I am Nicola

[RedHeadDiana]

Anyone watching? i love Vicky McClure

God, the proles are so touchy these days!

Al fresco dining

She was well dressed, articulate and had a job/car so I can't see why she would be with him in the first place

I know right! Everyone knows that only the “proles” get stuck in unhealthy relationships

I was disappointed by this. As others have said, she just didn’t seem to be particularly controlled. The way she immediately backed down and said she wouldn’t go to the gym, but then later confronted him about it and said his behaviour was weird, didn’t come across like she was scared of him or walking on eggshells. She would have been trying to appease him rather than stirring it up again.
And also, I don’t know if it was intentional, but the friend’s partner came across as just as controlling. Nobody normal launches straight into lecturing strangers about the atmosphere they want in their house and what they expect of guests, or interfering in other people’s relationships like that. In fact, I wonder if that was actually the more subtle message? That the one who was really in trouble wasn’t Nicola, who saw the signs and left, but the pregnant friend, who watched Adam shouting and bullying, and was still cooing about how romantic it was and how they should get married?

I watched the second half. I didn’t get upset. Not hugely coercive to my mind. Maybe I’ve known worse. I didn’t think the barbecue rang true at all. I also thought the pregnant friend was not particularly happy.
Disappointing as a drama.

I enjoyed it. I don't pretend to know if it was an accurate depiction of a controlling/coercive relationship or not, but, like a PP, felt that the friend (Ava?) character was more vulnerable.

Also wanted to like it, pretended to DH It was good, but she annoyed me, Why didnt she make any arrangements? what was that deal in the garden with the BBQ, that scene disintegrated really quickly. I get he just wanted the two of them which was boring - in fact as i am still thinking about it today shows something I guess.

i ready it wasnt ad lib

but she is wasted in Line of Duty.

So glad to have found this thread.

I found it absolutely gripping. But.... I kept waiting to see the real sign of cohersive control. It just wasn't there for me. Yes, she backed down a lot but as others have said, she was never scared of him and he didn't seem to make her question her own decisions or mindset, which I think is a core part of these relationships. I mean, you see it on here all the time - a woman comes on to explain a situation and is taking all the responsibility while asking, "AIBU about this one little bit" and everyone is telling her the whole thing is unacceptable.

The bbq scene didn't ring true at all. Agree that if anything, it made me think her friend was in as bad a relationship. The male host was a dick - very controlling himself and very quick to get quite aggressive. It just doesn't ring true.

The one bit that I thought was good was when he tells her he's just not seeing what she's complaining about leaving her all uncertain and unhappy and then he distracts her with the grand gesture of flowers and the tickets. So he never has to take responsibility. He think she's being silly but is willing to be the bigger person is the attitude.

www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/reviews/i-am-nicola-channel-4-vicky-mcclure-coercive-control-domestic-abuse-drama-a9017651.html
review here,
all the little behaviours we were meant to put together

That is a great review and put together like that you can really see the elements of coercive control. It also shows how hard it is to get people to understand and explain to others when you're in an emotionally abusive situation, when there are quite a few posters on here saying they can't see it but it was very clear to me.

You've don't have to be scared, it's enough that someone is controlling you with small actions and statements like he was. Also at the BBQ she says something like "please not here Adam" and from that I took that he makes a habit of spoiling social occasions although obviously they didn't show all that. My ex used to do that. Also the bit where he persuaded her not to go out with her friends saying they'd have a lovely evening together and he'd make them some nice food, yet turned up with no acknowledgement that she'd cancelled a night out, asking her what she was making for dinner. He'd got his own way, git her to stay at home and that was the end of it. He didn't care about keeping the deal he'd made once he had his own way.

I could see the coercion. But thought the acting was clunky and poor. It wasnt subtle, it felt rushed like they tried to cram in as many examples of coercion and passive aggressive behaviour as they could in one hour.

There wer examples of coersion. To be honest I just thought it was a bit crap and a huge let down. I think a lot of people who have been through coersive control will feel the same.

Well, I just caught up with this last night (having read this thread) and I wasn't that impressed.

I could see the ways in which he was acting like a complete tool (the leggings, the night out with her mates, the big gesture of flowers, etc) but she didn't seem remotely scared of him and thus I found the bits where she was crying quite baffling - she played the character as if she would have found it all too easy to leave. I'm sorry, I just couldn't see how it was a example of coercive control rather than merely a relationship well past its best before date that both people would be better off out of.

The barbecue was just weird. The other bloke was just as bad as Adam with his house rules and "no negativity" and was equally at fault for the row that broke out.

Unfortunately, I don't think the improvisation helped - there were times when Vicky McClure was clearly stilted and reaching for what to say.

This is an interesting response to it.

It's an hour of my life I'll never get back.

That's what i felt warching it.

I hadn't realised much of it was improvised, might help to explain why many thought it was a let down.
I think that's done the subject matter even more of a disservice.

Unfortunately, I don't think the improvisation helped - there were times when Vicky McClure was clearly stilted and reaching for what to say.

That would explain the poor acting and the lack of facial expressions. She seemed way out of her league in that role. She played it in exactly the same style as she does in Line of Duty.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one - I didn't think this was much good at all. He was a bit of a twat no doubt about it but he wasn't controlling her. Acting was poor, ad libbing was uncomfortable to watch - whole thing really missed the spot for me.

i am Kirsty this is bleak

me watching too. Anything with Sam Morton is brilliant and indeed it is.

One thing I don't get - why isn't Kirsty getting single mother benefits?

Do you think the guy who lent her money is going tp force her into prostitution?

Oh NO. Loan shark?

She managed to do a hell of a lot with £500!

I'm sitting here shouting Food Bank! Furniture from Salvation Army! Free electric from Sally Army too!

Oh, and the police for Paul Kaye. Come on, girl.