I give you clear warning, this place is goiing to go NUTS when Channel Four airs Bringing Up Baby on the 25th Sept... Claire Verity!!!

[Aitch]

seriously. i'm watching it now for work and it is terribly upsetting. Claire Verity says 'i'm a bitch, i'm mean to them but it works', no touching, no eye contact, lots of talking about 'baby', presumably because she can't be arsed remembering the name... oh it's AWFUL.

Attachment theory is not the same as attachment parenting. Co-sleeping has worked for many parents for years tho not a good idea of drinking/smoking common sense I think.

Attachment theory advocates consistent LOVING and a non critical stance to your child. When a baby they crt out of sheer need for affection and human closeness, to deny a baby this is to break it's trust, raise it's cortisol levels (stress hormone) and lead to feelings of insecurity and abandonment. Therefore cuddling and comforting and every available opporotunity is the ay evolution intended it to be.

Thats' why attachment parenting advocates carrying the baby in a sling, closeness warmth etc. I didn't attachment parent but took the middle ground. Never left her to cry, slept on the breast closeness etc. didn't co-slepp cos too scared of squashing her!

And my dd lanismum! A sling all day otherwise she screamed earsplitting blue colic murder. What would CV advise for a severely colicky baby? The same? Bad enough for babies without terrible stomach ache.

I couldn't work out how i knew that name

Aitch, I think we can safely say you were right
(thread title)

they don't orangehead. seriously, they don't, at least not in ep 2. lol.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COMPLAIN???????????????????????

POOOOOOOOR BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minnie, she would advise earplugs. probably

or a slap
(well she didn't but I wonder)

another thing I have just thought of before i go to bed - what about serious illness eg meningitis? official guidelines are to be watchful and keep an eye on babies with fever or other signs of illness - so that swift, life-saving action can be taken in the case of eg meningitis. How the f* can you do that if your newborn is down the other end of the effing garden for 4 hours or shut in it's own room all night?

I am not necessarily ranting against routines by the way - I think flexible routines can have their place once the babies are a bit older and did use one loosely based on baby whispherer stuff with ds 1 and can see how you might need one with twins eg (though the more I learn about babies and in hindsight, am getting more tribal by the minute with my newborn) - but what this woman advocates goes way beyond that - I think her methods are dangerous and abusive.

I take the point about the other end of the spectrum eg suffocation while co-sleeping etc but that is an informed choice that some make - this program was not showing how dangerous her methods were and how contrary to current medical and scientific thinking.

I am shocked and apalled by this CV woman. It almost made me cry. And there is no way on gods earth I would be leaving my baby outside unattended. Quite apart from loony abductors and bad weather, how the hell can anyone say a fox would definitely not take a baby? They will take anything!
These parents are mad, quite simply. If her methods are making them cry, nuff said.

OK - SOMEONE NEEDS TO PLAY DEVIL'S ADVOCATE HERE.

conceptions of childcare, mothering, and baby's needs change from generation to generation, from society to society.

that, surely, was part of the programme's thesis.

the responses on this thread demonstrate exactly this. we live in a very particular moment in a very particular time. look - we even have one of europe's busiest websites just so we can all discuss the minutae of parenting.

when we judge methods that seem so very alien to us, how much are we judging what we percieve to be the parent's motivation for choosing to raise a baby in a certain way?

yes I thought about meningitis
I think babies with meningitis don;t cry - go floppy and quiet
You'd probably notice if you went to cuddle them, or kiss them

amen Tyaca

It's cruel and abusive that's why, no one on here condones abuse this goes way beyond parenting methods

it made the parents cry
unlike the other parents

Too many parents these days are selfish enough to believe that they can have a baby for an accessory. This means a baby who can be bought out as a fashion accessory and an addage to their materialistic lives. If there were not parents who wanted CV's services she would not be charging £1000 a day. I think her methods are abhorent, but my SIL thinks she's great. I just pity my new nephew/niece when it is born.

That's because the program was reinstating a method that had been out of favour for decades due to the fact that scientific and medical advancements and understanding of the psychological development of babies have shown it to be an unsatisfactory way to treat a baby. I have no problem with a historical examination of baby care methods but it is not justifiable to inflict them on real life babies and families in this day and age in the name of entertainment.

Instinct about your child is derived from knowledge of them. So you get a feeling that something is wrong with them, and investigate before it's too late. So you know that they have a problem and can address their needs even though they can't tell you.

If you're detached from your child from the outset, you won't develop that instinct. You'll cut your parenting legs off.

And it doesn't get easier as time goes on.

Sleeping though the night at 2 weeks, but delinquent at 13 years possibly?

good post NoBiggy

I do genuinely wonder

• if a baby is to be ignored as much as possible, and tolerated when it can't be ignored, and assuming this continues throughout childhood, what is the point of having children at all? and, again cos no-one answered!
• if a baby is born at 7.01, does it have to wait 3hrs59m for its first feed?

Just because we live in a certain time and place doesn't mean we can't fight for basic rights for all, cultural relativism is meaningless, no wrong, if it means you are willing to sit back and let things that are abusive or (in other situations) repressive, inhumane etc. devils avocate is one thing but not on this basis. I think everyone has to judge, lets face it we do and we argue that's how we work out what seems right.

But look at the women who had Truby Kinged their babies in the '50s on the prog.

They weren't happy about it either!

And I know LOTS of older women who've said to me "I wish I'd known it was all right to cuddle my babies as much as you cuddle yours" to me - especially when DS2 was tucked up in his sling.

How thick do you think we are, btw? It's not about being "of the moment" - it's about basic human needs being met or not. And if you have a baby and reject its needs so categorically from the word go, that's so blatantly a problem that anybody who can't see that - well, I have to wonder about their intelligence levels and motivation, really!

err xposts methinks hm

the saddest thing for me was the 9 year old sister of baby Mia saying " i just wanted to have a cuddle" , ipoor kid, i bet she has looked forward to that baby arriving for months and being a big sister, that started me crying....