frequent) advice to shut my baby elsewhere and leave him when he wants comfort. And be strong when mil is raising her eyebrow "another feed? He can't still be hungry, are you letting him feed for comfort?" ;(

This woman sounds awful and potentially dangerous for first time Mums who have never had much to do with babies in the past.

However I just wanted to say that colicy babies are IMO a completely different kettle of fish from leaving non-colicy babies to cry.

DS2 had colic from around 6-11 weeks between 5-6pm every night and no matter what I tried he cried or should I say SCREAMED.

Feeding/walking/rocking/sushing/changing nappy etc etc, nothing stopped him until 6pm when all of a sudden he would stop then smile at me . In the end I used to put him in his bouncy chair screaming at me in the kitchen whilst I made DS1 tea as I knew he would decide to stop after an hour. Point being that leaving babies with colic to cry when you know nothing you can do will stop it is very different from doing what Claire Verity advises.

Dear chubbyscot that book was fab. I have been going back to The Baby Whisperer again now that DS has hit terrible twos with a vengeance and am struck by her patience wisdom and 'common sense' approach although I know it can be a bit homespun (all those acronyms). I would recommend these to new mothers who want guidance. Difficult to know when to jump in though. My lovely SIL who is due shortly just said something to the effect of 'of course you're not allowed to rock them to sleep are you because it stops them settling themselves.' Made me think she who cannot be named and other parenting gurus should be shot at dawn but gritted my teeth and remained silent.

gegs73 there is a very long (as is the NY's wont) New Yorker article on colic-very interesting-they talk to a baby colic 'expert' interestingly he says exactly what you have just said so succintly. The gist being that a 'ride it out' approach is absolutely justified and that the most potentially damaging effect is the effect on new parent's confidence

I don't know if I will be able to watch it without going mad.

VVVQV - the victorians are a lot to blame for when it comes to emotional development or emotional/psychological health generally and in some areas of physical health. I wouldn't have liked to be alive then.

gegs - absolutely.

I had exactly the same with DS. He started around 5.30-6pm and didnt stop till 10-11pm most nights for the first 12 weeks.

thanks chubby for the book link- i'll check it out!

aitch; are you a journo or are you in production?

I think it is a 4 h programme isn't... i thought the focus was on the history of child rearing.

Bah, hope is not another controversial one; but hey what is television if not a fucking boring controversy after another!

historical schmistorical, it's vile.

i love that HVs in NZ are called plunketts, it's as if all our policement were still peelers.

tbh i don't think CV fully credits TK with her method, but she is mentoring using the TK book. except she appears not to be and appears to take full credit for her repulsive approach.

I have to go to the Plunkett rooms with DS!

yes, they certainly don't follow Truby King any more - thank god.

Truby is a MAN'S name?

Why dont we go back to dressing all our children in girls clothes until theyre 7? Thats a concept no-ones dug up for a while

Truby King is his surname

Haven't got time to read the rest of the thread ATM but I was raised by Truby King's methods and have been in therapy for just about most of my adult life

(Needless to say my own children were fed on demand, picked up when they cried and currently co-sleeping with 6 mo)

Have you seen the article in the Times today where she slags off mothers like us i.e ones that think they wouldn't use such cruel methods on a dog (and I dont even like dogs)? She more or less says that we are all ugly, unwashed hippies. Considering how many of us are working professionals I thought it was a bit of a cheek. I very much favour a happy medium approach (bf, slings, bit of co-sleeping but also a modicum of structure, teaching to self settle etc (when appropriate - not bloody newborns!) - some of the baby whispherer techniques etc) but the sad thing is, I probably would have fallen for this approach as a panicky first time parent - but now I can see how much damage it could cause. How are so-called gurus like this given so much credence in our society when all the available scientific evidence suggests how damaging this approach can be in later life?

Times article is a hoot, all she does is whinge about hecklers at the babyshow and call them disgusting

oooh, is there a link to the piece?
sorry to hear about your bad TK experiences, evenhope.

women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article2490406.ece

i can't get it to work as a link so cut and paste, ladies. and at her animals!

Those adverts made me broody

All those floppy headed babies.