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Original poster

Apprentice fans, have your CV's at the ready!

301 replies

dillite · 02/10/2019 13:33

It's that time of year where we watch a school of twats try and out twat each other all for the sake of... No idea. To be forgotten? Become a Love Island z-lister?

Anyway, if you are in, then I shall see you at 9pm tonight!

OP posts:
Wheniwasjustalittle · 03/10/2019 05:01

I can't believe the girls won. That wine tour was a complete shambles.

ellenanora5 · 03/10/2019 08:34

I missed it Sad but will catch up for the next episode, was keeping an eye out for your thread dillite thanks for starting up again Smile

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 03/10/2019 08:43

@Amibeingnaive brilliant summary Grin

Steala · 03/10/2019 12:20

The arrogance of Lottie! "Chardonnay is something I would drink in winter with a fish dish". She's 19. How many winters has she been drinking?! Does she really think the preferences she has developed on such a short time-frame should influence others'?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/10/2019 12:26

Ohh yes - Lottie’s wine ‘knowledge’ got right on my tits. How can she think they’d be better off listening to her than to the woman from the winery - whose actual job is knowing about wine, and who was probably having her first glass when Lottie was back in Primary school. But nooooo - Lottie just can’t shut up.

It is car crash tv - and I can only watch it when dh is away - luckily he is going to be away a lot in the next few weeks, so I can watch all the trashy tv I want!

Bellasblankexpression · 03/10/2019 12:57

Its appalling this year and yet I will still watch.

The tasks get more and more ridiculous. In what business would you have to book, sell, and actually host the tour yourself - especially when it’s not about anything you have expert knowledge about (I’m looking at you Lottie).
It would be far more interesting if they could do it how an actual company might do it - hire people for all the different parts and then work alongside them. There would still be plenty of entertainment, you know they would forget to hire catering or be talking all over the experts or hire the wrong experts etc etc

Honestly I had to watch some of it on mute, the cringeworthiness was making my toes curl. Can’t stand any of them.

But I’ll be back next week for more Grin

CassandraCross · 03/10/2019 14:49

I honestly don't know if I will last this series because they are all so hideous, if I don't warm up a bit to a couple of them in the next two weeks I shall probably bin it off. This is the first season I've felt like life's too short to waste on watching twats being insufferable twats so this crop of candidates have really hit an all time low with me!

LaMarschallin · 03/10/2019 14:50

I like it because - unlike a lot of reality television - people do get called out for spouting nonsense.

"Ah, no. I didn't exactly say that. I meant... witter witter".
Only to be shown film of them saying exactly that.

Like some people who apply to go on television quiz shows, I suspect that they may be the best/brightest of a very mediocre group and get a very inflated opinion of their own abilities and/or intelligence.

LaMarschallin · 03/10/2019 14:52

Also:

Amibeingnaive

Lottie knows as much about wine as Lord Sugar knows about comic timing

made me smile.

Italiangreyhound · 03/10/2019 14:54

I loved the information on the animals. How old are these rhinos.... well... i think... and don't quote me on this... and i could be wrong...and it's just what i feel but... rhinos can live to 70.

Great.

try google....

White rhinoceros: 40 – 50 years

Black rhinoceros: 35 – 50 years

Indian rhinoceros: 35 – 45 years

Maybe I should start running tours!!

I love it though.

Who knows who they want to win already????

CassandraCross · 03/10/2019 14:55

LaMarschallin it's only saving grace is that when they all deny what they said/did their re-writing of history is acerbically pointed out to them in either the Board Room or on You're Fired. Trouble is at the moment I want them all to be fired and a new lot shipped in!

Orgyofsausages · 03/10/2019 14:56

It's 'CVs', OP. There are no apostrophes in plurals. Wink.

Defenestrator · 03/10/2019 15:09

Ha that reminds me - when I worked as a PA a while ago my then boss asked me if I would only put one space after a full stop (I was taught differently a long time ago). I was able to say I would lose the second space if he would stop putting apostrophes in plurals Grin Given he was a professor he couldn't really argue.

Original poster
dillite · 03/10/2019 19:30

orgy I blame autocorrect :D And I do know that there's no apostrophe in CVs, honest, I do.

OP posts:
Bellasblankexpression · 03/10/2019 19:47

@Defenestrator love that

Sralan’s jokes just get worse and worse don’t they. I bet Lottie is going to be in the final three.

I can’t take Ryan Mark seriously.

Loveislandaddict · 03/10/2019 19:53

@itsliangreyhound quite like Lewis, the first project manager. Felt he gave a spirited defence in the boardroom. Maybe a little too heated but some valid points. Felt he led his team well.

Amongst the women, I liked the one who told someone off for interrupting the ladies’s project manager (name?).

Although, apart from Lottie lion, haven’t really worked who is who amongst the women. The men are slightly more individual in looks.

Amibeingnaive · 03/10/2019 19:59

In fairness, that guy asking about the rhinos was expecting a lot. I'd have said something facetious like: 'well that one on the left was born in 1999 and he's an Aquarius, which is interesting, as his mating partner is actually a Virgo, so theoretically they shouldn't be a great match, especially factoring in the 9.5 year age difference, but theirs is a love that won't be bound by convention'.

I did think the result was a bit of a shame because actually the customers enjoyed the safari, whereas even getting shitfaced couldn't make Lottie more bearable. I'm only surprised they didn't all ask for their money back, and compensation to boot!

I did enjoy the comprehensive tour of the sculpture garden. The artist works with metal AND stone, you say?

Amibeingnaive · 03/10/2019 20:00

@Loveislandaddict she wasn't interrupting, she was contributing Hmm

ScreamingValenta · 03/10/2019 20:08

The safari customers got a bargain - a four hour safari for the price of two hours! I'm sure most people would prefer two hours' extra safari to the two hours rock painting and buying cuddly tiger tat in the giftshop that they should have had.

Amibeingnaive · 03/10/2019 20:11

I did sympathise with Lewis, but he shouldn't have lost his shit like that.

I think too much was made of that other guy saying he'd sell all 16 tickets, then only selling three. I don't think any contestant is a stranger to baseless self-endorsement.

This is quite an amusing read.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/10/2019 20:12

I couldn’t agree more, @ScreamingValenta!

Amibeingnaive · 03/10/2019 20:14

The rock painting was just bizarre. The sort of activity you give the kids to do when you're hungover and can't be arsed with proper parenting. Not sure why it was ever on the agenda in the first place.

Amibeingnaive · 03/10/2019 20:25

Ryan-Mark-Michael is 19.

So is Lottie. Thinking I've been a bit unfair to her now, minimising what she's achieved...

It takes most people far longer to become such a smug, supercilious narcissist.

Italiangreyhound · 03/10/2019 20:27

ScreamingValenta " I'm sure most people would prefer two hours' extra safari to the two hours rock painting and buying cuddly tiger tat in the giftshop that they should have had." Absobloodylutelly! Especially as they got to see two lots of elephants!

Original poster
dillite · 03/10/2019 20:32

Ryan-Mark-Michael is 19.
So is Lottie.

Did they stop counting their ages in 1999 or something?

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